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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

rather a what would of you done than aibu

52 replies

alwaysGOLD · 02/10/2012 08:51

Dp went to pub last night, i went to bed woken up by his work alarm at 4.15am, he wasnt in bed so went downstairs found him asleep on sofa. Clearly to much to drink.
I woke him up, the bastard had thrown up all over the sofa and slept in it. Apparently i was a "right moody bitch" to make him clean it all up before work. I have three children to sort in the morning i was not leaving mess on the sofa for them and leaving it there is just gross!. Also he has stuffed THREE loo rolls done the toilet - the idiot!

Now hes telling me i was wrong to of "forced" him to clean it up.

So what would all of you done?
I look forward to showing him the responses later im off out for a bit so may not reply for a while.

OP posts:
TheHeirOfSlytherin · 02/10/2012 08:53

I'd have thrown him and the sofa out until both the sofa and his act had been well and truly cleaned up! Dirty bastard!

Frontpaw · 02/10/2012 08:55

He is probably feeling crappy and hungover! All he wanted was sympathy... No chance!

'Buy Gold a big box of chocs, take out for meal and get sofa steam cleaned'

wannabedomesticgoddess · 02/10/2012 09:01

I would be more than moody if my partner thought it was somehow my job to clean up his vomit.

Im so glad my DP doesnt drink.

OwedToAutumn · 02/10/2012 09:01

You won't find many people on here saying he shouldn't have cleaned up after himself, but do you really think showing him the thread will make him "see sense"?

I doubt it frankly, particularly if this is not e first time, which you don't mention in your OP.

I think you have a lot to work through, and the nest of vipers is always here to help!

sookiesookie · 02/10/2012 09:03

Of course he should clean his own mess.

I take this is not a one off?

Smeghead · 02/10/2012 09:05

What the hell was he expecting would happen if he didnt clear it up? That the fairies would do it?

If you are ill through drunkeness then you clear it up, regardless of how hungover you are. As for being "forced" to clear it up, how old is he? FFS ....Hmm

And I hope he didnt drive to work after a skinful and barely any sleep.

sugarice · 02/10/2012 09:06

Christ Gold, that's awful for you! Does he make a habit of drinking himself into oblivion then he sleep in his vomit?

TroublesomeEx · 02/10/2012 09:07

Blimey. I'm glad my DH doesn't drink too.

Does he have a problem (with alcohol)? I just can't really imagine an adult getting this drunk on a work night if they didn't. Most people have learned to regulate their intake and whilst it's fine (if that's your thing) to over indulge occasionally, throwing up on the sofa and then expecting someone else to clear it up isn't!

ENormaSnob · 02/10/2012 09:07

The filthy pig should be ashamed of himself.

Tbh if my 3 children had to go downstairs to that cleaning it would be the least of his worries Angry

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 02/10/2012 09:12

Yuck. Whose responsibility did he think it was to clean up his filth?

So glad DH doesn't drink.

CailinDana · 02/10/2012 09:17

Who did he think would clean it up? You?

Tweasels · 02/10/2012 09:18

He'll still be pissed, that's why he can't see reason.

Wait until the hangover sets in. He gets up at 4.15 you say? That's an awfully early start when you've drank so much you've barfed. I would imagine by now he'll be feeling very sorry for himself. I bet he'll not be so nasty (and it is nasty, the way he's gone on) once the drink is out of his system.

My DH is usually at his nastiest when he knows he's in the wrong. Guilt seems to put him in attack mode for some reason. Maybe your child husband is the same.

YANBU. He's been a total arse.

Poledra · 02/10/2012 09:19

You, of course, ANBU. I once had to collect my DH after he got ill from drinking and he was totally ashamed of himself (had had to get off the train early as he knew he was going to be sick). I did put his clothes in the washing machine that night, as he was in no fit state to, but he was apologising and nearly crying in shame. AND he was still very apologetic and sorry the next morning. AND has never done it again.

HecateHarshPants · 02/10/2012 09:19

So what did he expect to happen to HIS vomit? Does he believe in the cleaning fairy? He expected YOU to clean up his vomit? Surely he wasn't suggesting you leave it there until he feels like dealing with it? That evening? The weekend, perhaps?

Oh no way. Not a chance. It's not your job to clean up vomit after a drunken person! If someone drinks so much that they are sick - they deal with it. How dare they suggest that someone else should deal with that for them?!

If my husband is ill and that is why he's thrown up, I will tuck him up in bed and clean up after him and generally make a fuss of him, as he does for me. But being sick after a skinful is self inflicted and you clean that bugger up yourself!

And he's got an attitude with you about it. Cheek of the man!

I can only hope his fuckwittedness is due to a killer hangover and he will see just how unreasonable he is and come home with massive apologies.

BeckAndCall · 02/10/2012 09:21

I'm wondering what kind of job he can do where you get up at 4.15 and can go into work still drunk? And how does he get there? Scary thoughts.....

Or maybe he's taking a sickie today?

MigGril · 02/10/2012 09:23

I'm just hoping he didn't get in a car and drive to work at that time. As he would still have been drunk and over the limit.

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 02/10/2012 09:24

What a vile disgusting man

I can't believe he'd even try to moan that he was 'forced' to clean it up, that in itself would make me lose all respect for him

littletingoddess · 02/10/2012 09:35

YANBU

I would have done the same. Hopefully, by the time your DP sobers up and can see reason, he'll agree that what you requested was fair.

I am very pleased that my DH only has a couple of drinks with dinner on a Saturday, and never enough to be sick!

honeytea · 02/10/2012 09:42

Vile behavior from your dp.

I think he might need to go and talk to a Dr about his drinking because a father drinking so much he is sick in his sleep on a Monday when he has to get up at 4 in the morning for work is not a healthy relationship to alcohol.

honeytea · 02/10/2012 09:43

Posted too soon, it is really dangerous, you were lucky to come down to a vomity sofa and not a dead dp.

Noqontrol · 02/10/2012 09:45

What does he do as a job?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/10/2012 09:47

You shouldn't have had to tell him to clean up. How old is he 16? Bloody hell he should have been so ashamed that he was grabbing the cleaning stuff without being asked.

He's bloody lucky he didn't choke if he vomited in his sleep.

Another one who is glad their DH doesn't drink.

NervousAt20 · 02/10/2012 09:47

I would have made him clean it up and been going mental while he did it

FireOverBabylon · 02/10/2012 09:48

Is his issue that he was made to clean it up before work, as opposed to at a time of his own convenience, presumably after work?

if so, politely point out that your DC need to sit on the sofa before they go to school and, had he left the voimt, it would have bleached the colour out of the sofa by the time he got home so he's be looking at paying for a replacement sofa had he left it, as opposed to cleaning the sofa in the morning and paying for a plumber for the blocked toilet

ScrambledSmegs · 02/10/2012 10:10

I really don't understand how he can possibly think he's in the right here. He went to the pub, drank too much, threw up on the sofa and slept in it the skank. He's a grown man, he made those choices, therefore he has the responsibility to clean up after himself. I can only assume that he's annoyed because he thinks you're his mummy too. Diddums.

YANBU. And if I were you, I'd make him sleep on that sofa all week so he gets to appreciate how the smell of beery vomit really lingers.