to ask DH NOT to take a piss in the morning

[BurntToastSmell]

Details:

• we live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat (DH shows no interest in leaving it despite my pleading).
  
• I've got a 2yr old DD & 9 mth old DS.
  
• DH leaves early for work in the morning. The bathroom is right next to the kids' bedroom. When he has his morning piss he manages to wake me (I'm not bothered about this) and wake the kids (I am bothered about this).
  
• I'm at home all day alone with the kids, and I'm not being precious when I say, it is physically exhausting. I'm on pills for anxiety and depression and often find it difficult to cope.
  
• When DH doesn't get up early for work, the kids sleep for at least another 2 hours. This definitely helps me to cope better with the rest of the day.
  

I reached the conclusion that it must be DH having a piss before work that wakes the kids up. So I suggested to him that he not piss before leaving for work (anytime up till 5am is fine). And he completely blew up at me. He got very angry.

I didn't think I was being overly unreasonable with my suggestion, as I've been preventing myself from pissing after 5am for months now. (Yup, it can be uncomfortable at times - but getting up at that hour and having the kids all day on your own is even "more^ uncomfortable).

AIBU?

[BurntToastSmell]

I have no idea what it is about him peeing that wakes us all up. I'm always awaken from a deep sleep, and it's always as he's pissing. We have wipe-clean floor that are creaky, so maybe that's it. I've been holding in my morning pisses for months, so - he should too! Screw you guys

[JustFabulous]

Charliefox - seriously?

[ratspeaker]

You need a good old fashioned chamber pot
He could then pee in that and leave it in the bedroom for you to empty later.
Hopefully he wont need a dump


Of course it could be that its someone moving around, door opening and closing thats waking the kids

[BurntToastSmell]

Guys,. you are going to find it hillarious that every morning he exits through the window instead of through the door. 100% true.

[Chubfuddler]

Is there a reason for that?

[50smellsofshite]

I worked with some Swedish men a few years back and they told me it was very common in Scandinavian countries for men to sit down and pee.

I have no idea if this is true. Anyone?

[BurntToastSmell]

Chub - cause the main door is very loud and right next to the nursery.

[GrimAndHumourless]

you need to crochet a baffle

[Tuttutitlookslikerain]

Christ, you must be really light sleepers or your DH must be really noisy!

My DH gets up at 5.10am and I don't even hear the alarm clock go off!

[BurntToastSmell]

Sitting down to pee makes complete sense.

• relaxing
  
• less concentration required
  
• cleaner (less splashes)
  
• warms the seat for the next person
  
• and most importantly, it's more QUIET

[JacqueslePeacock]

A urine baffle??

[honeytea]

I worked with some Swedish men a few years back and they told me it was very common in Scandinavian countries for men to sit down and pee. I have no idea if this is true. Anyone?

That's not true.

[Anonymumous]

CharlieFox, my DH won't let our sons stand up to pee because they are both terrible for gazing round the room while they're doing it and peeing up the walls, over the cistern or into the bath. So, yes, they have to sit down and hold their willies down - or face parental wrath!

[ivykaty44]

someone needs to invent the wee muffler

[Chubfuddler]

I actually think you need to get your children used to sleeping through light background noise. Not peeing and climbing out if windows is odd.

[apostropheuse]

50smells...you're cracking me up!

OP ...why the hell does he exit via the window???


Maybe you could buy some of those disposable bedpan bottle they give to men in hospital - then he can use it in the garden on his way out. It surely must be biodegradable!

[MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour]

God your poor DH he's not allowed to pee in his own home and he's not allowed to use the door either!

You do realise your very U and sounding like a bit of a nightmare don't you?!

[MoreBeta]

Sit down, don't flush, don't slam the door.

It really is that simple.

[JacqueslePeacock]

We don't flush while DS is sleeping (nightmare sleeper), but not to wee at all would be beyond me!

[JacqueslePeacock]

Do you maybe have a compost heap in need of dampening?

[TheTermagantToaster]

Most Japanese men sit down to pee, so says DH.

OP, have you considered a white noise CD on low in the nursery?

[TiggyD]

You are the most evil person so far this century.

YABVU.

[secondseverncrossing]

My cousing lives in Switzerland and apparently he is not allowed to pee standing up after something like 9PM in order to avoid causing too much noise to the neighbours (live in a flat).

[pictish]

So...he climbs out of a window in the morning, and is now expected not to pee?
Is this for real?!

[camgirl]

I think there might be bigger issues here?!!

Can you come to a joint plan to move to a bigger place at some point? Are you trying to make him so uncomfortable that he realises you need to move? Can you take the initiative and find some possible alternative flats that are a more practical size for a growing family, just go ahead and book some viewings?

I totally sympathise on the practical issue as we had similar when we lived in a flat. DH didn't flush and managed to be quiet!