...to ask DCs school to have a 'no play fighting' rule in the playground

[Nottigermum]

I posted a similar question in primary education, but I just people's honnest opinions about this. My DCs primary school doesn't have any clear rules about play fighting in the playground. I see it at drop off in the mornings, many boys (and some girls) play fight, and it often ends up as one or more than one children getting hurt. One of my kids is often hit, kicked, even smacked in the face - he does participate in the play fighting, and I have to say, I really don't like it and have spoken to him many times about staying away and not getting involved etc but I know he still play fights (and often gets hurt, including having a red hand mark on his face after school because another boy smacked him very hard).

I know that some schools have a strict 'no play fighting' policy in the playground. Do people think it's a bit OTT - that play fighting is normal behaviour and it should be fine in the playground? Do children really know when to stop, or is it too much to expect that a 5 year old will be able to play fight one minute, and then stand in line nicely without pushing a moment later? Or as a parent, are you happy that your school does or doesn't have that rule? Teachers maybe?

And finally, would I be unreasonable to push for the school to have a no play fighting rule in place?

No, but things that are should not be banned IMO.

I assume the OP says playfighting rather than just fighting because it starts off as a game rather than as an escalation of a disagreement. Those of you who didn't realise she meant hitting, kicking etc have obviously not spent time in a school playground observing the way some children play. When a child then complains about something another child has done to them, the other claims they were just playing.

I think all playing should be banned unless its Under adult supervision and regularly inspected by ofsted.

Don't be so bloody daft.

There is a difference between play fighting/rough and tumble and a very fine line between bullying.

Seen it happen at our school. Play fighting has been banned simply because a small group (small school) went way over the top and pupils were being punched hard in the chest, kicked hard between the legs, thrown to the ground and stamped on, all in the name of play fighting. One child even took it upon himself to whack a 2yr old at pick up, full in the chest.

Kids should be allowed to have fun, but, if it gets out of control, then yes, it should be stopped.

How can you ban play fighting, it's play? If a child is being kicked or punched that's fighting and its stopped.

I work in a school and do playground duty so that's what I am in about.

There seems to he a misconception. Many children are capable if role play fighting without getting hurt or hurting others. Bullying or fighting is different and very visible to playground staff.

at the idea there are primary schools that have no control over their pupils and seem to think that's ok.

Banning it defeats the purpose. Children need to learn by doing and if that means that sometimes things go to far and children get hurt then that's all part of growing up. How can a child learn cause and effect if they never get to experience it first hand?
Hurting other children and being hurt by other children is a natural part of learning.
Banning it will just create more problems.

thebody other option is to have 1/3 of the school sitting on a bench during break and not letting them play at all. These kids are seriously in danger of hurting another really badly.

Some children aren't capable of play fighting without it descending into real fighting though

Well at least that would be trying to teach them something magicoc.

True catgirl

I can't belive some of the comments but just will say I am eternally glad I was a kid in the 70s and 80s.

We were allowed to play, interact, socialise and learn very valuable lessons without parents and teachers leading or instructing our play.

No wonder British kids seem the most anxious and unhappy in europe( think that was the UNICEF report recently.

A people have said something along the lines of "play fighting got out of hand at our school, so rather than deal with the children involved in incidents of fighting / bullying and try to teach them how to behave properly, we just banned play fighting"

Which sounds like "we have primary school children we can't control and don't think that's something to actually deal with" to me.

Play fighting doesn't just have to happen at school. Invite all the children in your neighbourhood round for a rumble in your garden.

I think the difficulty is in the definition of what playfighting actually is.

As catgirl said, it seems to be in the intention of the one who is doing the hitting. Is it done to harm or not? Mostly in 'play' fighting, the intention is to harm even if it is only pretend harming (playing superheroes or whatever) as opposed to anger. I think the level of supervision required to discern this is ridiculous. Someone would have to be looking directly at the children, rather than relying on the 'he hit me', 'but we were just playing' etc. etc. It is hard enough to police it at home with my 2 boys, let alone a whole playground of kids.

And I don't understand what playfighting is if it doesn't involve hitting or kicking. What sort of contact is it? Just wrestling really.

And for most kids its fun!!

I agree with you merry - that's why I think play fighting should be something enjoyed somewhere other than school and then parents can have the joy of sorting it out when it goes tits up.

So if the rule is it's ok for anyone to hit or kick anyone else in the playground whenever they want, how do you define bullying?

Can bigger kids hit smaller kids.

Do they have to stop if the other child cries - or will this produce accusations of being wimpy and precious and cry-babies?

Are you going to encourage the hittee to tell on the hitter - or will that be telling tales?

I don't understand how fighting (as in actually having full contact) could be ok with parents - except with the parents of the bigger more "enthusiastic" kids who are never hurt .

Well I am a TA and have 4 kids. I have no problem whatever in sorting out play fights from bullying and intervening if needs be.

I do playground duty and our school has no problems that way tbh.