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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask who has had botox or fillers or plastic surgery of some kind?

277 replies

wrinklesandproud · 09/10/2012 19:55

(namechanged for this).

I can honestly say that having any of the above has never entered my mind. I'll be 40 next year. I have some wrinkles on my forehead, a neck that seems to be looking increasingly wobbly and wrinkly, and crinkles all round my eyes. But I just thought that was what happened as you got older. No-one I knew until very recently has ever had any 'work done'. Botox was something you read about in Grazia magazine.

But we've moved recently to a new area and (public) school and it seems that with the people where we live it is the norm to go for regular botox and/or fillers and/or other surgery from boob jobs to liposuction. This is discussed the same way buying a new dress would be chatted about over coffee. For the first time in my life I feel as though I am the odd woman out for just going au natural. I am starting to be swayed by their way of thinking, whereas previously I never could have imagined me having any of this stuff done.

So I'm just curious to know how many mumsnetters have either had any of these things done (if so what) and if not, would you consider it?

I sort of feel as though having stuff done is cheating, but if you're the only sucker not cheating, you end up as the loser.

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 26/05/2013 13:47

OldBag

But I do know how old she is, and I know what she looked like, so I can't really answer that properly/objectively. I think she looks nice. I'm not sure she looks natural.

Chippedandstained · 26/05/2013 13:47

Farbetternow here are the side effects of Botox

Swollen lymph glands isn't one of them. Seriously you're talking nonsense.

Chippedandstained · 26/05/2013 13:48

There is no causal risk between Botox and lymphoma. Fact.

Hamishbear · 26/05/2013 13:49

There are few women on TV or in public eye that haven't had work done of some sort over 35 years old - Botox pretty much being a given.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 26/05/2013 13:55

Hamish

wonder how many men? Probably some - although grey hair is more acceptable on men , so I'm guessing wrinkles are as well.

I'm guessing men who have had it done are more on the light entertainment side rather than newscasters/journalists

FarBetterNow · 26/05/2013 14:05

Chipped: that link is from a botox manufacturer!
Though they do say it is a neurotoxin, harmless in small doses.

Google 'adverse effects of botox'.
There are support groups for users of botox suffering severe side effects.

Our bodies have to deal with too many pollutants and toxins already,
why knowingly inject more, just to look a bit younger.

utopian99 · 26/05/2013 14:07

Interesting thread! (OP you're not a journo in disguise are you?)

mrspaddy · 26/05/2013 14:10

I haven't got any wrinkles yet- well into my thirties. No grey hair yet either. I think you can look after yourself and look well without any enhancements and don't think a casual approach to surgery/fillers would be for me.
Each to their won though.. we all have to be happy and if people are into it - good for them.

FarBetterNow · 26/05/2013 14:11

My cousin has died from Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma

Causes of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma - taken from www.cancer.org

*Exposure to certain chemicals

Some studies have suggested that chemicals such as benzene and certain herbicides and insecticides (weed- and insect-killing substances) may be linked with an increased risk of non-Hodgkin lymphoma.*

Chippedandstained · 26/05/2013 14:19

Farbetternow Botox isn't a benzine, a weed killer, or an insecticide! And the manufacturer's data sheet lists all of the adverse effects as submitted to the highly rigorous FDA. Not some spurious nonsense written by those who can't understand the difference between one compound and another.

Do you really think your spouting such silliness helps anyone who is prescribed Botox for their condition, undoubtedly at far far higher doses than the cosmetic application?

stepawayfromthescreen · 26/05/2013 14:29

just want to add that plastic surgery/Botox is massively different to makeup and hair dye. Putting needles and scalpels under your skin is a whole other game of chess. You can't compare surgery to makeup.

FarBetterNow · 26/05/2013 14:34

Chipped: the thread is not about being prescribed botox.
The thread is about botox in the context of cosmetic procedures.

Botox is not benzine but it is a toxin.

Thank you for the insults.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 26/05/2013 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMelons · 26/05/2013 15:20

DonDrapers they really only look like DDs TBH, because fake boobs are fuller all over the measurements are bigger but they look smaller (hard to explain). I can still wear size 12 tops/dresses.

I think it is sad when some of the celebrities have too much surgery/botox, they are often very beautiful and it does make them lookweird. Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud was on tv the other week and she looked so odd, she can only be about 30ish.

MrsMelons · 26/05/2013 15:25

Annie - I totally understand where you are coming from, life is too short to feel bad about things you can actually do something about. I don't think it is about being sheep, in fact I know a lot of people who are unhappy with how they look and wish they could do something about it but can't afford it or are scared of surgery. In RL very few people I know have had botox/surgery so I don't think it is about being 'sheep'.

There are some people who do it to copy/look like celebrities which I think is sad and shows huge insecurities however to have surgery or botox because it will make YOU feel better is entirely different.

No one would ever be able to tell I have had surgery but I can now wear the clothes I want to etc so I am happier in myself.

squoosh · 26/05/2013 15:39

I agree about Sarah Harding, she had such a beautiful face till she started messing around with it. She looks so much older than her years now.

MrsMelons · 26/05/2013 16:17

I really have no idea why she felt she needed to, she looked fab IMO.

mercury7 · 26/05/2013 16:25

MsPaddy, 'well into your 30's' is still comparatively very young Wink I was 45 + before I had any concerns about lines on my face.
For most people facial tissue doesnt start to sag until late 40's early 50's

HotCrossPun · 26/05/2013 16:25

Which paper do you write for OP?

Mumsyblouse · 26/05/2013 16:41

Well, I'm a sucker who is not doing it yet. It's not that I think I look perfect, I clearly don't and I can think of several procedures which might make me look better (botox is not one, hate the look or perhaps I've just seen it done badly). But, I am a coward, hate needles and don't fancy worrying about any long-term risks, PIP implants has reminded me that unnecessary interventions are just that, unnecessary unless your life is literally ruined.

I think it's a shame that people have so much done, it's interesting that the people on this thread who have had one thing, have had others as well.

I also think it's linked to the obsession over being thin into your 30/40/50's in certain sectors of society (media, glammy mummies) because in the past, like my granny said, you just got to 40, put on some pounds (face or figure was their motto) and your wrinkles looked much better. If you want to be a size 0 or even a bit bigger, you will have a wrinkly face, which is exactly why all the celebrities like Madonna and Nicole Kidman have had fillers, poor Cameron Diaz has ruined her face this way (although Madonna is starting to look better now it has unfrozen).

I also take a strange type of pride in not feeling so bad about my ageing face (I'm early forties, it's not that bad!) that I am prepared to undergo surgery or very invasive or painful procedures to make me 'look better' - I would see that as a type of defeat, not sure why. I do know that those that have had it don't stop fretting about their appearance after its done, which is why I think it can become a negative spiral of 'things to do next'. Also- I look at my mum and friends enjoying life in their 60's and 70's and they look great, but they all look really much older, neck wrinkles and so on that no amount of surgery can fix (even Joan Collins just wears scarves!)

I would never say never, but it's not currently tempting.

Scruffey · 26/05/2013 16:44

I haven't and won't, even if it was free.
I don't own any makeup.
I'm not pretty, I just look like an ordinary person and am at a complete loss as to why anyone cares!

FarBetterNow · 26/05/2013 16:47

Mumsy: I agree.

I'm 60 and it wouldn't matter what I had done I'm never going to look 40 again.

mercury7 · 26/05/2013 16:56

If you want to be a size 0 or even a bit bigger, you will have a wrinkly face
hmm, I dunno if that 'face or figure' thing is really true?
I'm late 40's lean enough that I have visible abs but if anything I think my face looks better because my jaw is sharper and I dont have any double chin (as compared to when I was heavier in my 30's)
i certainly dont feel as if I 'need' fillers.

The lines on your face are possibly more heavily influenced by sun exposure, whether you smoke, and how good your natural collagen production is?

stepawayfromthescreen · 26/05/2013 17:05

I think the money some women spend on fillers and Botox should be invested on counselling instead. They need to wipe out their fear of ageing, not their wrinkles. Counselling for self esteem is what's often most needed, not surgery.

mercury7 · 26/05/2013 17:13

what about women who spend money on food and booze, should it be spent on running shoes and a gym membership?