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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want children constantly pestering my 4mth old baby

69 replies

mrsshears · 28/09/2012 20:01

I'm sick to the back teeth of people letting their children pester my baby while they do nothing, why do people think they have a right to let their children touch my baby without checking it's ok with me first?
We have had this situation happen alot since we had dd, i would not dream of allowing my other dc to touch someone's baby without asking, we have been to dd2's swimming lesson tonight and had to contend with a child of about 4 trying to get the baby to hold his hand whilst he tried to put his other hand in her mouth as his mum sat chatting and ignoring the situation, this is not a one off incident this kind of thing seems to happy all the time at the minute, it drives me crazy!!!

OP posts:

Tinkerisdead · 28/09/2012 20:21

I thought you were being pfb until you said dd2. I don't get it, unless your baby is asleep the yanbu at all. But it reads like toddlers are playing with your baby and you don't like them 'pawing' at her.

If you didnt have an older child i'd understand but my dd1 is constantly lying on, cuddling, squeezing, kissing, tickling, poking and once dropping my 7 month old dd. And when we go swimming or playschool etc i always end up with various children tickling her cheeks. All us second time mums laugh saying when it's your first you'd worry about germs but on your second its a right of passage being the youngest! I'm baffled really.

wolvesdidit · 28/09/2012 21:55

I can't get over how 'germ paranoid' some of you are! A few germs will do your kids good. That's why fewer children get leukemia if they've been to a nursery as a baby. Also babies love having new people to look at and interact with - good for their intelligence and it's good for small kids to learn to be kind to babies. So yes YDABU.

lovebunny · 28/09/2012 21:55

no-one should pester your baby. germy, wriggly, unwholesome children should keep their distance.

sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 22:08

In a couple of months you baby will be crawling and licking the flaw. I really would not worry about a child holding its hand. If you want avoid germs I would keep PFB in at all times and make home a sterile environment.
IMO, yabu and PFB.

pictish · 28/09/2012 22:15

May I suggest only taking your baby out in sterile, perspex box with armholes for you (and only you) to use, so those dreadful ill mannered children may admire the wonderousness of your offspring while not being able to cause contamination by touching it or even breathing near it.
I think you will be happier this way - who cares if everyone else thinks you're a lunatic?
YOUR BABY YOUR RULES!

dreamofwhitehorses · 28/09/2012 22:25

Your baby is part of a community. Sometimes I think children understand that better than adults. Those kids bonding with your LO are the same ones who in a few years time will be pushing him on the swing or leading him back to you when he tumbles in the park. Let him make friends! [Smile[

dreamofwhitehorses · 28/09/2012 22:25

pigletmania · 28/09/2012 22:25

I would have said yabvvvvvu before ds was born, ds is 8 months. I Hated it when itook dd to the park, ds was asleep, kids would come up touch him, call him waking him up grrrrrr. He would then be awake and grumpy

dreamofwhitehorses · 28/09/2012 22:27

*her (sorry)

dreamofwhitehorses · 28/09/2012 22:27

*her (sorry)

pictish · 28/09/2012 22:28

It's fine to say 'please do not wake my baby up'.
It is not fine to be pissed off because a kid touched their hand.

MrSunshine · 28/09/2012 22:31

mobbed by dozens of reception age kids

unless your baby has her pockets full of sweets, I very much doubt you aren't massively exaggerating.

lindsell · 28/09/2012 22:36

I think yabu in respect of them touching her at all but Yanbu in respect of them putting hands in her mouth.

When I go and get ds1 (3.5) from nursery loads of the other children always want to touch/kiss/say hello to ds2 (5mo). I'm fine with that but always ask them to touch gently or eg kiss his head not his face iyswim and if they try to do anything that might scare/hurt him or if he's asleep I ask them not to. Ds1 is also v proud & protective so while he likes to show of his little brother he tells anyone off who looks like they might grab him

I think it's nice they show an interest and it helps them learn about babies and how to touch them etc.

ilikedrivinginmycar · 28/09/2012 22:39

Babies like the attention, I have a 5 month old and she is constantly being pestered especially when we drop off DC1 at pre-school she doesn't get left alone, she definatly lets me know if she doesn't want other kids in her face as she will cry. Cant you just tell the kids to go away and stop pestering your baby. If mine starts crying I just say thats enough now we will leave the baby alone she doesn't like that.

thornrose · 28/09/2012 22:41

I get your point OP. When my dd was younger she was fascinated by babies. I always made a point of reminding her to ask the mum or dad if she could hold the baby's hand or stroke it. Most parents were lovely and loved the attention. Some parents said they'd rather she didn't which was also fine.

eurochick · 28/09/2012 22:41

No wonder we have so many allergy problems if some babies are protected from germs like this.

mummmsy · 28/09/2012 22:43

i totally understand this. i despised older children pawing at my baby, yes it may be pfb syndrome, but I still felt like that! I told them to leave her alone, in the nicest possible way, you should too if you want to.

mummmsy · 28/09/2012 22:44

btw now that my dc is 6 i don't let her paw at other babies

Sidge · 28/09/2012 22:46

You know, babies do have an immune system...

It might be immature but the main way it matures is by exposure - so those germy little muckfactories a.k.a children are doing your baby a big favour.

Of course schoolchildren shouldn't be poking sleeping babies but I think you may be exaggerating for effect here and they are just interacting with your DD. I don't think I've ever seen a small child put their hands in my baby's mouths - they tend to stroke their hands and their heads.

Remember as well as maturing her immune system those children will be maturing her cognitive development

pictish · 28/09/2012 22:47

I've had three babies in my time, and I can't recall a single instance of an older child putting their hand in their mouths.

pigletmania · 28/09/2012 22:48

Fine if ds is awake, not fine if he's asleep and woken up by kids

MrsCampbellBlack · 28/09/2012 22:49

Pictish I am so tempted to report your post as surely it needs to be included in the next mn book

5madthings · 28/09/2012 22:52

God some people are miserable. They just want to say hello and most young children like babies, even my elder ones like babies. Mine are used to them and know to be gentlw but yes they will smile and play/interact with them and that is actually good for babues!

I wont let them wake a sleeping baby but my dd is 21mths and everytime we see a buggy she waves and says hiya baby. yesterday we saw one wirh a sleeping baby and she said night night baby and blew a kiss. thankfully most parents seem.not to mind and smile back and encourage their baby to wave etc.

When did people get so fucking precious?!

But then i give my babies to random people to hold...even shop assistants so i can try on clothes...

pigletmania · 28/09/2012 23:05

5madthings I just tell them baby is sleeping and tat we ave to be quiet. Ifteydo wake te baby I don't go all mad and loopy

MsVestibule · 28/09/2012 23:05

Older children regularly try to put their hands in your baby's mouth? Seriously? If that does happen, just tell them not to do it!

But honestly, you're bothered that a curious child wants to hold your baby's hand? My DD(5) loves babies, and holds their hands whenever she can. TBH, it makes me a bit sad to think that a mother like you has possibly thought "I wish that filthy child would just stop pawing at my baby."

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