to ask DH NOT to take a piss in the morning

[BurntToastSmell]

Details:

• we live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat (DH shows no interest in leaving it despite my pleading).
• I've got a 2yr old DD & 9 mth old DS.
• DH leaves early for work in the morning. The bathroom is right next to the kids' bedroom. When he has his morning piss he manages to wake me (I'm not bothered about this) and wake the kids (I am bothered about this).
• I'm at home all day alone with the kids, and I'm not being precious when I say, it is physically exhausting. I'm on pills for anxiety and depression and often find it difficult to cope.
• When DH doesn't get up early for work, the kids sleep for at least another 2 hours. This definitely helps me to cope better with the rest of the day.

I reached the conclusion that it must be DH having a piss before work that wakes the kids up. So I suggested to him that he not piss before leaving for work (anytime up till 5am is fine). And he completely blew up at me. He got very angry.

I didn't think I was being overly unreasonable with my suggestion, as I've been preventing myself from pissing after 5am for months now. (Yup, it can be uncomfortable at times - but getting up at that hour and having the kids all day on your own is even "more^ uncomfortable).

AIBU?

I totally sympathise. DH and I were regularly woken for years by our upstairs neighbour's morning pee. It was thunderous. We obviously never said anything - I can't imagine how that conversation would go. If we'd had the baby while we were there and he'd been woken I might have considered it though!

As someone who was woken at 5am every single morning by father sounding like Niagra Falls i fully sympathise. It wasnt until my parents swapped the rooms around and it was my mother that was being woken that she insisted he pee more quietly. Never got an apology for being a liar/drama queen though

I agree that asking him to sit down would make a difference. But apologise first for being U at asking him to not pee at all!

Seriously Gold? atleast 5 times? I think you need to see a doctor, I am sure that isnt normal.

Oh another MN fallacy about men, they all piss in the sink. No they don't. And you must know some complete animals if all the men you know do.

smeg I have got a weak bladder, which at 21 isn't very good! Apparently it's because it's twisted (found this out as it took 3 nurses to catheterise me)

YABU and ridiculous. You already have him climbing out through the window to go to work so he doesn't disturb your PFB , and now he's not allowed to have a pee in the morning?

I do not believe this is real. If it is, you seriously need to take a step back and look at how bizarre your behaviour is.

I missed the window part! What the actual fuck.

I think you may need to move. And I suspect from your op that as that is what you want to do, you may be trying to make life as difficult as possible for your DH so he agrees to it.
Which is not, IMO, very nice.

If my DH told me I had to climb out of a window to go to work and not have a pee in the morning I would quite honestly tell him to fuck off.

Just sit down and talk to him, explain the reasons why you feel you need to move, listen to what he has to say. Can you afford to move? What is stopping him from agreeing?
Then work from there.

Of course YABU to ask him not to take a leak, is it not the 1st thing everyone does after waking?

However YWNBU to discuss the situation with him like an adult & explain why you are so desperate (which you really do sound-I sympathise as I do not function well without enough sleep)

The other thing to discuss is your clear unhappiness at living in the tiny 2 bedroom flat-is this something you have to do because of cost or is moving to a bigger place an option? If so why is DH so reluctant to consider? (sorry if you've already been asked this but short of time this morning so can't do 6 pages )

They live in a flat!

I'm not surprised he leaves for work early. Poor bloke obviously can't wait to get away before you think of something else to nag him about. This must be a joke posting.

put a big wadge of loo paper all over the bowl of the loo.

sit down.

pee

close lid.

do not flush.

hmmm having sleep deprived mum and two kids is not acceptable at all if it can be avoided. Not taking a piss in the morning is also unacceptable. So you need to find a way for him to piss that doesn't wake everyone.

Plenty of good suggestions on the thread already...

OP - firstly, you need to apologise to DH for asking something so utterly unreasonable.

Then you can discuss what can be done to try and minimise the noise.

Sitting down and not flushing are the most obvious suggestions. But don't go phrasing 'sitting down' in a way that comes across as an affront to his masculinity.

Basically, sitting down to wee in a morning when you're a bloke means that you don't have to concentrate as hard at aiming in the right place and the urine jet is naturally going to go on the sides of the bowl rather than the water.

Play on the positives to get him on side.

Best of luck (from a recent convert to nighttime/morning sat-down wees).

DH sits down to pee. He is scandanavian. In fact at the language school where all us foreigners go to learn the lingo there is a poster on the toilet door showing correct peeing position. And the man is most defintely sitting!

Don't give him any liquids after 6pm and hopefully he won't have any wee in his bladder come morning

Yes. You are being very unreasonable in your request. No wonder he reacted badly.

Have a chat with him and come up with a reasonable solution.

I really sympathise. I know what its like to feel that you would do anything just to get a decent amount of sleep. I wonder what your DH would say if the situation was reversed?

Our bathroom beside DC bedrooms and DP and I both tend to 'hang' on if we wake before DC- means we get a few extra minutes with a , or even a cuddle! They don't stir at anything in the night, but are much more easily woken by noise in the morning.

Many many people on here (myself included) were willing to try anything to alleviate sleep deprivation- that is what were are doing when you asked DH not to wee in the morning.

I do realise that it is not really a practical request, but I am quite quite sure that if you were waking DC early by weeing, and DH was doing the childcare then he would be annoyed with you.

The situation for this poster has moved on since this post; her new one is in relationships. Right now when her abusive husband pisses is not a priority!

Aplogies I didn't realise. I haven't seen new thread and hope I've not caused any offence- if I have I am sorry.

Stuntgirl this is a completely new thread from the same person!!

This is about wee

Other one in relationships is Whingey kids!!!

get him to wee in the sink and wash it away that way , probably quieter.

Mad thread. My husband pees, shaves, cleans his teeth and showers before work. That's just normal adult cleanliness. Put the kids to bed earlier if you're concerned they aren't getting enough sleep.