you know what is actually disgisting? do you?

[SheelaNeGig]

a cat dribbling right inside your ear.

Revolting.

[Lueji]

My cat doesn't drool.

[oldraver]

Our cats drool, they cosy up to you usuallu in bed where you cant escape and you see the pool of drool getting bigger and then there is the swish...and you are covered in drool.

Also had the tinsel out the bum as well as string

[Anonymumous]

Ha ha ha - love the story about the dog sneaking up behind ex-boyfriend and licking his balls!!!

I've just remembered that we used to have two female rabbits - a dwarf one and a huge lop-eared one. The big one used to grab hold of the little one between her back legs and subject her to all sorts of indignities. Mind you, she got a taste of her own medicine when the guinea pig took a fancy to her...

[cozietoesie]

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a Labrador in the same way again.

[Queenofsiburbia]

Oh & meant to say that I genuinely got giggles so badly when reading this in bed last night & couldn't control my shaking & snorts. DH woke up in a grump & said 'why are you crying?'.

He was not in the right mood to explain to so I had to stop reading & pick up again this a.m. Got giggles again.

[Queenofsiburbia]

Friends came to stay with their lovely little skinny, ugly terrier who they'd said might try & hump our dog but 'it's a dominance thing, it'll pass after a short while'.

This terrier was the randiest, most frustrated little fecker in existence. It abused our spaniel puppy (only 5months old then! Oh and male) for the entire weekend without let up so poor little devil spent entire time racing round house & garden, tail between legs & looking over shoulder in abject terror.

This thing was so randy that because it could never quite catch our dog for long enough, it would jus carry on humping thin air standing there.

Omg so gross watching someone else's dog do humping motions.

Eventually it did get satisfaction, on it's own, all over our kitchen floor. I'm heaving just remembering.

Friends kind of laughed about it .

I got the mop out.

That dog is never staying here again, our poor spaniel was so traumatised by the weekend.

Why don't they just chop its balls off? It would be 200% improvement on a dog that literally only does shagging..

[SomewhereInCanada]

This thread is fecking genius. Keep going!! ....

[foofooyeah]

Siocera, I am crying with laughter the image of that cat swiping the olive and your Dh insignant reaction

[Proudnscary]

God I am now terrified of my cat (and PISSING myself laughing).

He did come in to my bedroom at 4am (hence why I am lying here wide awake MNetting) soaking wet, jumped on my chest and covered me in mud. But at least he didn't sexually assault me, come on me or piss in my ear.

[Cheeser]

My hamster weed in my ear once. Nowhere near as bad as most of these

[FairPhyllis]

I have had a tortoise attempt to shag my feet. I suspect it may have been fed something suspect as it was surprisingly fast and frisky for a tortoise.

[dondon33]

There was a dog lived across the street to me when I was about 8/9, he was a huge German shepherd, and every time I came out of the house he would make a beeline to hump me :(

Thing was though (obviously my reaction must've been to turn away from him) he used to actually bend me over, keep one paw firmly over my shoulder, while kind of crossing the other over my back and off he'd go... The 1st time it happened he must of been drooling because my mum thought it was a very different substance present on the back of my T shirt :)

[weegiemum]

We regularly "rabbit-sit" for a friend.

Hard to answer the question from an 8yo "why is the bunny jumping on my leg......."

[Devora]

And I had a very traumatic incident at the age of 12 with my friend's granny's Jack Russell. It scarred me for life. Though not as badly as it stained the antimacassar.

[Devora]

Am I the only one reading this with a terrified cat wedged half under the sofa, watching me in alarm as I snort and wheeze my way through the posts?

Anyway, my cat likes to wake me up for breakfast (5am, according to her) by lying on my chest and putting her paws on either side of my face. Sweet. Loving. But the other day I woke up to her HOOKING something off my ear and eating it.

What the hell was it? It's been haunting me ever since. I probably need to seek advice on a MN spider thread...

[MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden]

"a friend" had to fish out an unflushable poo from their hosts toilet. That was disgusting.... Apparently.

[grumpydwarf]

I think I can win this my large now deceased dog ate half a deer, a used condom and a used tampax during his happy life. The worst was the tampax that got stuck on the way back out his bum with the string hanging out!!

[Freshletticiaandslugs]

Hee hee I forgot this 'till now, but me and a very long-ago ex boyfriend were taking advantage of a peaceful secluded field to have a naughty shag when he suddenly looked at me and said 'oh that's so good, how did you do that?'
Turns out my dog had sneaked up behind him and given his balls and probably his arsehole a good slurping.

[Freshletticiaandslugs]

Oh helpless laughter @ festive shit garland and twinkly quality shits.
Also the goosing after shower dog.
My neutered cat also sticks his willy out during a tummy rub. The best thing though is that he stick his tongue out as well and closes his eyes like he's really enjoying it

[ProzacTheGiggleFairy]

We used to have a cat that would hump our feet when they were under the duvet. It usually happened in the middle of the night & we'd awaken to a grunting noise & a stupid moggie grinding away over our feet........ The next thing would be the shout of f*ing cat & he would go flying across the room.

[SuoceraBlues]

Iatemyskinnyperson

[CakeBump]

Iatemyskinnyperson that just made me lol!

[caramelsmadfuzzytail]

I bought a furry tail keyring when I was on holiday once (not real) My cat decided it was ideal humping material, so I bought another one and left him to it

[Anonymumous]

Awww Gruffy, we used to have a cat that did the ear-lobe sucking thing too! (I loved it - he used to sneak up to my bedroom when I was little, wake me up by jumping on the end of the bed, and then start making sucking noises as he crept stealthily up to my ear. To a seven year old, that kind of thing is magical and not disgusting at all! )

[Gruffy]

Howling at this thread!

I used to have a cat that used to try and suck my ear lobe and dribble but that seems a bit boring now!