to not send my boy to nursery because of the little girl's abduction all over the news.

[YesAnastasia]

It's not that I think it will happen to him but it's on my mind, on all the news and everyone's taking about it and it makes me want to have him sat on my lap 24/7. You can't help but imagine what if it were you, can you?

Nursery seems disorganised at best at the moment and I just want to keep him at home for the rest of the week. Is that bad?

MrsDeVere has said it perfectly.

I would understand if you were thinking twice about letting your child play outside (and btw I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with doing that at all) but if you are seriously worried about nursery security then you should have been worrying about that before anyway.

No, I'm basing what I say on what she actually wrote, rather than leaping on the condemnatory bandwagon.

For heaven's sake, most abuse & most abductions happens within families or circles of friends.

All this stuff about not letting your kids play out or not letting them sit on anyones lap, apart from family - doesn't make sense.

It is one of the last taboos and the NSPCC has a devil of a job knowing how best to deal with it and politicians don't want to touch it with a barge pole - but you are more at risk from almost any crime from your own family, than a stranger!!!!!

Well said post

there was a VERY good blog linked to last night about how it is much better to teach your children to ask permission from their parents before going anywhere with anyone than to tell them not to go with strangers. It made some very good points about why 'stranger danger' is a very bad thing to teach children.
I'll see if I can find it.

I am perfectly capable of being moved to tears by the sadness and tragedy afflicting others. I think most of us can. I remember Dunblane and the tragedy of James Bulger as being particularly hard to process.

But what I don't I understand is posting something entirely from the position of how it affects you. It's like the appearance of empathy with actually no empathy at all.

My dd lost a friend when she was at nursery. Poor boy was diagnosed with a brain tumour and didn't survive more than a few weeks. In the middle of his treatment, actually the day of his main operation a mother from nursery rang the mother on her mobile to weep. The mother ended up having to comfort a relative stranger on the day that her son had an operation that seemed likely to signal the end of his life.

I don't get it at all.

Had a look at the thread in chat, it's a bloody car crash. Think they think this is an episode of Midsummer Murders.

Duelling, it was called dealing with Tricky people iirc, very good advice.

Indeed. Compassion and empathy are one thing. That thread in chat is downright ghoulish. I'm not sure who are worse - the amateur sleuths or the misery vampires. They're all having a lovely time by the looks of it anyway.

Begonia it's awful , one Poster in particular is living on that thread, barely pausing for breath.

tricky people are the new strangers

Having posted I have re read the thread and MrsDeve said all of that better.

I read the post by porcamiseria Thu 04-Oct-12 13:16:09
every few years something HORRIBLE occurs, James Bulger, Madelaine, Sarah Payne

yes, let us not forget that every week in the UK a child dies of child abuse, the stats are horrendous

And thought she must be making it up. Sadly she is not and pocamiseria I'm sorry for doubting you

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/massive-fall-in-child-abuse-deaths-linked-to-new-protection-policies-2278997.html

duelling I'd be really interested in that link - that's exacty what I was trying to explain to my 4 year old yesterday - they must never go anywhere with anyone, even Aunty X, without telling the grown up who is looking after them first.

FWIW stranger danger doesn't worry me - plus it does appear she didn't go with a stranger.

It's a very difficult world when you have to be more worried about your nearest and dearest.

Great link thank you duelling

Link is over here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1578988-Tricky-People-Its-the-people-your-dc-know-not-strangers-that-pose-the-greatest-risk

pag I have had to do that dozens of times.
You walk away bemused 'what the hell just happened?'

It's hard enough having to tell each new person what has happened but for them to break down on you, to sob and wail and tell you how terrible it has made them feel...it's just horrible.

I have had reactions ranging from 'aww you have made me feel all sad now' to people literally collapsing.

The collapsing people are not relatives or even close friends. And I have never forgiven them.

Imagine having a child in such a high profile case. Half the population blaming you and the rest trying to take ownership of your child.

That poor family

At first I thought YABU. As the two have no connection. But on the other hand if you are worried about laxness at the nursery and level of care then YANBU to be concerned if you think your child is not being properly looked after.

oops sorry - I'm a bit slow, duellingfanjo's already done it (and better too!)

I agree that we cannot wrap our children up in cotton wool - I will still deal with my children in the way I see fit (we live in a busy street so in fact traffic is my main worry not abduction) but I would welcome proper information being taught to children both at school and home about not going off with ANYONE, I am still not sure a child as young as 5 would remember that if they knew someone well., especially a family member or close friend

"My dd lost a friend when she was at nursery. Poor boy was diagnosed with a brain tumour and didn't survive more than a few weeks. In the middle of his treatment, actually the day of his main operation a mother from nursery rang the mother on her mobile to weep. The mother ended up having to comfort a relative stranger on the day that her son had an operation that seemed likely to signal the end of his life."
You aren't seriously likening the OP's posts to this sort of behaviour, are you?
I think the OP has been vilified as a result of rightful disgust at the ghouls operating elsewhere. Which is an example of the mob mentality at least as unattractive as the threads being criticised, frankly.

Empathy is only a wonderful thing if you use it.

Feeling empathy can't be helped, but outpouring, handwringing and sharing do fuck all.

I'm off to donate my quarterly pint of blood this afternoon. I do it because that good lady up thread Mrs DV told me too I don't MrsDV, I can't comprehend what her life must be like. Nor to I have the right to try. But because of empathy I can damn well spit in a bottle and pop it in the post and go to the blood bank 4 times a year.

Tragic things happen to people every day, and your life poodles along fine.

Take your son to Nursey tomorrow. Then drop something off at a local food bank, donate money to the nspcc or something.

You can't help that little girl, but you can help someone.

Err, no.

I posted as the thread evolved commenting upon people who personalise other peoples tragedy.

If I had been comparing the op with the woman in my story I would have said so.

I think you might want to throw your accusations of mob mentality at people who are saying things to the op to commenting on her behaviour.

I don't know mrs dv, sorry

KarlosKK, I agree that some of the suggestions that the OP has an anxiety disorder or should take herself off to her GP are unnecessary - but there is bucket loads of common sense being talked on here, as well as reasoned discussion about how to view risk in a measured fashion & not have the wits scared out of you by sensationalist jouralism. Your comments about mob mentality are unfair, IMO.