To not want children constantly pestering my 4mth old baby

[mrsshears]

I'm sick to the back teeth of people letting their children pester my baby while they do nothing, why do people think they have a right to let their children touch my baby without checking it's ok with me first?
We have had this situation happen alot since we had dd, i would not dream of allowing my other dc to touch someone's baby without asking, we have been to dd2's swimming lesson tonight and had to contend with a child of about 4 trying to get the baby to hold his hand whilst he tried to put his other hand in her mouth as his mum sat chatting and ignoring the situation, this is not a one off incident this kind of thing seems to happy all the time at the minute, it drives me crazy!!!

What about it drives you crazy? Do you think they are upsetting your baby, passing on germs, hurting them...?

Little children love babies. Your baby will be doing the same when he/she's 4. I'm struggling to see what the problem is?

YANBU, it is a baby not a plaything or a toy. You are probably dealing with the 'aahh Bless' factor where some parents think it is adorable behaviour on the part of their child.
Have you tried being firm and a bit blunt about it to both the child and the mother?
'Can you stop that now please?' backed up by removing the little angel's paws from the baby.

DD loves babies. I do keep her from touching but I think it is lovely.

YABU and a bit uptight.

It bothers the OP, surely like with a dog, that's all that matters?

What ate you afraid will happen?

Lordy - trying to hold your baby's hand - whatever next

I could understand your annoyance if they woke your baby if it was asleep but not for just being friendly.

*are!!!!

What is the actual problem?

Do you let your older DC touch your younger one? Do you not see the fascination?

YANBU. I disliked that very much when both DDs were babies. Sometimes older DCs can be a bit rough and not realise, or poke their fingers on faces etc. I used to hold DDs slightly out of reach and say 'please be gentle, she's still a small baby'.

Not like a dog. If the child isn't hurting the baby, they're not scaring them. Dogs can be scary.

My first .

I somewhat agree - at a baby activity class this week, the teacher's 8 year old returned from school and immediately start stroking all the babies' heads.

"Awww sweet" you might say, but one baby is very very prem and therefore still tiny (even at 5 months) and I was quite uneasy about it (although I have to say the baby's mother was actually pretty chilled). Especially since the girl hadn't washed her hands, despite already having been told to by her mother.

I would have thought that since this girl is often exposed to babies, given her mother's job, she might have been told to always ask permission before touching someone else's baby? At 8yo I would have thought she was capable of remembering to do so - much younger children, probably not.

I think it is isn't something to be too precious about, but it is certainly not always appropriate to touch babies without checking first.

I get this a lot in the playground at school with DD2. Best to be nice but firm if you don't like it. I go with the rule "if you you wake the baby you get her back to sleep" said with a genuine smile or move away if you don't like it. On the whole I don't mind it at all though.
The children aren't doing it to piss you off, they're just fascinated by babies :)

They might lick them...
I liked my children to be handled by as many people as possible, and they enjoyed it. However I have a high tolerance for stickiness, germs and general prodding,but some mothers are not as comfortable with it.
I don't see why the OP isn't entitled to want her baby left alone if it really bothers her.

I think it's rude amongst other things and she is a little person not a toy.
I do worry about germs too, especially when she get's mobbed after school by dozens of reception age dc who probably didn't wash their hands after going to the loo and like to try and put their fingers in her mouth.

Btw, babies usually like the attention. Instead of getting defensive next time it happens, look at your baby's face to see what she thinks of it.

yanbu toddlers get mucky and carry germs and with a baby that small I wouldnt be comfortable either. I still feel like puking wiping wee ones nose at 14 months when she has a cold let alone the worry of a toddlers hands. Toddlers who have a habit of scratching their bums (worms?) and picking noses. Yuk!

You sound a bit precious to be honest. I have an eight month old and it doesn't bother me as long as the children don't hurt her.

You've lost perspective about the germs thing.

And the baby probably loves the attention

Well on one hand I'm sure some children are good and nice and their parents have kept them clean, but there are quite a few children around 4/5/6 yrs old on my husbands side of the family and the parents seem to have not taught them much hygiene... They have been at my house and gone to the toilet, been annoyed that they've peed on their hands so wiped on their clothes instead of washing them... Scary!! Then these parents think I want the children holding my baby.... Unfortunately it has made me worry more about all children possibly touching my baby while she still seems small and vulnerable. So, I understand if that is your issue!!