you know what is actually disgisting? do you?

[SheelaNeGig]

a cat dribbling right inside your ear.

Revolting.

One of my cat drools on my pyjamas. And claws my shoulder, so I have a patch of fishy cat dribble, with a shoulder that looks like I walked into a thorn bush under it. Sho shexy.

It's not as worrying as a 7 stone entire male labrador getting "overexcited" when you are sitting on the floor though, at his level.

What the hell were you doing to get rabbit jizz in your eye?! boak

OMFG I feel sick! Why, oh why do I open these threads?

The worst thing that happens in my house is if the hamster poos when he is having a cuddle with DS2, he picks it up in his mouth and puts it in DS's hand!

I am trying to remember to be honest.
He was a nice guy. I think it might have even been...sorry pagboy was late but we had to assist the dog with a reluctant shit..
I can remember realising I couldn't lie because ds and I would never manage to coordinate a story.
A dog that can't shit was a particular low for the Pag family though.

Love these stories

My mum's dog has a special cushion (we call it the humping cushion). She drags it onto the floor, play fights it for a bit, then she has to get the special corner of the cushion in exactly the right place (if you get my meaning), before much humping commences.

What gets me is that my mum STILL has this cushion on the sofa like a regular cushion - when we all know what it is and where it's been

I am weeping with laughter at twinkly quality street shits, and lametta-mini poo garlands! Thank you.

We should post them on the first frugal Christmas thread.
Economical really.
Feed your dog all the horrible quality street the week before Christmas and you get a festive garden for free

We used to have a cat that got raging stiffies just from lying on my lap and having his head stroked (no, not that head - don't be disgusting.) It was horribly obvious - black fluffy cat, huge pink willy. And, yes, he did come all over me.

No, a dog farting on your knee and leaving a damp patch is disgusting...

My son has 'Bear in the big Blue House' cuddly on his bed. Which is regularly humped by the cat..he straddles it and holds it down with his teeth and gets busy!
Poor bear.....

Medusa - that reminds me of the line from Friends, when the monkey humps Rachel's childhood toy, and she says, "Let's just say, Curious George is curious no longer!"

Festive Shit Garland!

Oh god, this thread is making me howl and boak alternately! :o

My pets all seem to get inappropriate erections

Big Dog also had a habit of eating the peel off lids from yoghurts. We'd then find them nicely furled sticking out of piles of dung in the garden.

I sometimes have to pull looooong wiry grass from my dog's arse, covered in turdy lumps. Exactly like an old fashioned string of sausages.

My otherwise restrained and conservative cat used to make love to feather dusters.
You couldn't leave one anywhere for fear of it being violated.

Jasper the Persian With Attitude was banned from the living room whenever green olives were on the menu after the time he sat watching DH munch his pizza, and actually shoved his big fat paw (at the speed of light) right in DH's mouth to hook put the last green olive being currently consumed.

DH ran around in a state of apoplexy, yelling about the paw in his mouth having previously been in the cat litter and demanding some kind of instant mouth disinfectant to be concoccted forthwith.

But I couldn't help cos I was helpless with a bad attack of the giggles.

Jasper carried on munching the olive imperiously giving DH rolly eyed "I see the pleb is getting above himself" looks.

OMFD at the "coming cats"

I'm slightly put off my affectionate male cat now!

I remember that thread Page

I remember that thread Pag

Suocer His big fat paw! That's one feisty mogggy! This is why I love cats.

Oh fuck, I did not manage to stop the first one posting with my typo

Sorry. No. You do not get to drop something like that into the conversation and walk away.

I'm asking.

Along with probably everyone else on the thread

Spill.

You know how people say they nearly spat coffee all over their computer because they're laughing so much but you know in reality they probably just chuckled a bit. I ACTUALLY just had to spit my tea back into the mug, missed a bit so some of it went all over the laptop and nearly choked. Laughing so hard I'm crying and eyeing my dogs and cats VERY warily.

...especially the kitten who has a habit of trying to stick her entire head in my mouth...