To think other mothers should keep their traps shut

[zozzle]

My kids usually arrive in the primary school playground for second bell or a few seconds later (first bell goes at 8.45am to tell kids to go leave playground and go into cloakrooms and hang bags up etc, second at 8.50am to announce start of lessons). Not ideal i know - my poor excuse is that I'm not a morning person. My kids are doing well at school and we've only ever had one late mark in 4 years.

I can just about tolerate jokey comments from mothers about "getting a move on" etc. but one mother actually said in all seriousness, on an occasion that I was earlier, "This is the first time I've seen you in the playground at the same time as all the other parents". WTF!!

Does anyone else experience this and if so how do you respond? .

YABU.

They've got their kids out of bed on time, and are trying to teach them organisation and it's wrong to be late, then you and your DC's come bumbling in late everyday? It would annoy me!

Just like when I was at school, a girl in my class used to have days off school when her parents took her to the theme park/her birthday etc. How can you teach your DC's something when they have a terrible example in front of them everyday!

Speaking as a habitual deadline surfer I wouldn't judge you at all - but neither would I take offence about being teased about the fact that my DCs always often go up to class after the rest of their form mates. It's not a big deal, but it's true, and if someone takes the piss then I wouldn't be offended any more than I would if someone mentions that I'm wearing my favourite necklace for the seventh day in a row.

I find it really odd that people a) notice b) care.

It's not as if you're arriving 15 minutes after the bell and disrupting things.

I think you should take it in a light-hearted way. Don't think most parents would make a comment like that as one to be taken as a criticism. But also it could be a case of "if the cap fits wear it" - maybe you are only being annoyed because you are being told the truth?

Sorry, probably harsh - but you do just need to leave home earlier. DW has been doing the school run for nine years now and hasn't ever been late despite living a good half an hour's walk away!

I would say something to a persistently late fellow parent but that's because I'm a former primary teacher, and from experience I find any amount of lateness to school extremely rude on the part of the parents, and totally inconsiderate to the children, who arrive flustered with no time to chat to their friends. A grown adult should be able to get to a place in good time, no matter how early it is.

I think a psychologist would say that being late means that unconsciously you don't value who you are being late for or, you need to feel that you are so valued that they will wait for you. Its only polite to be on time, it implies that you value those concerned enough to follow social courtesies like being on time.

And you are setting your children up to learn that its ok to be last minute and disorganised. Skills that help get you on in life aren't all academic ... emotional intelligence/other life skills gets you a long way too ...

If the school asks that the children are there for 8.45 to hear the first bell and you aren't there then yabvvu, regardless of late marks.

As a perpetually late person, I always recon I deserve the odd comment.

I've been trying to better since I was about 10 and failed to cycle to Guides on time.

CailinDana Why would you say something as a fellow parent?

I agree its not a great to be arriving at the last minute for all the good reasons mentioned, but it's the teacher that should be saying something if it needs to be said.

Because I'm raging busybody.

I see.

I am always only just in the nick of time so I do have some sympathy but I always make sure my DC are there to go in with the others. If the other children have taken their coats off, settled down and are sitting at their tables ready to start on the second bell, then your DC arriving on the second bell or one minute later WILL distract them. They will not concentrate on the teacher with activity going on around them, as your children take their coats off etc. Yes they will not get a late mark as they are there for registration but it is not fair to the other children or even yours.

You need to arrive a few minutes earlier.

Agree with others that say you are setting your kids up to be late in later life.
Seriously leave 5 mins earlier.

Ok so the other kids start hanging up their coats etc at 8.45am and are then sat at their desks and ready to start the day at 8.50, which is when your kids rush in and start hanging their coats or whatever so they are presumably coming in to the class room a few minutes later than everyone else. Maybe not late enough to warrant a "late mark" but enough so that about 2 minutes of every morning could be lost or disrupted due to your children's late arrival. If this woman's children are in the same class then that could be 2 minutes of their day, every day, which is disrupted by your children's late arroval

So that would make it her business then

Maybe it bugs her that you swan in after the bell.

Many of us are not morning people, it's not an excuse to be repeatedly late.

If you are consistantly this late (or scrapping in on time) then you can be consistantly early or on time by just setting your alarm clock 10 minutes earlier! Go on shock the other Mums :)

I think saying you're not a morning person is code for you're a bit lazy and don't really care if your kids have a flustered start to the school day. Sorry, but leave the house a few minutes earlier. Lateness is rude and you're teaching your kids that it's OK. It's not.

I hate being late - I really do. The other day I had a slight emergency, and I ended up almost being late to pick the boys up from school. I walked at psycho speed with my pram for over three miles and just made it by the skin of my teeth. But I was purple and panting and sweaty with the effort, and a bunch of other Mums the sort with 4x4s who live a ten minute walk away and who think that legs are just things to put expensive shoes on obviously thought this was frightfully amusing - pointing at me quite openly and laughing. So YANBU to want other Mums to keep their traps shut. But YABU to be late every day.

Actually I am a morning person, I'm still always late for things because I'm just disorganised and easily distracted...

I doubt it's anybody's business what time you get your kids to school. The only reason someone would comment is to make themselves feel superior to you.

Yes most of us do manage to get out of the door on time and deliver our kids to school before the bell goes. Whoopee. It's hardly something to feel superior about is it?

The people who annoy me the most are the mums who turn up early, shove their kids out of the car and drive off to work leaving the kids unattended in the playground. That affects me personally because these kids then run riot and start playing footie with a heavy leather football that has actually knocked a child out. But still they do it.

However OP, bear in mind that if you are getting comments from busybody superior mums then your children may also be getting comments from other children.
Get all the stuff you need together last thing at night, even down to putting cereals in the bowls. Put all bags and coats in the car so you're not looking for them in the morning. Get alarm clocks for the kids. Then all you have to do is shovel breakfast in them, get their teeth cleaned, faces washed and then they are out the door.

If anyone says anything to you again however, just say look them in the eye and say "oh yes, I so wish I was super organised like you, I don't know how you do it, you must feel so superior to the rest of us!" and then walk off.

Op YANBU to resent the snide comment (if that's what it was), but YABU for being late to school every day. I have a friend who has 2DC and they are always late for school, parties, activities, meeting friends etc. Friend is lovely, but her kids get really stressed and upset about always being late. Friends wonders why when they go to parties etc her kids are always so clingy - it's because they arrive 30 mins after everyone else and feel self-concious and shy. Strangely my friend is never late for work - must think that's more important than causing her kids to be stressed.

i used to get loads of really snidey comments and some outright rude ones,all because my dc's used a different entrance and had different start/finish times to the other school kids.

it made school easyer for the kids (all not just mine) staff but apparently lots of other parents took exception to it, so it was harder for me. tho why those parents felt the need to still be there despite requests from the school i will never get my head round

THERhubarb If anyone says anything to you again however, just say look them in the eye and say "oh yes, I so wish I was super organised like you, I don't know how you do it, you must feel so superior to the rest of us!" and then walk off.
Good comeback! I was always super disorganised, although never late when my 2 ds were at junior school, now they are secondary which is 15 miles away they arrive 30 mins early and I must say they do prefer it as they have time to chat to friends etc.