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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel that most people feel it is OK to make nasty comments/ridicule an overweight/fat person'?

143 replies

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:12

AIBU?

OP posts:
MainlyMaynie · 09/10/2012 11:53

That woman was a bitch and a terrible example to her children. You are overweight. She is the one with the worse problem.

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:53

At least you are being honest Hully about your prejudices for a change lol

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 11:55

I would ignore any goading comments to be honest.

Maybe starting work will help give you a positive frame of mind?

What sort of job is it?

sleepyhead · 09/10/2012 11:56

People who do that sort of thing are generally very, very stupid and completely lacking in self-awareness. Would you want to go through life acting like Nelson Muntz? I wouldn't.

Most people don't point and laugh at strangers. Most people don't ridicule overweight people (or anyone).

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:56

Working as a receptionist in a local hospice :)

OP posts:
SoleSource · 09/10/2012 11:57

This cow was no Vicki from Little Britain.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 12:00

Good luck with the job Thanks

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 12:02

Thank you Worra :) I cannot wait!

OP posts:
scentednappyhag · 09/10/2012 12:04

Almost every time I go for an evening out, someone feels the need to comment on my weight. At least some people have the balls to do it to my face, as the not quite quiet enough comments annoy me more.
But still, I don't think most people think its ok to comment, just the odd dickhead.
Sorry you had a rubbish experience with that nasty person Sole Sad

MrsjREwing · 09/10/2012 12:09

YANBU, I think people who do it have issues.

I heard when I was slim fatist comments about others in the professional workplace laughed at by others.

I heard fatist comments from a former friend about her so called friend laughing how she was so fat she broke a chair, not the chairs were so crap they couldn't hold peoples weight she was hurt.

I heard a nasty road ragers call people fat etc.

It goes on.

PostBellumBugsy · 09/10/2012 12:10

There are people who will always be rude. It could be they mock "gingers", "anorexics", "giants", "specky four eyes" "spastics" or "fatties".

It is always worth remembering that the unkind or rude comments other people make, say more about them, than they do about you.

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 12:11

Oh yes! I was called a fat bitch by another motorisy .by a fat man.

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 09/10/2012 12:17

i totally disagree with making any comments about anybody based on anything other than there actual behaviour so appearance is out (unless ofcourse you are making a compliment) but i do have personal experance of a lady accusing me of laughing at her and it was extreamly distressing to me.

over 25 years ago at about 17yo i was on a train in a station sat at one of the seats with a table a rather fit bloke was sat oppersit me and had been for awhile and we were chatting just genral chit chat but very much of the flirting type anyway he told me a joke a very basic none offensive rather childish one about foot prints in butter, and i laughed.
he then asked if i wanted a coffee and i said whilst pointing the cafe is all the way over there so you probally dont hjave enough time to grab one why dont we wait till the cart comes round.
next thing i know a lady is stood infront of me screaming abuse at me she actually called me a cunt then started yelling stuff about being large not being her fault it was medical.

i was so embarrised i couldnt even say that i hadnt even seen her let alone laughed at her and then had to spend another 3 hours on a train with other people thinking i must have done something it was quite possibly one of the most humiliating experances of my life.

as a result if i even notice a larger person i am so worrid about anything i say or do being mistaken that i tend to go quiet, i wish i could just stop doing it but for some reason i cant,before that happened i wouldnt have even noticed if a person was or not.

MrsjREwing · 09/10/2012 12:20

A weird random taxi driver tried to change lanes quickly into my lane, on Park Lane, not used to driving there and beeped him to stop, he then twisted his finger at his temple and kept at the same speed at me in his lane, when we got to lights, I pointed to him and said no you are.

To have fat, mental abuse in your mind would tell me you were scared of getting fat or being mental and you were transfering.

Quadrangle · 09/10/2012 12:21

People who would be rude to or about fat people are just nasty people. A nice person wouldn't do that

IneedAsockamnesty · 09/10/2012 12:21

oh and i broke a chair in a resterant a while ago,at the time i was wearing size 6 clothes some chairs are just crap.

AnOldieButNotSoGoody · 09/10/2012 12:23

I think yabu to think that most people mock overweight people.

The occasional cock might.

But I don't see it in everyday life.

Quadrangle · 09/10/2012 12:25

A friend of mine's husband is unpleasant about fat people. He is also racist. I'm sure the two often go together.

Hullygully · 09/10/2012 12:26

No one should ever be horrible to anyone.

Simple.

EmBOOsa · 09/10/2012 12:30

I think lots do, maybe not most. But then I know that my slim friends also get some fairly nasty comments, it seems some people think other peoples weight is fair game for ridicule.

cuteboots · 09/10/2012 12:34

YABU most people are not rude/ill mannered and would find it really offensive to call someone fat. You will in life always get the people who are only happy being nasty or running down people who dont fit in with the norm. They are just white noise and should be ignored. I have family memebers who are only happy when ripping the crap out of people and its the reason I have learnt to stay well away from them.

fotheringhay · 09/10/2012 12:36

I really hate it when people comment on someone's size - in fact I find it incredibly rude and nasty.

If only I were brave enough to challenge it, sadly though, I'm a wimp!

SoleSource · 09/10/2012 13:53

I have to take my cat ti the vets tben off to Ikea to het advice on how to assemble this cheapshit holmo lamp. I wonder of they'll be another Motber using me as an bad example to her children. Sigh, life so complex :(

OP posts:
GockandJuice · 09/10/2012 14:02

I've never heard it happen so don't know what to say! Obviously I can be at home and see a fat person or know a fat person and say comments but I'll always maintain i don't know if they have any health problems etc etc and I'd NEVER say anything about someone's weight to their face, thats awful! When i was 8stone4 which is small for me people would openly say i looked "ill" and "anorexic" and i felt pants hearing that!! Just as bad on both ends! And blimin rude!

Littlesurprise · 09/10/2012 14:09

YABU to misuse the word 'feel' like that. Don't make assumptions about others' feelings, and don't confuse your own feelings with what is actually unsustainable reactionary opinion, and is just as judgemental as the comments you yourself are whining about.

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