To think other mothers should keep their traps shut

[zozzle]

My kids usually arrive in the primary school playground for second bell or a few seconds later (first bell goes at 8.45am to tell kids to go leave playground and go into cloakrooms and hang bags up etc, second at 8.50am to announce start of lessons). Not ideal i know - my poor excuse is that I'm not a morning person. My kids are doing well at school and we've only ever had one late mark in 4 years.

I can just about tolerate jokey comments from mothers about "getting a move on" etc. but one mother actually said in all seriousness, on an occasion that I was earlier, "This is the first time I've seen you in the playground at the same time as all the other parents". WTF!!

Does anyone else experience this and if so how do you respond? .

Yes, she should mind her own business but there is always someone who will add their two penneth.

You do have my sympathy. I have always struggled with being on time for work. No problem for meeting someone for lunch though! A very wise friend of mine said it is a control issue (i.e. I had a very busy quite stressful job and it was the one part of the day I could control). Have no idea if this is true.

Do try to make the effort to get there earlier. People do notice. I have no tips for putting it into practice other than having a strict timetable (i.e. get up at 7am, breakfast until 7.30am, shower/get ready until 8am, leave house at 8.15am, get to school by 8.45am, etc.).

Best of luck!

Yep, I guess she is the most organised morning person I know (known for it), so just in time/lateness will get her back up then won't it!

That would piss me off too. How rude.

Does it affect the other kids, when yours rush in? Seems odd that it is important to be on time for work, but not for school.

Someone said this to me one day too.

I cannot abide lateness. I used to be the type of person who was late for everything. Then once I arrived 10 mins late for my DS's play at nursery, to find that it had started slightly earlier and I'd missed it .

I will never forgive myself.

From that point on, I made the decision that I wasn't going to be that flakey person anymore, I was going to be on time. For everything. I am now never late. It is possible to change... if you want to.

It would annoy me to receive these kinds of comments but actually it would make me 'get a move on' if I was one of the last to get there

When DS2 started school his best friend was always strolling in just before 9am, (should be there at 8.50 am) I was too polite to say anything to his Mum but wish I had found a way to say something because she genuinely spent the first term thinking that 9am was the time they should get there and couldn't understand when the report showed dozens of 'late before registration' marks

As someone who is also not a morning person I get everything sorted the night before. That way I don't have to think too much in the morning.

Ignore the comment. You don't get regular late marks.

I think in RL eventually yes you do say something (though not sure why your almost lateness affects the woman who said it - could understand it more if it was the teacher). I have a friend who is so appallingly organised she is never on time, never allows enough time for travelling etc and for years we'd make a sort of joke about it but eventually I did make a rather pointed comment and she was taken aback - being late is infringing on others' time and suggests that you don't value their time as much as yours.

I met quite a few mothers like you when I did the school run.

It is a bad example to set your kids; I always left early enough so I could safely park the car, and walk 5 minutes to get them into school safely and on time.

In later life, they may get problems.

If you turned up - just a few seconds late - repeatedly for one of my meetings, you would be under disciplinary sanction. It is discourteous - extremely - to everyone else.

Quite a few "late mums" also parked outside the school gates, too - as they didn't want to be late.

I mentioned to one she really shouldn't park in that hatched area, and was told to mind my own business in no uncertain terms. I smiled sweetly at her a few days later when she got ticketed following my complaints to the Traffic office. As did a number of other parents.

I don't get it. You are always late. She mentioned it. You get all upset about it but it's true isn't it?

Sounds like she was just passing the time of day.

You've had one late Mark in 4 years. Therefore in the schools eyes you have been "late" once.

It's none of her business and inaccurate anyway. Ignore.

Crikey, I can't see how she was being rude. You are late everyday. Its just one of those throwaway comments. I can't see where saying that automatically means she's judging you. You sound a little over sensitive to me. Is it because you feel guilty about taking your dc to school late every day?

I've gotta say though, I'm not a morning person either, but I make the effort to get dc in on time. If everyone arrived just after the second bell it would take ages for the lessons to actually start.

Oh no you can't start being on time now, she'll think she's won I find it a bit cheeky tbh, non of her business what time you roll up is it?

It's the way it was said, not what she said. If she said it with a smile and little laugh fair enough, she said it accusingly by the sounds of it?

The dcs are on time Noqontrol, she's only had 1 late mark in 4 years.

You don't like someone pointing out something true? She wasn't rude.

I always feel sorry for the kids whose mums/dads are always late or the last ones. I always feel they have a sad look on their face.
In fact, was it me who said it to you, I wonder?

It doesn't sound like the op is always late to me. Arriving on time by the skin of her teeth, but not actually late seeing as she's had only one late mark in 4 years!

My word, there are some cats bums faces on here this morning!

OP, if you've never had a late mark then you've never been late. And how rude for another adult to pull you up in the playground. What in the name of Jeff has it got to do with her?

Next time give her a freezing look and say 'Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you were actually a teacher! Are you going to put my name in the naughty book?' and sweep off.

Yep cat bum faces everywhere this morning. Its like a judgy festival!

You'd be amazed at the amount of dcs who strolling way after the last bell at ds2s old primary. That school was too soft about it though. Not that I'd ever pass comment.

I bet she has a hen arse mouth doesn't she op? There was a few of those at the school gates when I had to go, thankfully dss are both at comp now.

There were a few.

I have M.E/CFS and mornings are my worst time. I feel like shit, groggy and ache like mad from walking up hill to the school.

I still get my DS there on time, every day so your "i'm not a morning person" excuse is crap and YABU.

Leave 5 minutes earlier so you are there on time. If it has been 4 years of this I am not at all surprised that the other parents have noticed.

I get it. It's not what people say, it's how they say it.

"was said in all seriousness - like she was telling me off/making a point."

^This.

Someone could have said it in a nice / jokey way and it wouldn't have got your back up.

FWIW I just had a 22 year old stay with us for a couple of weeks who thought it was her job to tell me things like how to cut toast FSS! (I'm not far off twice her age! I've eaten more toast than she's had hot dinners!) I took her comments in a good spirit at first, but it quickly became clear that there was a lot of judgement going on behind them.

People who think it's their place to tell you how to live your life are annoying in the extreme!

There's not a lot you can do about them AFAIK, unless you're good at throw-away one-liners. They're so convinced their way is the only way! Just try not to take it too seriously. (Easier said than done I know!)

So leave 5 mins earlier!?