I'm too annoyed to analyse whether I'm being unreasonable or not now.
Brief summary: Our back garden can be extended by 3ft. All the neighbours have done theirs. I suggested we get someone in to do it before winter. Dh says that he'll do it as it'll be cheaper and done the way we (or should that read HE) wants it.
Every nice weekend we've had for the past 6 weeks has seen him working on the wall. He has to knock down ours and rebuild it 3ft back, incl foundations so quite a bit of work I realise. Every evening he comes back from work, he works on the wall (which he's admitted is now a bit of a hobby), finishes at around 6.30. We have tea, put the kids to bed and he falls asleep on the settee.
This is his birthday weekend. I've worked hard at 2 jobs for the past 3 months and we've hardly spent a weekend together. I finished early yesterday and cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. Today is a nice day but again, he's working on the wall. Has a friend in to help and will be out there all day. To top it off, he's brought something in from work to fix which is lying in my kitchen making the room smell very strongly of oil.
Now this bit prob is me being selfish but we're supposed to go out for a meal this evening. He's chosen a curry house. I hate curries. He has a curry every single week on a Sunday. A Sainsbury's one whilst the kids have a korma and I have to make myself something else. I really don't like curries at all.
So we've no babysitter (again), I shall drive us to the curry house, pretend not to be annoyed with him, pretend to enjoy my omelette and then drive home, put the kids to bed and watch him fall asleep on the settee. Oh and tomorrow we're going to his brother's because they are doing some kind of race. We have to be up early so there's no chance of a late night in any case.
Yes it's a rant and yes it's petty and hardly a problem compared to some but today I just feel really really pissed off and that's a problem if I am to try and remain cheerful for his birthday meal tonight.
AIBU?
To have a quick rant and then get over myself?
THERhubarb · 29/09/2012 09:26
The wall: yeah totally NBU, is he fecking Hadrian? > 
... also apt that a MN named 'PinkFloyd' has replied. Seriously - YANBU [you have two jobs 
]
YANBU - I had an ex who did similar with central heating; insisted him and his dad did it rather than get help in. It took 11 months. That is no fun when you are living out of a bedroom and filling the kettle 32 times for a bath in Dec...
Some men are just v. masculine about these things and see it as a sense of pride. I would be careful about handling this situ though as he will prob want you to congratulate him for a few years once he has finished his "project", and not realise how it is making you feel. He would prob be devastated to hear it is upsetting you as he thinks he is being a real hunter gatherer.
Must have been tempting to pay someone to do it as a birthday gift to him, no? 
Love love these reponses!
DeWe, the house is ex-HA and they built the sodding wall. When we bought it we realised that we had an extra 3ft of land round the back that all the neighbours have already claimed. The back garden isn't huge and I can see from the neighbours that the extra 3ft has made a difference. If we come to sell, it will be an investment to have that extra bit of garden.
Anyway, it all worked out eventually. He has agreed not to work on the wall for the next 2 weekends. He also said that as he had spent all day on the wall we could go to a different restaurant and make a bit more of an effort. As I did argue that the curry house was hardly going to be busy at 7pm on a Sat night and I've done that too many times now - been the only people eating in there with the waiters standing over you. So we went to a lovely restaurant and had a brilliant meal, even dh said how much he enjoyed it. Oh and I wore nipple tassles and a thong. Just a shame they were all waitresses.
As it happens, the local B&B where I occasionally work to boost my income, phoned to ask if I could do the check-ins from 5-7 on the Sunday so it gave me a good excuse to wave them off and stay in
I cleaned the house (again), made him his sarnies for today, did the kids packed lunch, got the fire going and prepared tea so that it was all ready to go in. I also got a nice bottle of wine and some dark chocolate for him.
So it worked out.
Now the argument is about my mother......she's sent him a present as she does every year. Only she doesn't send her grandchildren presents. She sends him one because she thinks she can manipulate him and because she knows it will cause tension between us as I can see the unfairness of him getting presents whilst her grandchildren don't. He will phone to thank her and she's got what she wants.
But that's a whole other thread.....
Glad you had a nice time 
I just hope the memory of Hadrian-and-his-stupid-sodding-wall have faded by next summer and you all enjoy your nice new garden.
digerd I appreciate the belated support!
My mother is deranged. At least I'd rather think she was deranged than just plain nasty. My niece got a box of biscuits for her birthday. My dd got just a card and when my brother said something, she eventually sent her some money in the post. With my dh she made an effort and got him some Dove smellies for men and a tenner, plus cards.
She does it every year on his birthday. Never to any of the other in-laws and the presents she gives to her grandchildren are naff - biscuits ffs!
But my ever trusting dh doesn't want to get involved and would feel rude if he didn't call her up to say thank you.
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