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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want dd to take the morning off school?

96 replies

littlemisssarcastic · 02/10/2012 09:17

DD has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning. She has regular appointments at the hospital for her eyesight (approx once every 6 weeks).

I was going to take DD out of school for the morning, since her appointment is at 11.15 and along with picking DD up from school, I have to travel to the hospital too so I will need to make sure we have enough time to travel there.
The school want me to take DD into school in the morning and pick her up at 11am!
Is it so bad for DD to have the morning off?
DD is 4 btw and has just started reception.
I get the strong impression that the school will not be happy at all if I don't take DD in for the morning. Sad

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 02/10/2012 09:20

I can see their point if this is a regular, ongoing thing, but 11 for an 11.15 appt is not enough time ! Could you pick her up at 10.30 ?

vodkaanddietirnbru · 02/10/2012 09:21

I'd just write a letter and hand it in advising that your dd will not be in in the morning and will be returned to school after her appointment. I dont ask for permission for appointments, I just let them know what is happening and when they will be back to school - it's up to you, not them!

vodkaanddietirnbru · 02/10/2012 09:22

p.s. for an 11.15 appointment I would usually put them into school and then pick them up some time before the appointment. It means they dont get marked down as being absent too.

Floggingmolly · 02/10/2012 09:27

If it will really only take 15 minutes to get her to the appointment, then yes, why would she have the entire morning off?

TroublesomeEx · 02/10/2012 09:30

But will it only take 15 minutes to get there?

It depends on where you live in relation to the hospital.

I would usually take them in for registration at the very least.

honeytea · 02/10/2012 09:50

Yanbu it seems daft taking her in for an hour then picking her up again then back to school in the afternoon.

Maybe you could request an early appointment next time so she can go first thing and then go directly into school.

Pavlovthecat · 02/10/2012 09:52

keep her off for the morning, get her to do some reading with you, or practice her letters.

nailak · 02/10/2012 09:53

if the appointment is at 11.15 I would want to be there by 11, not still waiting in the office for my dd at 11.

Original poster
littlemisssarcastic · 02/10/2012 09:57

It's probably me being lazy Blush.
I was trying to avoid doing the school run 4 times. Grin

I think I'll tell school I will pick DD up at 10.30, which should give me enough time to get to the hospital on time.
Hospital is approx 8 miles away.

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 02/10/2012 09:58

if the appointment is at 11.15 I would want to be there by 11, not still waiting in the office for my dd at 11

Yes. Especially when they aren't necessarily sitting in the office waiting for you when you arrive to collect them.

TroublesomeEx · 02/10/2012 09:59

How are you getting there littlemiss?

What's the traffic/public transport/parking like?

Just don't cut the time too short.

scootle · 02/10/2012 10:01

Do it this once - so you don't get a reputation. Often helps to look like you are doing what the school wants. Thereafter, try to get an appointment for 10 so that you don't have to bother.

Lancelottie · 02/10/2012 10:02

They think you can do 8 miles in 15 minutes including parking??

At our hospital it could take 15 minutes to find a parking space, and another 15 to trot down the corridors to the right spot.

Original poster
littlemisssarcastic · 02/10/2012 10:02

Am getting 2 buses to get there.

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 02/10/2012 10:03

God, don't let the school dictate to you! You don't have to ask permission, work out what's convenient for YOU and then tell school you are picking dd up at such and such a time.

Agree with folkgirl, allow yourself plenty of time even if that means her missing a morning of school.

Pavlovthecat · 02/10/2012 10:03

you are getting two buses? don't send her in for sure!

Hopeforever · 02/10/2012 10:04

It seems the first half of the morning, especially Monday mornings seem a key time in a primary school day as it sets the scene for the whole day. I can see why the school have said what they have

It's just as a parent you seem to spend the whole day walking up and down the school drive :)

Dancergirl · 02/10/2012 10:04

2 buses?? Then DEFINITELY take her out for the morning. Why stress yourself, suppose the bus is late etc?

GobblersKnob · 02/10/2012 10:07

At four I would have just been telling the schol what time to expect her. Though if they felt it was disruptive to bring her back at a particular time I would have heppily kept her off all day and that would be the limits of my flexability.

megandraper · 02/10/2012 10:10

She doesn't even legally have to be in school at four.

I would do whatever is least disruptive for your DD and yourself. The school will cope.

Original poster
littlemisssarcastic · 02/10/2012 10:11

If i pick DD up at 10.30, we can catch the first bus at 10.40, which should get us to the connecting bus for 11. That bus will get to the hospital at 11.10am.
It's cutting it a bit fine but the receptionist at school was very 'catsbum mouth' about DD being collected before 11 anyway, so not looking forward to changing the time I collect DD. Sad

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 02/10/2012 10:12

I'd be interested to know how the school think you're going to make it there in time for your appointment if you don't pick her up until 11am! Which as we all know means she won't be with you until 11.05 and then she's only small which means she'll be walking to the bus stop slowly/inefficiently...

My daughter's last hospital appointment was at 11am at a hospital 9 miles away. The school told us to stay at home in the morning and not to bother going in.

However, if you're going to have to go every 6 weeks, then I would make an effort to request earlier appointments in future.

The school are just wary of her missing a half day every few weeks. Because the morning session is when the literacy/numeracy stuff often happens in and planning/learning is progressive during the week. I would imagine that's what they're thinking about.

TroublesomeEx · 02/10/2012 10:14

What will happen if the buses are delayed (you know, with public transport not being all that reliable).

Will it really only take you 5 minutes to walk from the bus stop to the correct hospital department (must be a tiny hospital!).

A lot of times, you have to get there 15 mins before the appointment time anyway, particularly where children are concerned, because they like to keep to the appointment times and it prevents delays.

My children have both been seen at 3 different hospitals, in different departments over the past few weeks and in both occasions we had to be there at least 15 mins before the appointment time.

I'd want to pick her up at 10.

WorraLiberty · 02/10/2012 10:17

There's obviously been a misunderstanding regarding how long your journey will take.

But I would pick her up about 10.20am.

To be honest, as long as she's got her morning mark in the register I don't think they'll quibble over what time she actually leaves.

Original poster
littlemisssarcastic · 02/10/2012 10:26

I thought DD didn't have to attend school because she's only 4, and honestly didn't think it would be a problem, but receptionist made it clear that 'as it's a medical appointment, they will allow it.'

Mind you, this is the same receptionist that told me that xp would not be permitted to pick up DD from school, regardless of whether he has parental rights. This was a privilege only reserved for the main carer in separated families.
I politely pointed out that it was 'parental responsibility' and that legally the school couldn't prevent him from picking DD up, he does not need my permission since there is no injunction etc on him. Receptionist told me I was wrong until headteacher confirmed it for her.
Maybe school receptionists aren't expected to know these things? I don't know what to expect anymore tbh.

OP posts: