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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do they really humiliate Bigger BMI pregnant women now?

178 replies

KillerRack · 28/09/2012 14:53

I am a bigger BMI, and have anxiety issues.

I've been turning my own stomach recently worrying that in hospital they will make me you have to use a fat person delivery room, or a huge bed or god knows what.

just need some reassurrance it hasn't turned into a circus really?.

AIBU to worry so much??.

OP posts:
Boggler · 28/09/2012 14:59

I think you'd have to be very big before they made you have a special bed or use a special room. Obviously if you're too big for a normal one then this would have to happen or you couldn't o to hospital. I'm not small my BMI=30 and nothing was ever said about being singled out for special treatment - other than a glucose tolerance test which is standard practice for higher BMI's. So Op I wouldn't worry and none of the mw's will be unkind especially if you explain your anxiety issues.

pinkdelight · 28/09/2012 14:59

Is this because of the other thread? I wouldn't let it alarm you unduly. I had an 'obese' category BMI during my last pregnancy and it just meant I had to do a fasting blood test and go to a clinic to check for gestational diabetes. I didn't have it. (My non-obese friend did and wasn't checked so didn't find out till very late on.) That aside, I just got the occasional comment about healthy eating, which I took on board and two years later I'm a healthy BMI. Hope that's reassuring.

controlpantsandgladrags · 28/09/2012 15:02

I wouldn't say humiliate, no. In my experience they like to make sure you are aware of the risks involved. Although how that is at all helpful once you're already pregnant I failed to understand!

Don't be anxious about it. If your BMI is over 35 you will be consultant led and have extra appointments (in my area anyway) but its really nothing to get het up about Smile

MrSunshine · 28/09/2012 15:02

nobody wants to humiliate you, you will only get special equipment or attention if it is medically necessary.

Original poster
KillerRack · 28/09/2012 15:03

Which other thread??

Tbh I huge amounts of people are classed as obese now, who looking at them you've think , nah..just a bit chubby.

I am classed as m.obese by my BMI Blush but I can fit in a normal bed perfectly :/ I am v.tall I suppose it disguises ^some of it.

OP posts:
controlpantsandgladrags · 28/09/2012 15:03

Oh and I didn't have to do a gtt despite a BMI of 36. Maybe I should have though...my ante natal care was a bit chaotic!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 28/09/2012 15:06

I was obese when I had my last DC and they made no reference to it during the birth at all.

The only comment was on my scan that said that it wasn't clear due to "maternal habitus" which basically meant my fat belly. Grin

No one will humiliate you or make you feel bad. They just want to make sure that you are cared for properly and your baby delivered safely.

frootshoots · 28/09/2012 15:08

I was just over 15st when I was pregnant, was never once mentioned except for in my first scan notes when it said something like 'quality poor due to maternal BMI". I hadn't glucose tolerance test, which was fine. And gave birth in a normal room. I actually had a very smooth pregnany and easy birth. Have since lost all excess weight, be interested to see how different a pregnancy would be now!

ChazsGoldAttitude · 28/09/2012 15:10

Another obese mum here. It wasn't even mentioned when I was giving birth and mine was a higher risk delivery because it was a VBAC (normal delivery after previous C Section).

Faverolles · 28/09/2012 16:17

I was a BMI 40 when I had dc4. I was consultant led anyway because he was my 4th CS.
I had a GTT, but all was fine, and I actually had my easiest pregnancy, CS and recovery.
The midwives and dr's I saw we're all lovely, no-one humiliated me at all. They were honest about any risks, and advised me to aim for no weight gain (which I easily managed)

BikeRunSki · 28/09/2012 16:21

Not at all. Not in Barnsley anyway.

OddGoldBoots · 28/09/2012 16:25

It seems that each NHS trust has it's own guidelines but the lightest I have seen from a quick google is 28 stone to need a bariatric bed so if you are lighter than that you don't need to worry but if you are heavier then talk to your midwife about your concerns.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 28/09/2012 16:31

My BMI. was 35 at my booking appointment. I was told I should aim to be a stone lighter at the end of my pregnancy (so taking into account the weight of full term DS, fluid, placenta etc) so basically to lose 2.5st of my own weight. Whilst pregnant.

My consultant very kindly told me "fat people are more likely to have stillborns, you know". Which I found awfully reassuring at 32 weeks pregnant. I do think they could withhold the "helpful" advice about weight in pregnancy, after all, if you're already pregnant there's naff all you can do about it, which means they're just scaring women, really, which seems cruel and unnecessary.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 28/09/2012 16:31

I was over 20 stone when no4 son (fifth baby) was born. I also have various things wrong with my back and hip and am like a beached whale once I'm lying down, especially with a 40+ bump, and none of the medical staff were anything other than professional, helpful, kind, and polite to me at any time. They did broach the subject of my weight, they had to, but they never made me feel bad about it, or that I was being "got at" or singled out/picked on, and they were actually kinder to me than I was to myself iykwim.

Bunbaker · 28/09/2012 16:34

"Tbh I huge amounts of people are classed as obese now, who looking at them you've think , nah..just a bit chubby."

Who are you kidding?

MrSunshine · 28/09/2012 16:37

Only the obese people are classed as obese. The standard hasn't changed, just there are a lot more of them and your norm has shifted towards it.

Boggler · 28/09/2012 16:44

A bit mean bunbaker.

Chandon · 28/09/2012 17:08

Hello Killerrack,

in my experience hospital staff never set out to humiliate anyone, and will be very discreet and sensitive but mainly practical and to the point.

they will look after you and it will be fine. Nobody asked my weight when I went into labour.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 28/09/2012 17:12

My bmi was 30 and i didnt even have the gtt. Was only mentioned once in my two pregnancies, when i saw a consultant for an unrelated issue and she said obese people are recommended to take multivits

Icelollycraving · 28/09/2012 17:38

I had consultant led care for a few reasons,one being my bmi. I found some of the comments a bit patronising but nothing too bad really. They were doing their job,I took it on the chin(s).

MammaTJisWearingGold · 28/09/2012 17:44

They were all lovely to me in hospital and I am very cuddly obese. Don't worry about it.

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2012 17:45

You can probably expect the same comments and advice that smokers get during pregnancy regarding the possible risks to you and your baby.

However, I certainly don't agree with your comment that people who are 'just a bit chubby' are being classed as obese now.

It's more likely that if you really think that, your judgement is a bit skewed on what overweight/underweight people actually look like.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 28/09/2012 17:59

I havent been humiliated once during either of my pregnancies.

MerylStrop · 28/09/2012 18:12

I had a BMI of 29 in my second pg
and probably weighed about three stone less than most of the midwives and HCPs I saw...
You should expect to be treated with respect and understanding, I know that I was. And FWIW I would read around whether a Glucose Intolerance test is really necessary if your routine tests are all normal.

bigsnugglebunny · 28/09/2012 18:15

I wasn't humiliated at all, found staff to be friendly and reassuring. However, I did and still do understand that it is a higher risk factor. It has always been a case that I have tried my hardest not to gain any weight during pregnancy, and in fact all three times I lost weight.

However my local hospital's protocol really infuriated me. My 3rd pregnancy, (1st and 2nd having been homebirths at the same and higher BMI with no problems) I was in hospital for a checkup when my waters broke and I went into labour. They would not let me leave to go have my planned homebirth... which was a bit of an irritation. I know that I could have walked out at any point - but since I was there, and was expected to have a quick labour again, I stayed. I didn't fancy birthing on the way home!

Well... because I have a high BMI they told me that I should be flat on my back with those stupid straps round my stomach to monitor baby. I declined, as I like to stay on my feet during labour, and be as active as possible - and in the end had to compromise by having a monitor stuck on baby's head. (Surely us fatties need the exercise, non? [wry faced-smiley])

Then the anesthetist, who I'd never met before and never did meet - decided that I needed to have a cannula put in "just in case" I needed an EMC, purely based on the fact I was fat. Rather than my obstetric history. Was not happy at all about that, it hurt more than the contractions. Told the MW to pass on a bit of feedback to the Anesthetist - "fattist b'stard" was among things I said... I was in labour, not too diplomatic!

Delivered DD 14 minutes after the cannula was put in, 35 minutes after the monitor was attached to her head.

While I understand that being obese does and can cause complications. Not to mention the need for larger beds/operating tables - I do believe that each case needs to be taken on its own merits.