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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said something to this man at the pool about his baby? Or should I have said something earlier?

213 replies

TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:21

At DD1's swimming lesson today, a man got into the public bit of the pool with a 7 week old baby in just a swim nappy. The pool is at a private gym and quite a pleasant temperature for adults but too cold for an almost naked baby. I take DD2, 8mo, swimming there with a swim nappy, swim pants and a wet suit. (Possibly overkill, but she seems quite happy).

I was really unsure whether to say anything and asked another mum who agreed with me but also didn't say anything. They stayed in for about 10 minutes and then I saw them again in the family changing room. At this point I mentioned to the man that you can buy wetsuits for babies as it can be quite cold in the pool. He said he didn't know and asked where he could get one.

Should I have said something earlier? Or nothing at all? The baby didn't seem unhappy and luckily the man took my comments as well meaning advice rather than criticism. More a WWYD than AIBU?

OP posts:
alienreflux · 08/10/2012 14:15

quintessentialshadows
It is amazing how many lengths people go to in order to keep their babies less miserable just because mum wants to be "proper" middle class and take their little babies "swimming".

you don't think that's sneery and a bit twatty? if i have massively misunderstood, apologies, i'm a bit pissed off with some of the twats on MN today, but don't think i have

VivaLeBeaver · 08/10/2012 14:17

My HV gave me some guff about not taking baby swimming till its had its immunisations. I thought this over for all of about 10 seconds and then decided that the risk of dd getting diptheria, polio, tetanus or whooping cough from swimming were fairly remote.

Woozley · 08/10/2012 14:21

We took DDs swimming just after they had had first injections, wearing only swim nappies. We took them out when it appeared they were getting cold. Hmm And a massive biscuit

afussyphase · 08/10/2012 14:23

I'm going to go with YANBU. DD1 would swim until her lips turned blue and she was shivering, perfectly happily. She might or might not have had a meltdown afterwards, but that might have been not wanting to get out! Even now she lets herself get way too cold when she swims, and I don't think it's good for her. There's some evidence out there that while being too cold doesn't in itself make you (much) more at risk of succumbing to viruses (which are always out there especially in winter!), being cold and wet does. Some babies love the water even if they are way too cold, and they won't always let you know soon enough.

ReshapeWhileDamp · 08/10/2012 14:25

ShockShockShock Ten minutes?!?

Grin OP, I think this was a 'beak out' situation, but telling him officiously that you can buy expensive baby wetsuits was probably about right.

TBH, if it had been me with my own 7 wk old on our first trip to the pool, a very short dip to acclimatise the baby to being in a pool, and held close to my own warm body (as you would with such a tiny baby), I'd have been quite pissed off about the passive aggressive 'advice' but hey.

Woozley · 08/10/2012 14:36

I'd have said "Thanks, but I think it's a huge waste of money to buy a wetsuit for a child this young".

Way2Go · 08/10/2012 16:07

I'd have said
thanks for letting me know, I didn't know that. Do you know where I can get one? I am so pleased you told me as it would be fun to spend longer in the pool before the baby gets cold. You have been really helpful

It is a shame that some people look to take offense where none is intended. The guy at the pool would not have asked the OP where he could get a wetsuit if he had been annoyed.

IvorHughJackolantern · 08/10/2012 16:10

I didn't realise that taking babies swimming was middle class. I've never taken mine - does that make me lower class or posh? Def posh I reckon

QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2012 17:32

It makes you either Posh Or Chav. Wink

Posh, I think. Grin

Way2Go · 08/10/2012 18:10

I took DS2 swimming when he was 6 weeks old but he made it very clear that it was a big mistake. probably because he didn't have a wetsuit

So does that make me middle class with a posh DS Confused he is definitely not a Chav

IvorHughJackolantern · 08/10/2012 19:32

(poshly)

dementedma · 08/10/2012 21:13

Wetsuits for babies not an issue when mine were young. They swam, and I took them out when they got cold. Think its a bit unnecessary but up to the individual what they waste their money on I suppose. Even worse, when we were young,we learned to swim in unheated pools and outdoors in the sea. Now in Scotland,that is seriously cold. Amazingly, we all lived.

MerryCosIWonaGold · 08/10/2012 21:38

Way2Go. The point about middle class swimming with babies is that it's about the parents enjoying it and DOOOOOWING something STIMULATING and EDUCATIONAL and VISIBLE (to other MC parents). Doesn't matter if their kid would have just as much fun (and learn as much) sitting at home in their highchair and talking to Mummy. So your ds is neither posh nor chav. But you are clearly one or the other, or an MC Mum with head screwed on! (there are a few Wink)

suebfg · 08/10/2012 21:42

I think you were being a tad unreasonable. A costume doesn't keep you warm anyway - it's just to cover your modesty.

Woozley · 08/10/2012 23:36

How odd to think taking babies swimming by yourself is middle class, or somehow "entitled". It's just something else to do with them isn't it? So what if the parents get enjoyment out of it? Good for them. It might stop them getting depressed that day because they got out of the house with their little one.

akaemmafrost · 08/10/2012 23:41

Swimming wears babies out because its massively stimulating and it makes them sleep for ages that's why I did it. We still swim a lot and I am most definitely NOT middle class.

Greythorne · 09/10/2012 08:58

Hen I was at home by myself with a baby, no family support, very few friends around, I looked forward to our weekly swimming sessions for so many reasons:

It gave us a structure to the day
Got us out of the house
Was a great bonding experience
Was fun
I made friends there
Allowed DD1 to feel at ease in the water which has helped loads with swimming lessons now she is 5
Got her to sleep like a top because she was so exhausted

So kill me.

Merinda · 09/10/2012 11:54

Well, I take my baby swimming because I want him not to be afraid of water (like I am) and be able to swim (I cannot). Using their natural reflexes is much easier than try to teach them much later when they may not want to do it. I consider swimming to be an essential life skill and very mad at my parents for not teaching me when I was a kid.
It is also a good time to do it while I am on maternity, when I go to work I will not have that opportunity.
It tires him out and he can get a good afternoon nap afterwards, something he struggles to do as he is a bad sleeper. It relaxes him as he is not well and it distracts him from pain he is frequently in. A very therapeutic experience.

I am surprised that someone would even question this.

Woozley · 09/10/2012 14:01

Exactly Merinda & Greythorne. Excellently put.

NorthWhittering · 09/10/2012 16:22

We took DS to a free trial session when he was a baby. He fell asleep afterwards ? the first time he had ever spontaneously slept. We signed up on the spot Grin

theodorakis · 09/10/2012 16:26

You can always tell the posh ones, they are the babies weighed down because their cotton wool wrapping gets heavy in water.

MerryCosIWonaGold · 09/10/2012 19:44

theo, or because they are wearing miniature wetsuits Wink!

pongysticks · 09/10/2012 19:51

Seriously? would you go up to someone on the street if the child doesn't have a coat on and recommend where they could buy one?

These silly wetsuits and sunsuits, does anyone else play spot the british kid on holidays? they will be the ones wrapped up against the sun, the insects and the cold - Grin

we survived without wetsuits it's just marketing crap, if anything unless you are out surfing or in the sea a wetsuit in a swimming pool just creates a whole new load of faff.

Mylittlepuds · 09/10/2012 19:59

Merry I absolutely agree. I signed up DS to one of the franchise swimming lessons as other mums had RAVED about it. I will make no bones about saying IT WAS SHIT. We all went round (and round) in a circle arms outstretched, babies at the end. For an hour. My arms ached. Afterwards - despite me being there in the pool witnessing the same lesson of most of the babies screaming - another of the mums went on to bang on and on and on about it to other mums at baby group saying her 9 week old so loved it (pfft) not forgetting to mention the hefty price tag. We stopped going after the first lesson as DS was hospitalised with gastroenteritis (no they wouldn't refund our cash) and said mum still brags every week without fail on Facebook about swimming lessons. Yes I agree with those who say it's great to take babies swimming but for God's sake, just take them yourself.

Mylittlepuds · 09/10/2012 20:00

Oh and her son had a wetsuit. Obv.