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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said something to this man at the pool about his baby? Or should I have said something earlier?

213 replies

TickledOnion · 07/10/2012 20:21

At DD1's swimming lesson today, a man got into the public bit of the pool with a 7 week old baby in just a swim nappy. The pool is at a private gym and quite a pleasant temperature for adults but too cold for an almost naked baby. I take DD2, 8mo, swimming there with a swim nappy, swim pants and a wet suit. (Possibly overkill, but she seems quite happy).

I was really unsure whether to say anything and asked another mum who agreed with me but also didn't say anything. They stayed in for about 10 minutes and then I saw them again in the family changing room. At this point I mentioned to the man that you can buy wetsuits for babies as it can be quite cold in the pool. He said he didn't know and asked where he could get one.

Should I have said something earlier? Or nothing at all? The baby didn't seem unhappy and luckily the man took my comments as well meaning advice rather than criticism. More a WWYD than AIBU?

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2012 08:48

It is amazing how many lengths people go to in order to keep their babies less miserable just because mum wants to be "proper" middle class and take their little babies "swimming".

DelhiCalling · 08/10/2012 08:50

Yanbu. I took dc swimming without a wetsuit and he got cold and cried. I bought a wetsuit like the ops and he stays warm. My experience is that they work. I'd rather spend twenty pounds on one than risk a cold baby, do all you wetsuit critics bathe your babies in cold baths too? Babies do get cold you know and most pools are less than the 35 degrees recommended for babies, hence a wetsuit is essential.

QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2012 09:06

"do all you wetsuit critics bathe your babies in cold baths too? "

Dont be ridiculous. Babies need a bath. They dont need to go to the pool! (Even if mum does Wink )

Have you never heard of mixer taps? Grin

hazeyjane · 08/10/2012 09:12

Delhicalling, a wetsuit is not essential unless your baby gets really cold, and is starting to turn blue or screaming the place down.

I took ds swimming from a really young age because it was one of the few times he seemed to be happy (big screamer due to reflux), it made me feel happy to be doing something happy and positive with him and as it turns out it was great for him too because he has low muscle tone.

I hate the idea that doing things like swimming or singing groups are only done by middle class mums out of some sort of show offy, middle class angst - it's bollocks. I have done all sorts of activities with all 3 of my dcs and have met all sorts of people from all walks of life, all having a nice time doing stuff with their dcs, what the fuck is wrong with that!

halcyondays · 08/10/2012 09:22

Seriously?! I don't think I've ever seen a baby in a wetsuit at a pool, and most of the ones I've been to have probably been chillier than the one you were at. I've only seen them in swim nappies and ordinary swimsuits or trunks.

crackcrackcrak · 08/10/2012 09:26

Yanbu. I think your commenters helpful. Though the baby doesn't suing distressed I am tired of seeing blue babies in swimming pools when you can get a wetsuit quite cheaply.

MerryCosIWonaGold · 08/10/2012 09:28

crackcrack, blue babies in swimming pools Shock

that sounds dreadful

I've never, ever seen one!

trixymalixy · 08/10/2012 09:38

I agree wetsuits are not essential to take a baby swimming as long as the pool is warm enough. I've taken my two swimming every week since they were very small, they are now 3 and 5 and only once has it been cold enough that we needed one but in that case it did work.

And here we go with the sneering, most babies enjoy being in the water, the Mums enjoy taking their baby swimming and in my case it got me out of the house and gave me something to do as I was really struggling with my mental health on my first mat leave. What exactly is wrong with that and what do you feel you achieve by sneering? Does it make you feel superior in some way?

QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2012 09:41

Who is it nice for, if the children are turning blue and screaming?

Or the children are cold, and miserable, and rather than giving up on the idea, people try to force the issue forking out on wetsuits? If baby is miserable, why keep trying?

LadyMargolotta · 08/10/2012 09:41

If the baby was happy, then he/she was clearly warm enough.

My children are on the skinny side, and even though I had a long sleeved top for dd2, she would shiver in some swimming pools, and believe me, that is very obvious.

trixymalixy · 08/10/2012 09:43

Read my last post. Only once in 8 years of swimming has the pool been a bit cold. The rest of the time no one was blue or screaming, the rest of the time we loved it.

CommanderShepard · 08/10/2012 09:54

Weirdly, the council pool we go to is a hell of a lot warmer than the pool we do Water Babies in. Never mind my baby; I get cold in the latter!

And I agree with trixy - bugger off with the sneering. My daughter loves swimming and I get to have a conversation with other adults. I'm not seeing a problem here.

Startailoforangeandgold · 08/10/2012 10:48

WTF Both DDs swam from tiny in our local pools. No baby pools and not particularly warm. You just don't stay in too long.

saintlyjimjams · 08/10/2012 10:51

You couldn't even get wetsuits for babies when mine were small and the 2 youngest are still at primary (ok maybe you could get them when ds3 was small, but as I'd had two older ones who had survived various pools without them I didn't bother).

alienreflux · 08/10/2012 10:53

poor git, i know how he feels!! i never considered that a swim nappy would not be ok when i took both of mine to the pool from around 8 weeks, in just swim nappies!?? the baby pool is always toasty, and i even now thought wet suits don't actually keep you warm?!
It just shows you don't get ta bloody manual, so how are you gonna know? but then, mine loved it, and never felt cold, so who's to say you are right anyway?
you're intentions were good though, and luckily he didn't mind or he could have told you to swim off!!

alienreflux · 08/10/2012 10:56

quintessentialshadows miserable blue babies WTAF are you on about??!! my kids LOVE swimming, you obviously can't be arsed to take yours so make it all sneery and cruel. twat.

Treaclesmart · 08/10/2012 10:56

He probably feels rubbish now and he was having a nice time with his little baby :-(
I think you were unreasonable. Mine never wore wetsuits and were never blue!!

klmnop · 08/10/2012 11:02

You don't need to wait until a baby has had its immunisations to go swimming. I took my little girl for lessons from 10 weeks old and the youngest in the class was 5 weeks. These aren't lessons in the shape of teaching strokes (lol) rather a set of tasks and techniques which help them and parent get confident and comfortable in the pool.

In answer to the OP's question YABU. I always think, unless someone is breaking rules, it's best to say nothing!

SamSmalaidh · 08/10/2012 11:03

I don't think the OP said anything nasty, she didn't criticise, just gave him some information! It would have been different if she'd said "it's too cold for your baby, you should get a wetsuit".

I got a wetsuit (not a long sleeved swimming costume, an actual little sleeveless wetsuit) for DS as a baby as he gets cold quickly and our local pool is not toasty warm. The first time I took him he didn't cry, he just shivered and his lips went blue. Anyway, he was quite happy in a wetsuit until he was about 18 months - though he still gets cold quickly now.

However, if this bloke was only in the water for 10 minutes and the baby didn't complain, chances are it wasn't too cold.

QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2012 11:16

allienreflux, why do you take my post personally when I am talking about babies who are clearly miserable in water? Yours love swimming you say.

So do mine, they are 10 and 7, and we are in the pool once or twice a week for the last 4-5 years....

I have seen enough parents with tiny shivering babies with goosebumps and blue lips, sobbing in the water. I dont see why on earth they need to do this, when the mum and baby pool is nice and warm, but small. Oh no, they go in the big pool, which is cold, and where people are swimming lengths in the lanes! To whose benefit do they do this? Hmm

QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2012 11:21

I have re read my posts on this thread, and I really fail to see that I have said anything that justifies calling me CRUEL, SNEERY and TWAT.

Confused

Care to explain your comments, alienreflux?

Numberlock · 08/10/2012 11:31

Reading this thread, my 17 year old sons should be thanking their lucky stars they survived going to the swimming pool as babies in just a pair of trunks without wetsuits, snorkels or whatever else you have to wear these days!

theodorakis · 08/10/2012 13:06

Sorry but he probably told this story to his friends and I bet they all laughed.

And what Mrskeithrichards said, every last letter.

theodorakis · 08/10/2012 13:07

What did the Police say?

theodorakis · 08/10/2012 13:10

I am sorry, I hate sneery MN repliers as well but really and truly....did you think people would be posting shocked faces? If so, maybe you are a bit naive and a nice person rather than a judgy supermum.