Men are bad ladies are good

[Joiningthegang]

My 3dc had a school assembly where they talked about what to do if you get lost.

Please bear in mind this is the translated by the kids version.

If they get lost they should find a lady - preferably who has children, then other ladies, then men, because they arcane be bad.

Aibu to be cross that my boys aged 6 and 4 are being given negative messages about being male. I am also cross that this sounds like "stranger danger" again when children are far more at risk from non-strangers.

Sooooo - aibu to send an email to the head (and suggestions of how to say it much appreciated.

DS isn't even 3 and can easily distinguish a policeman from someone in a black suit. I don't think that would cause too much trouble for most children.

I don't doubt it BUT...if you say "a uniform" it can mean...a shop assistant, a nurse, a security guard, an ambulance man/woman, a soldier....."a uniorm" is too ambiguous and "find a policeman" is too unlikely.

I still don't think it would be an issue for most. Uniforms really aren't that hard to notice.

Surely bigfatlegs suggestion of which uniforms would be recognised would all be good

Yes gang a man in a shirt and tie can look "official" to a small child. Its important to rememember that children are very literal...look at the recent thread where an 11 year old girl got on the wrong bus...and didn't ask the driver for help even after it stopped, because the sign said "Do not speak to the driver"

If i told my 4 year old to "point out someone in a uniform" she'd possibly point out all kinds of non officials....and she's bright and articulate.

I try and teach my 3 year old dd, if God forbid she gets separated, to stay where she is and mummy or daddy will find her. It's fine to ask a stranger for help but don't go anywhere with them.

My son got lost in town when he was about 6.
He saw a man wearing the same work uniform that he had seen me wearing so approached him. He didn't know me but took him to the shop as management would have my details and be able to contact me.
Lucky for me this man didn't ignore him for fear of being labeled some sort of child snatcher and lucky for me my son hadn't been taught to fear unknown men.

I've found a screaming lost child in a shopping mall. I'm a big white bloke; she was a small Asian girl.

I knelt down beside her, and did the are you alright darling bit, and got the lost mamma thing.

I wanted to take her to security, and turned round to some random woman and asked her to come with me. As it happened, she was Asian, and said she was busy. I explained what it was about - and she realised it might look a bit odd, a screaming Aisan child with a white man, and she came with me to Security. Parents tapped up and were very happy.

I'd rather kids asked adults for help; they are more likely to get help from someone with kids, whether or not they have them with them.

NAPPIES I say that too...I say to stand stll and scream MUMMY over and over...I figure that it's safer to be VERY visibly lost...so lot's of people see rather than just one person and of course, then I may hear her too!

My sister recently lost her 8 year old DS on Oxford Street. He walked too fast and was engulfed. It was only the fact that a very tall man saw her distress and stood with her for a moment before spotting the little thing up ahead....he was in a Man United top and the man saw him alone about 100 feet away in the crowd.

In this day and age surely it's possible to attach a simple tracker to dc ?

And then use your smart phone to locate them.

Maybe add a remote control to the whole shabang.

The main uniform wearing staff in my city (Liverpool) is beauticians/sunbed assistants. Police travel in Matrix vans .

They haven't been told that men are bad, just to make them their third choice.

If you were aware of how many abusers are in society (100+, mostly male, in most inner city areas), then you wouldn't feel such outrage.

I agree that the best thing is for children to make it known (noisily) that they are lost, so that they cannot be taken off by anyone.

I'm sorry, but men just are statistically more likely to be a danger. It's sexist, certainly, but it's true.

Sure, some women abduct kids, but far less often and usually with less grave consequences.

I think you've gotta decide what's more important to you:

1. Being PC
2. Improving the odds of your kids being safe.

That is hardly comparable Puddle...people get in cars daily. They don't lose children daily.

I guess we don't often have a choice of car drivers. But a lost child can easily choose the person who will statistically be the safest to help them.

In a situation where we did have a choice of car drivers, the comparison would be valid. Suppose for some reason your child can travel 100 miles down the M1 on a school outing in the back of a 48 yr old female's volvo estate, or in the back of a 17 year old Burberry-cap-wearing male's souped-up underlighted Vauxhall Corsa? Which will you choose?

I think telling them to look for a shop, or an adult with children is the way to go. I would also add that they shouldn't get into a car or go into a house with anyone. It is difficult, as any lost child is at risk of all sorts of things, its working out what are the biggest risks and minimising those!

To answer the OP I would email the Head. He might not realise how the assembly was interpreted by the children.

MrsBethel my understanding that the most common instigator of child harm is new DPs of mothers. By quite a long way.

Does that suggest, statistically, that if you are single parent you shouldn't have a new partner?

Seems very sad for the millions of separated/divorced/widowed people.

I think speak to the school about message they are trying to get over and then point out the error in rhe words they are using. For my 3 year old it will be speak to the people at the till in the nearest shop you can find.

No.

A new partner adds a load of positive stuff to the equation, which probably dwarfs the safety considerations.

When it's only safety that is the concern, safety determines the choice.

I've said to my ds if he gets lost in a shop to find someone behind the counter who works in a shop or a woman with children (think I actually said pushchair). Bad of me, I have no problem with it being a man, but chances are there would be many more women with pushchaiars and it makes ths message more straightforward for my 5 year old. I have also said he is under no circumstances to leave the shop, no matter what anyone says or who it is - if they say I am just outside or whatever, that I will always come back IN for him. I know I have missed loads of loopholes :(

but, but MrsBethel I'm sorry, but men just are statistically more likely to be a danger. It's sexist, certainly, but it's true...I think you've gotta decide what's more important to you:1) Being PC 2) Improving the odds of your kids being safe.

So, there are a lot of things which outweigh the safety then?

You mean like possibly leaving a child screaming for 20 minutes because they are too scared to ask a male passer-by for help, or said male passer-by is too scared of over-reaction from other people?