to feel that most people feel it is OK to make nasty comments/ridicule an overweight/fat person'?

[SoleSource]

AIBU?

I was at a conference recently for around 120 teachers/school staff. The question was asked - "what do we want our children to be when they leave school?" - work in groups/write it down etc.

I noticed on many tables (including ours) the phrase came up "well rounded" (i.e., a well rounded individual with lots of life skills) which sounds good eh? Most of the answers were on that sort of theme. We then had to call out answers across the room to be written on a board. The first table, no surprise, shouted "we want children to be well rounded" and immediately a teacher on another table shouted "but NOT too well rounded!" - cue much hilarity. I didn't personally take offence (and I am fat) but it made me feel a bit uncomfortable, particularly as the theme of the day was combating racism, sexism and prejudice against children with disabilities or those from poor families.

Just so long as as they weren't fat eh?

Hang on, just thought of something else - there was a BBC quiz asking people what things they least understood - this was earlier this year, on the BBC news website, probably under the "magazine" type bit. So the top 10 things that people least understood were things you might think of like particle physics, string theory, how banks calculate APR, and how people let themselves get fat.

How people let themselves get fat. OK. So its a lifestyle choice. And here's me thinking it was a complex issue based on genetics, social factors etc etc which is why the incidence of obesity keeps going up. Silly me.

It had never ever occurred to me that people do not understand the various reasons why it happens, everything from genetics to comfort eating and every shade inbetween. Or at least think hmm I bet that problem is not as simple as I think.

So by inference, is it something that "normal" size people think overweight people "allow" to happen? Like we just sit back, tuck in and cheerfully wait for the consequences? OMG - is that what people really think? No wonder some people treat fat people with such derision?!

It's true NotonethingbutAnother. When I first sought help for my eating disorder the GP I saw refused to refer me because as far as he was concerned there was nothing wrong with me, I was just greedy. :(

I wonder why others do feel it is OK to pint at an overweight person, laugh and say sonething. They cannot feel very OK about themselves. I very rarely feel the need. It is pointless to me.

Sorry to ask a question on someone else's thread...

but I have a friend who is overweight and has been working really really hard to loose weight and he has been succeeding. When I notice his weight loss I compliment him briefly and subtly when I greet him. He tends to look a bit embarrassed when I do this but I just want him to know that as his friend I am very proud of him. I worked hard to loose weight and I know that it is difficult to gauge if you have lost weight without weighing yourself or having someone point it out. Sometimes I feel he might be more comfortable if I didn't mention it [embarrassed] How do people here feel? If you had lost weight would you like someone to briefly congratulate you or would you find it patronising and annoying? I just don't want to offend him.

Also OP, YABU. Most people don't feel like it's OK to mock someone's weight openly but there is a judgey culture about 'fat' people's health behaviour.

Hi whenlife

It is everyones tbread.

I don't lime being compkimented petsonallt. I have an eating disorder and find as I canot hide my body shape prefer it if my body was not commented on. Everybody is different but maybe saynothing to your friebd if you feel he is embarrassed.

Soley, I think your generally disaffection with your lot is really getting to you. Of course MOST people don't think its is ok to make nasty comments to or ridicule an overweight person. You are clearly thinking in a very glass-half-empty way there.

I hope the job goes well for you. Meanwhile, have you considered joining the 5:2 eating thread on here? It might help solve your food/body issues for good?

Yes I need to have sone more posotive experiences. Can I have a,link please Mintty? :)

here you go

I very strongly recommend you watch the whole of the Panorama programme that got us all going - prob now on YouTube. Then look at the links in the first post. Then just start!

Sorry, it was a Horizon programme, not Panorama.

Ahh I watched that very interesting programme. I loved it.

Thank you mintyy.

theinets - I expect it is comments just such as yours that the OP finds so upsetting. Did you mean to be so rude?

.

You are right theinets I pity you as you obviously lack knowledge and compassion.

I think it's more socially acceptable to criticise or ridicule people for being slim, especially women.

More people than you think have medical problems actually THEINETS. Your accounting for people diagnosed with problems, there's a hell of a lot of people out there who don't know what's wrong and it can take a while to get diagnosed. Ignorant.

Ephiny I agree that goes on too. I despise it,.

I do oveteat, I am greedy to quell my emotional pain. Anarexics do tnis but in reverse.

Some people seem to have a lot more sympathy for Anarexocs tban fat peopke.

Yabu to think most people think like that, I think you've just been unlucky enough to encounter a few arseholes! Think about how many people you see in a day, I bet more than 90% of them don't point and make shitty comments.

I have been at both extremes and everything in between and got lots more comments when I was skinny.

OP you have come across some knobbers. However those fee knobbers are not the majority or most people to walk past in the street, meet, know etc.

You didn't say in your first mention that she swore and stated something directly about your weight. You said she pointed an laughed, which is why I asked the question

Also many anorexics get abuse from people they know, strangers.
Some people are just knobs and we all come across them from time to time.