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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask DH NOT to take a piss in the morning

153 replies

BurntToastSmell · 09/10/2012 20:22

Details:

  • we live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat (DH shows no interest in leaving it despite my pleading).
  • I've got a 2yr old DD & 9 mth old DS.
  • DH leaves early for work in the morning. The bathroom is right next to the kids' bedroom. When he has his morning piss he manages to wake me (I'm not bothered about this) and wake the kids (I am bothered about this).
  • I'm at home all day alone with the kids, and I'm not being precious when I say, it is physically exhausting. I'm on pills for anxiety and depression and often find it difficult to cope.
  • When DH doesn't get up early for work, the kids sleep for at least another 2 hours. This definitely helps me to cope better with the rest of the day.

I reached the conclusion that it must be DH having a piss before work that wakes the kids up. So I suggested to him that he not piss before leaving for work (anytime up till 5am is fine). And he completely blew up at me. He got very angry.

I didn't think I was being overly unreasonable with my suggestion, as I've been preventing myself from pissing after 5am for months now. (Yup, it can be uncomfortable at times - but getting up at that hour and having the kids all day on your own is even "more^ uncomfortable).

AIBU?

OP posts:
ZacharyQuack · 09/10/2012 23:07

Could he piss out the window and leave through the door?

FatLadyAboutToSing · 09/10/2012 23:10

Grin Zachary

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/10/2012 23:15

German men are now increasingly sitting to piss. It's the latest thing! I think you need some perspective but I know how it feels when you have a small baby and no sleep.

thetrackisback · 09/10/2012 23:17

Things will get better soon op. I'm wishing you up an ensuite! Think a serious discussion about moving definately needs to happen. Hope you get some sleep! My little boy went through this phase. he was two and i was pregnant with twins. i used to put peppa pig on and i would get a blanket and have a snooze on the seetee. not that easy with a nine month old though. (Still thinking about the window it really has made me giggle!! definately one for the grand kids!)

ike1 · 09/10/2012 23:24

He might piss like a friggin horse tho. My BF thunders his piss into the pan-I think it might be an alpha male thing....

ZenNudist · 09/10/2012 23:25

Your post sounds like there is a lot of resentment building up on your part. You hate your 'tiny' house, you don't enjoy being with the kids all day alone (understandable). Don't take it out in your dh. He can't help needing a wee at 5am. If he's getting up that early for work you should appreciate it's not easy for him. He could try & pee quieter. I think finding some way that you can get respite from childcare all week could be good for you. How about getting a childminder and a pt job? Even if it's not going to increase your household income it might make you feel better and be good for getting a job once kids are at school.

Alternatively go to bed earlier?

marbleslost · 09/10/2012 23:54

I do get annoyed when mne comes in at 1am after a night out and wakes us all up. but I couldn't be annoyed at him having a pee when he's getting up at 5am to support us. I think it would be reasonable to ask him to be quieter.

differentnameforthis · 10/10/2012 00:19

FatLadyAboutToSing That's ok! Grin

hermioneweasley · 10/10/2012 06:56

I am wondering what happened this morning?

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 10/10/2012 07:27

To be fair, I have banned DH from peeing in the loo next to DS's bedroom when he goes to work early for exactly this reason- he has a pee just before he leaves, and just as the front door shuts I have DS next to me, wide awake and tantruming because daddy's not there.Then he's grumpy all morning because he's tired.

I grew up in a house with ancient plumbing/ noisy pipes with a strict "if it's yellow, let it mellow" rule between 10pm and 7am, so I'm in the "pee but don't flush" camp.

SavoyCabbage · 10/10/2012 07:34

Could you play a classic music cd on repeat as 'white noise' in their rooms. We do this as we live in a stupid open plan house.

diddl · 10/10/2012 08:16

"If he's hung like a donkey and has a flabby butt your problems are over."

That is just absolutely hilarious!

hermioneweasley · 10/10/2012 20:39

Well, what happened?

MissWing · 10/10/2012 20:48

I don't think you are being unreasonable to seek a solution that doesn't wake the kids up. It's a long day and if it becomes 2 hours longer, it makes me want to cry. Look for a solution that allows him to pee though!

Raspberryandorangesorbet · 10/10/2012 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wheresmespecs · 10/10/2012 20:55

Why can't he pee in the kitchen sink? Not ideal but better than a thunderingly loud toilet trip (depends where your kitchen is, obvs).

If I have to get up in the night for a piss, to avoid waking DS, I will walk quietly, pee quietly (put paper down first) and then not flush until morning.

I feel my basic human rights are still intact. Some posters on this thread can afford to calm down.

RainyAfternoon · 10/10/2012 20:57

My sister, who lives there, informs me it's illegal for men in the Zurich canton to piss standing up after 9pm due to noise pollutuion...

Chubfuddler · 10/10/2012 21:00

If my husband pissed in the kitchen sink I would leave. That is a revolting suggestion.

Shutupanddrive · 10/10/2012 21:15

I can't believe some people are suggesting he wees in the kitchen sink! That's disgusting! Shock

CaptainVonTrapp · 10/10/2012 21:24

Well if he's got to open the window anyway he may as well piss out of it.

YANBU. If his piss is having such a bad impact on your day he needs to piss elsewhere (or far more quietly).

janey68 · 10/10/2012 21:24

Gosh how unreasonable of your dh getting up and off to a hard days grind at 5am and actually daring to have a piss.

Tell you what... Why don't you to to work instead and then he can have a few extra hours in bed, I'm sure that would work fine for him

HeadlessForHalloween · 10/10/2012 21:52

I can see why it is getting to you, even if it unreasonable to ask him not to pee. I know all too well that devastating feeling of the kids being woken 2 hours early when your exhausted. When your feeling depressed it can be soul destroying.

I know it's AIBU, and I know it is totally unreasonable to ask your partner not to piss, but come on, The OP said she was depressed and anxious, this is obviously a symptom of it. Give her some slack. Some of the posts saying she is insane, and, get a grip etc are a bit shitty.

Although, you did make me laugh with the dh climbing out of the window post BurntToastSmell Grin

Talk to him about moving again, and about how much it would improve your well being and general family life.

HeadlessForHalloween · 10/10/2012 21:53

And in the meantime get him to line the pan with loo roll and don't flush :)

wheresmespecs · 10/10/2012 23:50

The kitchen sink can have bleach chucked down it. I'm not suggesting he gets his cock out and sprays the dishrack and the chopping boards with his piss, like some giant tomcat.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable, and it would be better to sleep deprive someone already on medication for anxiety and depression.

And if you ladies think your DP has never pissed in your sink, dream on. Grin

GoldShip · 11/10/2012 00:06

Good god if my DP asked me to do this I'd think he was going silly. I wee at LEAST 5 times a night.