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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said something to this man at the pool about his baby? Or should I have said something earlier?

213 replies

TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:21

At DD1's swimming lesson today, a man got into the public bit of the pool with a 7 week old baby in just a swim nappy. The pool is at a private gym and quite a pleasant temperature for adults but too cold for an almost naked baby. I take DD2, 8mo, swimming there with a swim nappy, swim pants and a wet suit. (Possibly overkill, but she seems quite happy).

I was really unsure whether to say anything and asked another mum who agreed with me but also didn't say anything. They stayed in for about 10 minutes and then I saw them again in the family changing room. At this point I mentioned to the man that you can buy wetsuits for babies as it can be quite cold in the pool. He said he didn't know and asked where he could get one.

Should I have said something earlier? Or nothing at all? The baby didn't seem unhappy and luckily the man took my comments as well meaning advice rather than criticism. More a WWYD than AIBU?

OP posts:
EasilyBored · 07/10/2012 20:32

Regardless of the temperature, shouldn't it have a neoprene overnappy on, rather than just the swim nappy? We've been to a couple of different pool and they all require you to have an overnappy, or at least two layers between baby bum and the water.

I bought a wetsuit thing for DS, but he prefers to just be in the swim nappy and over nappy bit. Think the wetsuits restrict their movement a bit.

I think you are bit UR.

RillaBlythe · 07/10/2012 20:32

ivorhugh, your post made me sad! In this scenario, the parent WASN'T doing it wrong. His child was not in any danger & was content. So if this had been you, you would have felt unnecessarily undermined.

BrianButterfield · 07/10/2012 20:32

DS went swimming at 7 weeks in just a swim nappy and little trunks. He was fine with a towel ready next to the pool to whisk him into. They let you know if they're not happy!

Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/10/2012 20:33

Nah , myob

DawnOfTheDee · 07/10/2012 20:33

I think YANBU. It sounds like you were passing on a 'tip' and seems he took it that way too.

Coprolite · 07/10/2012 20:34

I have to say that I agree with TheDetective and I reckon you got a very polite response given the uneccessary and uncalled for interference.

RunnerHasbeen · 07/10/2012 20:34

Everybody is fine, I would only have said something sooner if the baby had been distressed, which it doesn't sound like it was. Can't really see the issue TBH, although I don't think it was very nice to discuss it with the other mum like that. What would I have done, if I noticed? Probably gone up and asked how old, so cute, first time in the pool etc, general baby chat with the dad and if, and only if, baby was visibly unhappy I would say that DD had been the same, happier in wetsuit, not to worry or something. I wouldn't go out my way to correct him as don't think he did anything particularly bad.

Original poster
TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:34

Lots of responses.

Other mum overheard the man say that baby was 7 weeks old.

Fair enough that people think IABU. You are probably right about 10 mins in an indoor pool not doing any harm and that I am overreacting. You've actually made me feel better as I was genuinly worried about the baby, so I'm glad that people don't think there was any harm done.

OP posts:
alphabite · 07/10/2012 20:35

Seriously? Kids don't need a blinkin wetsuit fgs. It won't do a baby any harm to just be in a swim nappy. Not your concern.

ravenAK · 07/10/2012 20:35

No harm done if he didn't take offence, but I think I would have assumed that a cold baby would be a yowling baby & left him to it.

Bigwheel · 07/10/2012 20:36

Yabu, I wonder what parents did before wet suits etc ......

BarredfromhavingStella · 07/10/2012 20:36

The baby was fine, you should have minded your own. What would you do if someone came over to you & advised that you were ott with swim nappy, swim pants & a 'wet suit' Hmm

BTW a wet suit takes in water & holds it there & then your body temp heats it up a bit so you have warmish water against your skin-is that really what your baby is wearing or is it just a long sleeve/leg swimsuit?

gordyslovesheep · 07/10/2012 20:36

why on earth would you be worried about a baby that was perfectly happy and not distressed in any way ...

crypes · 07/10/2012 20:37

yanbu and when you have a baby of your own you feel so.much more protective. Years, ago when my baby was, tiny I used to see a dad with a baby in a sling in middle of winter with baby with just babygro o' and no hat. I felt so worried, about that baby so I told a. elderly neighbour who then had a word with him becos I was too cowardly.

SomersetONeil · 07/10/2012 20:38

Come on - as a Mum, you surely know that a 7-week old baby will TELL you in no uncertain terms if it's not happy! Grin

I'm sorry, but I would've thought you were a busy-body if you'd said it to me when my baby was clearly fine.

Original poster
TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:38

My baby wears this sort of thing wetsuit
I think it really does keep her warm, though it is quite restrictive. Might try her without it in future.

OP posts:
IvorHughJackolantern · 07/10/2012 20:39

RillaBlythe - I have since realised this from all of the 'wetsuits? Hmm' comments! Grin

OP, apparently wetsuits are not necessary. In which case YABU - but I still think you sounded like you did it nicely, not snidey-like.

DelhiCalling · 07/10/2012 20:39

Yanbu, you did the right thing.

Original poster
TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:39

Think the concensus is that IWBU. Luckily the man took it well.

Think I'll slink back off to Chat now. You are a scary lot Wink

OP posts:
LucieMay · 07/10/2012 20:43

I find is amusing that some people observe other people's children this closely. I don't really take that much notice unless they're screaming or something.

Greythorne · 07/10/2012 20:44

I think you are very unreasonable...but very sweet and thoughtful. No harm in being a bit concerned about a baby's safety.

I work on the principle that babies have brilliant alarm systems for letting their carers know when something is up. Cold, hot, hungry, thirtsy, tired, fed up, lonely. A gurgling, smiley, quiet baby is probably OK.

TessCowDirect · 07/10/2012 20:44

Are babies not waterproof any more?

Confused
cbeebiesatemybrain · 07/10/2012 20:45

I took both of mine swimming in just a swim nappy from about 8 weeks, they both lived to tell the tale. 10 minutes is really not very long anyway, we would usually stay for at least 20 minutes until dc started getting cold.

Original poster
TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:46

Thank you Greythorne - I've never been called unreasonable in such a nice way. Smile.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 07/10/2012 20:48

I don't think I would have said anything. But on the other hand I think you acted with good intentions and the man seemed to know you were only being helpful. I don't really agree with taking small babies swimming. I think you can catch all sorts at swimming pools. Dons tin hat. I tried it when DD was very small and neither of us enjoyed it very much mainly because I was probably a nervous wreck.

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