to not send my boy to nursery because of the little girl's abduction all over the news.

[YesAnastasia]

It's not that I think it will happen to him but it's on my mind, on all the news and everyone's taking about it and it makes me want to have him sat on my lap 24/7. You can't help but imagine what if it were you, can you?

Nursery seems disorganised at best at the moment and I just want to keep him at home for the rest of the week. Is that bad?

Lueji - you only have to look at the child protection register to see that there are a very many children at risk in their own homes.

One of the first things I was told on my very first child protection/safeguarding training is that it is dangerous and misleading to teach children stranger danger because sometimes a stranger can be the safest person.

Yabvu two different scenarios

Funny, I'm not a royalist but the Diana thing and the way the RF were bullied by the public into showing their grief to the people probably made me support them form the first time ever.

Thank Christ I'm not on Facebook anymore, I can just imagine the anguish from some people regarding the missing little girl.

Ephiny I'm not hijacking anything. I felt insecure & clingy (for whatever reason...) and I needed a tough mumsnetter to tell me to get a grip. They did. Some went way over the top attributing thoughts and feelings to me that are completely and utterly wrong.

And Diana has nothing to do with it. It's like going into a random thread and saying 'from what you've said I can see that you're one of those hideous people who pulls the wings off live flies, yes you do & it's disgusting, isn't it everyone?'

FolkGirl - it is still advisable to teach Stranger Danger and it is certainly NOT dangerous to do so.

What I think you mean is that it is dangerous to only teach Stranger Danger and not talk to kids about keeping themselves safe in ANY situation.

I have told my kids about their 'sixth sense'. That it doesn't matter who they are with, if they feel uncomfortable being around someone, for whatever reason, they must tell me. Even if that means that we get a phone call at 2am asking to be picked up from their grandma's then that is what we would do.
And no-one is ever to touch them in the places that is covered by a bikini or swimming trunks. Those are their private areas and if anyone touches them, even if it is someone they know, they must tell me.

There are still a lot of sickos out there, including strangers, who will stare at children's playgrounds, who will flash young girls, who will offer children lifts, who will follow children. Not teaching them stranger danger would be quite irresponsible imo.

Oh and as for OP, I agree with MrsDeVere's first post. This tragic event does not impact on you personally so don't try and jump in on someone else's grief and pain. It will not do you or your son any good whatsoever.

I see the OP has already taken that advice on board. Good for you.

I don't think anyone's attributing your feelings to the Diana thing.

Although when you've started a thread and then it takes off a bit it becomes a bit difficult to detach yourself from it and every comment becomes about you personally (been there!). Because you were gone for a while, the conversation/debate continued and moved away from your initial question quite quickly because you weren't here to respond.

I'm glad you decided to take him to nursery.

What are the things you're concerned about there? Are they things that you can address with them?

"No place is 100% secure.
A determined criminal will get there if he/she really wants to. No matter how secure a nursery is."

Lueji Yeah, thanks for that.

Yes Rhubarb, what you said. I didn't make that clear.

I hope you were not being sarcastic.

The fact is that we can't protect our children from everything.

And, unfortunately, bad things happen to us and to them.

The good thing is that it's very rare for really bad things to happen.

Ha Lueji that's what my dh says when he leaves all the gardening tools in the garden and forgets to lock the back door. I have to remind him that there is no need to actually make it easy for the criminal and that a burglar is far more likely to attack a less secure house with all the right break-in tools at his disposal in the garden, than the locked and secure house up the road.

Same probably goes for nurseries. An unattended child on the street is obviously an easier target than one who is in a locked building with numerous other children and staff members.

It's disorganised because they are in the process of changing nursery teacher. It's been something different everyday, his behaviour (but I found later they hadn't listened to him) he managed to escape the nursery building into the main school & I wasn't told, they hadn't put on his wellies & he was completely soaking through his shoes & socks, one day he had a half hour tantrum & I wasn't contacted. Loads of things that make me worry. I'm hoping it will even out once the teacher settles in.

There are no other school nursery places in my area so if I stop him going, he misses nursery altogether.

Oh dear!

I'd keep an eye on that then.

The wellies and behaviour thing are just unfortunate/oversights/happen occasionally.

The getting into the main school is a bit of a safeguarding issue. When you found out about it, did you speak to the nursery staff about it? I'd have wanted to know how it had happened and what they had put in place to stop it from happening again.

Although I appreciate that if it was a while ago it would make it difficult to bring it up again now.

If it was quite recently, you could say that you've been thinking about it (don't mention the news though) and still ask the questions.

Ha, yes I won't be mentioning the news again to anyone any time soon.

I can address it all with the new teacher as none of this happened 'on her watch' so I can just express my concerns.

Yes, Rhubarb, but we can only make the criminal's life more difficult. There are only so many precautions we can take.
That's my point.

Anastasia, your concerns about nursery are valid, but they should be independent of what happened to this girl.

Oh I so agree with Mrs Devere.Not talking about the OP here, but I just don't get the mass hysteria and stuff that is going on around this case. It is all very sad and worrying, and I do listen with interest to see if there are updates, but facebook is imploding so much that I have logged myself out.

We have the Find April Jones fb page that everyone seems to have subscribed to that is coming up on MY newsfeed, full of "share her picture on your status-don't get why myself, everyone in the country knows what she fecking looks like . Then people driving from MILES around to go and "search" for her, when the police have specifically said that they have people to do it.Local people I get, they know the area etc, but people have driven from London,Scotland etc etc.It's just ghoulish IMO.

And then we have the "perfect" bloody parents-who are repeatedly and smugly, blaming the parents, cos THEIR child would be tucked up in bed at that time, and even one person went as far as to say, that if the parents had looked after her properly, she wouldnt have been taken .

I really hope that she is found safe and well, but some people really need to get some perspective.

I think social media in this case is a good thing. It's the fastest way to get the message across to a wide section of people and imo the police have done well to embrace it.

I have not liked the facebook page nor looked at any tweets, but I have posted a description of the Land Rover Discovery that the suspect was driving along with the police appeal for information on tracing his movements and have asked friends to re-post it on their own Facebook walls and tweet it. I may not know anyone in that part of Wales, but if enough people pass the message on then it may reach someone who can help.

Luckily you can always opt out of mass hysteria of this kind. You can unlike Facebook pages, you don't have to look at tweets and you can hide Mumsnet threads.

The only news source I trust is the BBC and I don't get these people who post Sky updates as fact. On the only April thread I've contributed to someone posted that the police had found something because Sky said so. That turned out to be false. In the end I stopped contributing because it did actually feel wrong once everything had turned into a game of whodunnit with posters analysing the mother's appeal.

That's human nature though isn't it? And perhaps a way of dealing with the shocking and horrific, by turning it into some kind of game that isn't real. Same with blaming the parents, because somehow people find it easier to digest news of parental neglect and abuse than abduction by strangers. Considering the possibility of evil strangers willing to abduct children would make reality far too scary for them. That's why there are still people who suspect Madeleine McCann's parents of killing her. Because that thought, no matter how horrific, is easier for them to comprehend rather than the terror of someone actually breaking into an apartment to steal a child.

I'm sure psychologists have a field day with all this reaction.

Funny how thse shy and nervy posters....
Suddenly aren't .

As it happens I do severe from an anxiety disorder. A diagnosed one.
So I know about that stuff.

Yes I am angry too. It's perfectly proportional :)

What's your point? Suffering from an anxiety disorder entitles you to give someone else suffering from irrational panic a good handbagging? Care to explain the logic there?

I think keeping him off nursery all week shows a slight lack of proportion - a day would be more understandable. I just wonder what messages he will pick up from it ? If he's settled and benefiting from the experience then he should usually go IMHO (and as someone who works in early years) If you're not going this week I hope you have lots of other fun and interesting things lined up to do instead ! Hope you both have a good week

Well I would if that was my point.
But it isn't
Whsts yours?

I'm afraid I'm with MrsdeV and others on this one.

People do seem to get much more invested in news stories these days - probably because there is so much info and comment available on the Internet, so people feel much closer to it.

But I think we do need to remember that it is happening to someone else, not to us, and that it is much more sensitive to simply say 'I'm thinking of those poor people' rather than almost trying to share in their emotions by saying 'I'm devestated' or 'I'm terrified for my children'. I've seen people say they have spent all day crying over stories of missing children or accidents or illness, and I do generally think 'Really? All day? Did you really?" I get a lump in my throat sometimes, or a bit wet-eyed but I can't imagine crying all day over anything that wasn't much closer to home, to be honest.

I'm completely with you there kungfupanda ... Yes, especially since having the DC's a lot of things will bring a brief tear to the eye. DS is always laughing at me - when I cry at Tracey Beaker or Horrible Histories or something ...

... But we also have our own lives ... and as parents we have the job of raising our children. Crying all day about something in the news or keeping your child off nursery for a week all seem a bit OTT to me