Page 2 | to feel that most people feel it is OK to make nasty comments/ridicule an overweight/fat person'?

RunnerHasbeen · 09/10/2012 11:30

I don't think most people think it is acceptable to ridicule anyone, YABU, most people wouldn't care less.

WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 11:32

No I don't think most people feel it's ok.

Some obviously do but then you'll probably find them taking the piss out of ginger haired people/short people/very tall people/someone with crooked teeth...etc etc too.

imnotmymum · 09/10/2012 11:33

I would not say "most" very vague language. I have never experienced anyone being nasty to a fat person but in answer to your "people treat me differently "maybe there is a subtle change in you if you are not comfortable with being larger. But Sole an awful experience for you but not the norm surely.

LadyInDisguise · 09/10/2012 11:33

I think few people would dare making direct jokes/comments about an overweight person.

But there is certainly the idea that overweight people are so because they don't control themselves, they are just pigs, they are lazy etc... You just have to read the thread on here about losing weight to see that.

And there is also the added bonus that being overweight isn't seen as attractive. in our society where being attractive and how you look is seeing as something IMPORTANT, then being overweight is obvioulsy an issue.

OP uncomfortably I am not surprised if you have noticed that people treat you differently if you are overweight compared to when you are slim/slimmer.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 09/10/2012 11:35

YABU. I genuinely don't remember the last time I was aware of someone making horrid comments about a fat person.

I actually find it's the other way round; I'm thin (well, lanky/slim really) and people seem to think it's fine to make comments about my weight and, if I"m eating, about that too, in a way that I never see or hear about with fat people. It's a big double standard IMO and IME.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 09/10/2012 11:35

I agree with Vivienne actually. People who are very skinny also have loads of comments made to them like "Eat a pie, you're a bag of bones" etc.

I'm not saying that disgraceful incident in Sainsbury's didn't happen of course :(. No wonder you were upset.

Toughasoldboots · 09/10/2012 11:35

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KnockKnockPenny · 09/10/2012 11:36

I wonder how many people will actually admit that they find fat people disgusting?

sookiesookie · 09/10/2012 11:36

My husband prefers me slim. Because I am happier slim, more confident want to go and generally a happier person. He loves me though if I have been slim or over weight, its me that's different. He genuinely doesn't care if i am an 8 or an 18. He is still affectionate, loving etc. I get down on myself when I am over weight and he hates seeing me sad and depressed.
Maybe people treat you different because you act different.

Toughasoldboots · 09/10/2012 11:37

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WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 11:38

Yep I had all the skinny comments right up until I was about 32.

Much of them were from normally really nice people who just didn't realise how ignorant they were being.

CrackerJackShack · 09/10/2012 11:38

I don't think most people are nasty, but I have noticed that they seem to think it's perfectly ok to lecture an overweight person about their weight, and tell them how "easy" it is to loose it "eat less, move more yadda yadda yadda"

For some reason they seem to think that overweight people don't know how they look and don't no that being overweight is unhealthy.

wonderingsoul · 09/10/2012 11:39

ynbu.

what a horriable horrible thing to have happen.
i to am over weight and i do feel its the main thing people can take the mick out of.
have had plenty of laughs out of van windows.
had "friends" who thought they where better then you because their not over weight.

one of my closest friends once said (she was pretty young at this point.. just add) that she could never work in a "big birgl" shop because she would feel bad for them. but she will be the first one to give some one hazzel if they where to insult me due to my size.

my point is. where some people wont actively insult some one they may inwardly feel sorry/pitty them.. or think them self above some one who is over weight.

MainlyMaynie · 09/10/2012 11:40

Twats think it's ok. Reasonable people don't. Most people are reasonable, which also exercises a restraint on the twats.

You also have no idea why the woman pointed. It's rude to point, but maybe they'd just been joking about how many people they'd seen wearing the same jacket that day and then you were wearing it again. It's just as likely as it being related to your weight. So many people are overweight that she'd be standing there with her finger pointing all day.

SadPanda · 09/10/2012 11:42

I don't think it's most people but I do think an unacceptable number of people think it's ok. I've been quite overweight for a few years due to an eating disorder and I rarely go out alone anymore because experience has taught me that if I do, people will say cruel and nasty things to me. Strangely enough it only happens when I'm a vulnerable disabled overweight person on my own. They don't think it's acceptable when my 6ft2 strapping husband is with me. Wonder why?

Hullygully · 09/10/2012 11:43

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sookiesookie · 09/10/2012 11:44

OP if you had been slim, would you have assumed the woman was pointing and laughing at your appearance?

Original poster

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:46

I had a friend who was atwo I.chrs taller thanI. She is 5'11. I was about 5 stones heavier than her. She weighed around 15 stones. She made endless negative comments about my appeatence. Callingme d (I am 8 years older) and even showed me her naked body and askedme how jealous I was as I was and never lok lime her. She was no friend and big herself. Fat agsinst fat :(

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WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 11:47

That's a good point though Sole, you don't know what they were pointing and laughing at.

Yes it's rude to point etc...but it might just be that you're the spitting image of someone they know and one of them was just about to wave until they realised you were someone else.

There could be many reasons.

Original poster

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:48

She said tbats why you shpuld eat salad sookie as she ficking pointed at me.

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Original poster

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:49

That woman got to me so bad it was too painful to write what she said.

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PorkyandBess · 09/10/2012 11:49

I agree in principle with the op.

I think a lot of people make comments about fat people as a matter of course.

For example, in my colleague's car yesterday, waiting at a crossing. Fat woman was crossing. My colleague said, 'blimey, she ate all the pies'.

Not to her, just as an aside to me. I think this sort of thing is very common place.

WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 11:50

I've noticed you saying a few times that you're unhappy with your weight Sole

Are you doing anything about it/can you do anything about it?

Original poster

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:52

Feel a bit low, triggers eati.g. Wsiting for CRB check to start new job. Need to get back on tbe St JohnsWort.

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toffeefee · 09/10/2012 11:52

YABU. I think that the kind of person who thinks it is ok to ridicule a fat person, is also the kind of person who think it's ok to ridicule people for other things too - for example height, skinniness, clothes etc. This is not 'most' people, in fact I think it is a minority of people. I only know one person who has ever said things about being people being overweight and she has many, many problems with her own body image.