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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want dd to take the morning off school?

96 replies

littlemisssarcastic · 02/10/2012 09:17

DD has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning. She has regular appointments at the hospital for her eyesight (approx once every 6 weeks).

I was going to take DD out of school for the morning, since her appointment is at 11.15 and along with picking DD up from school, I have to travel to the hospital too so I will need to make sure we have enough time to travel there.
The school want me to take DD into school in the morning and pick her up at 11am!
Is it so bad for DD to have the morning off?
DD is 4 btw and has just started reception.
I get the strong impression that the school will not be happy at all if I don't take DD in for the morning. Sad

OP posts:
Mabelface · 02/10/2012 23:53

Just wanted to add - the receptionist is not the one with authority to say yes or no. That comes from the head teacher. Phone in the morning and inform.

Zipitydooda · 03/10/2012 00:09

You are perfectly correct in your reasoning. I would copy and paste it in a letter to the school along with something that expresses how stressed you have been made to feel by the way you have been dealt with by the school.
It seems like a power hungry receptionist with no thought of other people's feelings going way beyond the responsibilities of her actual job.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 03/10/2012 00:18

It's a pita trying to have them in when you have to travel by public transport to hospital. Dd was attending hospital appointments once a week for a long time and her appointments for clinic were usually around 1.30, she always wanted to be in school for the morning which was fine for 1.30 as I could pick her up at the beginning of lunch and she'd have a packed lunch on the train. If the appointment had been at 11.30 she wouldn't have been in school during the morning and she wouldn't have been back by the afternoon either. The school would have had to lump it. Dd's medical appointments come first.

If I were you I'd ring early tomorrow morning and hope you get an answer phone. Explaining that your travel plans have changed and your dd will not be in school until after her medical appointment.

piprabbit · 03/10/2012 00:23

Take your DD to school. Walk round to reception. Settle down with a good book.
At 9:30am walk up to the desk and say "I'm here to collect my DD".

If you have a flask of coffee, all to the good.

littlemisssarcastic · 03/10/2012 08:06

piprabbit
I am going to do exactly what you have suggested, minus the flask because I don't have one. Grin
Thank you to everyone for all of your advice. It has been very helpful. I will try to arrange future appointments for earlier/later.

OP posts:
januaryjojo · 03/10/2012 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frostyfingers · 03/10/2012 08:38

Hope the appointment goes ok for you. I wish you luck trying to arrange appointment times to fit in with school. My DS has monthly visits to the hospital dentist, and has done for the last 3 years and it is almost impossible to get them at a sensible time for school - earlyish, lunchtime or late afternoon. The receptionists look at me as if I'm mad when I ask for them, and the school spend all their time complaining about how long it all takes!

We are currently on appointments before 9.30am which is amazing, but no doubt that will change soon and we'll be back on mid morning ones. The hospital's other speciality is to confirm in writing, then 24 hours before cancel - that has happened so many times it's almost expected now.

OrangeLily · 03/10/2012 22:36

Was the appointment today? Did you do that? I'd love to have seen you sit there nonchalantly

frostyfingers · 04/10/2012 08:48

Ha, I must have tempted fate. DS's appointment for Monday was cancelled yesterday (2 days after receiving the confirmation letter) and put back a month.

littlemisssarcastic · 04/10/2012 14:13

DD had her appointment yesterday. I dropped her off at the classroom as usual, then walked straight round to the office and explained I was there to wait for DD.
Receptionist joked and said 'Don't you have a home to go to?' Blush
I said 'Yes, but I prefer to wait here, since it's not worth walking home only to turn around and come straight back again.'
I duly sat and waited, and at 9.30, receptionist then went to collect DD, so we didn't leave the school until 9.45.
We managed to get to the appointment on time, but only just and afterwards, I took DD for some lunch, before dropping her back at school for the afternoon.

So...for next time, the hospital are going to post my appointment.
Next time, do I just tell the school what I am doing, rather than wait for them to tell me what they want me to do wrt picking DD up/times etc?

OP posts:
nickeldaisical · 04/10/2012 14:28

I'm just imagining getting to our hospital that is 8 miles away.

I would normally drive, but for an 11:15 appt, I would leave my house no later than 10:15.

you need to pick her up at 10 - don't take any chances if you are going by two busses!

nickeldaisical · 04/10/2012 14:30
Grin

you only just got there on time, and I love your style Grin

WelshMaenad · 04/10/2012 14:32

Yes. Just tell them what's happening. Don't disclose apt time, travel arrangements - just when she will be arriving at school. My notes to school are generally thus:

"Dear teacher,

MaenadDD has an appointment with her consultant paediatrician on the morning if 4th October, she will not be present for registration. She will be arriving in school for 1pm afternoon registration. She will not require a school lunch on this day.

Yours,

Maenad".

Nothing else is any business of the receptionist!!

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 04/10/2012 15:50

Yes, just tell the school what you are doing be it taking your DD in late or getting her out of school early.

My DS1 has regular orthodontist appointments and I never ask his school permission to take him out. I inform them that he has an appointment and he'll either be in school late, or I need him to leave school early. In your shoes I would have kept DD off all morning, to hell with school and their quota's, your daughters health is more important than 100% attendance rates.

Zipitydooda · 04/10/2012 18:58

Also communicate with her teacher rather than the receptionist.

Woozley · 04/10/2012 19:00

Fab, OP, just fab.

goldenlula · 04/10/2012 19:45

I Wrote a letter to the school last week listing the appointments that ds1 and 2 have this term (1 for ds1, several for ds2). I will then tell the class teacher what time I will pick up or let the office know if they will not be in/back before or after an appointment. I did also show them the appointment letters.

Pavlovthecat · 04/10/2012 20:07

brilliant!

littlemisssarcastic · 06/10/2012 09:50

Thank you everyone. ≪takes a bow Grin ≫
I originally spoke to the class teacher to say DD wouldn't be in school that morning, as suggested, but class teacher told me absences have to be dealt with by school office. Sad

OP posts:
littlemisssarcastic · 06/10/2012 09:51

Sorry for last post mistakes. Am on my phone.

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 06/10/2012 09:58

For future reference, don't involve the receptionist at all. It is none of her business.

Write a letter to the HT, cc the class teacher, saying "DD will not be in school on the morning of ..........because she has a hospital appointment".

Re collecting from school, do the same, saying "DD will be collected by ........ on whatever day it is".

If the HT has a query, he or she will ring you.

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