Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

The teacher keeps refusing to let my Yr1 DS go to the toilet

86 replies

BupcakesAndCunting · 04/10/2012 15:50

At the end of school.

We have a ten minute walk home and he is always bursting for the loo when he comes out, so was one of his classmates today. He was near wetting himself by the time we got home.

DS says that the teacher won't let them go apart from at break times. AIBU to think that this is harsh, especially on 5 year olds who are constantly drinking from water bottles all day. I was thinking of having a word about it.

OP posts:

NoToastWithoutKnickers · 04/10/2012 15:52

That's ridiculous. At the end of the school day it's not up to the teacher whether or not a child goes to the loo. I'd just march in with him and take him to the loo.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 04/10/2012 15:55

Your poor ds :( no that is not right!!! They are small children and if they need to go then they should be allowed to go. It's not good for anyone to constantly have to hold it and humiliating for those who just can't. A child will not concentrate or participate in a lesson if he's that uncomfortable and desperate! I'd definately be having a word!!!

Annunziata · 04/10/2012 15:56

He should maybe not be drinking so much then- it must get disruptive if he's wanting to go all the time. But if he needs to go, he needs to go!

NatashaBee · 04/10/2012 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SCOTCHandWRY · 04/10/2012 15:56

Well, I'd make the point to the HT and the teacher that kids are hardly likely to be learning effectively if struggling with a full bladder.

5yo is still very young - they may not have needed to go urgently at break... encourage him to go to the loo at the end of every lunch break even if he doesn't think he needs to go, even if he's not likely to remember to do it!

nickeldaisical · 04/10/2012 15:57

at the end of school you should take him to the toilet on the way out.
do you have to collect from the gate or are you allowed into the school building?

Purple2012 · 04/10/2012 15:57

I would definitely be having a word too. That's not on.

slartybartfast · 04/10/2012 15:58

i would go in with him and have done with dd when younger, and wait outside loo, so if you are questioned, you can explain you are walking. doesnt seem right to me

LauraShigihara · 04/10/2012 16:03

Is he mistaken, though? Does he think, because the teacher has specified breaktimes, that a hometime wee is not allowed?

I'd have a word tomorrow - actually I have had a word because DS needed to go after school in Y2 and parents weren't allowed in the building so I couldn't send him.

The nice Y2 teacher always made sure he had a visit before he came out to meet me in the playground.

Original poster

BupcakesAndCunting · 04/10/2012 16:05

I don't think he is mistaken (but will clarify with teacher) because he said that he asked to go before hometime today and he was refused, and his little mate backed him up! Then he also said he'd asked to go during a lesson on another day and the TA had said he had to wait.

OP posts:

drjohnsonscat · 04/10/2012 16:07

Our school does this with reception age children and it's not right. They can only go at break time. If they go in lesson time it's deducted from their break time so seen as a punishment anyway. It's not right for such young children and even my very very camel-like DD (5) had an accident last year as a result (and I was hauled in from work to sort it out). I would have a word - I wish I had.

longjane · 04/10/2012 16:10

well what i had to was send them back in to toilets before we when home as we had a 20mins at least walk home .
just send them back in and have a work with the teacher

LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/10/2012 16:14

She's going to be stepping in a lot of puddles, then, isn't she?

It just sounds cruel to me.

TerraNotSoFirma · 04/10/2012 16:18

That's not on, worth having a chat about it with the teacher I would say.

I have heard about some schools/teachers being quite strict about going during class, but they surely can't stop them using the loos after class before walking home.

PunkInDublic · 04/10/2012 16:18

YANBU. Can you stress to your DS he must "have a try" at breaks and lunch time even if he doesn't feel like it and make sure teacher knows you've done this?

Even if he's drinking a litre an hour and not going during lunch you cannot stop a child going for a wee! That never ends well. As someone who suffered with kidney infections as a child I cannot stress this enough.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/10/2012 16:18

I think you need to establish exactly what goes on at the end of the day and when your ds is asking to go. If he's asking to go when the class is putting their costs on and the teacher is about to lead all the children out, I can understand why she said no. I wouldn't want to let a Y1 go through to the toilet just as all the other classes are coming out through the corridor in the opposite direction at our school. I'd be more than happy to hand him over to the parent and let her take him in though.

I have also made children wait to go to the toilet. Especially when it's in 5 minutes into PE, they have all been reminded to go more than once already and they are asking two seconds after I have just allowed their friend to go. In those circumstances (which seem to be a regular occurrence in R/Y1) I will make the second child wait until the first is back so that I know they aren't going to start messing around and chatting in the toilets because I want them back in the lesson ASAP. For all I know there are children in my class complaining that I made them wait to their parents, but I also know that they can't be busting because they chose not to go when they were asked 5 minutes before.

Sokmonsta · 04/10/2012 16:22

I'd take him back in before walking home. Our school encourage the children to go at the beginning or end of break time to minimise class disruption/messing about in toilets. But they don't refuse them if they genuinely need to during lesson. Dd had an accident today because she was so engrossed in her activity she didn't realise until it was too late. Teacher was lovely about it, more bothered that dd was upset than the accident.

vodkaanddietirnbru · 04/10/2012 16:38

When mine need the toilet after coming out of school, I go back in with them and they go to the toilet in the foyer near the school office. If we are further away I would take them into the toilets of a nearby cafe or supermarket.

naturalbaby · 04/10/2012 16:42

Ds's school have just introduced water bottles and said in the letter that they accept there will be a settling down process where children drink too much then need to use the toilet more.

I'd have a word with the teacher and ask her to be more understanding. If it's that much of an issue then they should be watching how much water the children drink and not penalising the children.

cheekybarsteward · 04/10/2012 16:49

Is he yr1 bups? Just checked with DD yr1 and she said they just have to put their hand up to go. Reception they didn't have to ask.

nickeldaisical · 04/10/2012 17:24

I remember being refused permission to go to the toilet in 2nd year infants.
I couldn't make it back to my own seat so I sat in the nearest seat and weed.

I couldn't hold it in any longer (I'd already been holding on because I was too scared to ask the teacher, so I was pretty desperate by the time I asked. And I even waited in the Reading Line to see her )

nickeldaisical · 04/10/2012 17:25

okay, my embarrassing admission was to point out that if that happened to DD, I would have to go straight into school and complain, because I'm still embarrassed about it now - 30 years later.

(but I know it wasn't my fault - it's that feeling I had I can remember)

LindyHemming · 04/10/2012 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chopstheduck · 04/10/2012 17:29

Send him back in before he goes on, and speak to the teacher before making any assumptions.

It could be that he is just asking at inconvenient times. My eldest son in infant school would also disappear off to the toilet whenever he felt like it and spend ages in there to get away from the class!

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 04/10/2012 17:32

YANBU, please say something. 5 is still very little and I would be very surprised if this is the real rule.

Saying that, it was the rule when I was 4/5. No one was allowed to go to the loo outside break times and lots of children wet themselves because of it, including me :(

Flip

1 2 3 4