do they really humiliate Bigger BMI pregnant women now?

[KillerRack]

I am a bigger BMI, and have anxiety issues.

I've been turning my own stomach recently worrying that in hospital they will make me you have to use a fat person delivery room, or a huge bed or god knows what.

just need some reassurrance it hasn't turned into a circus really?.

AIBU to worry so much??.

So surely the ignorance is with the medical staff who told me?

so throwing words around like 'ignorant' 'got it so very wrong' when its not really my fault is out of order to be quite honest.

you perhaps don't see how unpleasant you come across, others have called you on it also maybe you're not aware.

The whole 'cut down slowly' thing is relatively new in my area and leads to much more women continuing to drink and smoke to not 'get too stressed.

I have to disagree that pregnant smokers are treated with cotton wool Op.
It's been 17 years since I had a child, and I didn't stop smoking though I cut down.
I got lectured all the time, though always in the interest of me and my baby.
As are the lectures that those on the morbidly obese scale get, it's common sense.

I haven't had any lectures , you would get them if you refused medical care.
The only thing I'm refusing is an epi as pushing with severe hyper mobility and not being able to feel anything is not safe or healthy.
I meant on here anyway LadyBeagle, there's a lot respect a woman's choice to drink and smoke etc its a bit of a d.standard.

Oh ffs I actually put in brackets (meant in the true sense of the word and not as an insult)

And you did get it so very wrong...you've admitted that.

Perhaps you chose the wrong topic to post in if you didn't want honest answers.

And in most people's worlds honest does not necessarily equal bitchy.

Good luck with the pregnancy and birth anyway OP.

Sorry OP, I have to comment here and say that I don't think Worra has been "bitchy" at all.

You seem like you'd rather remain in denial about the risks that obesity causes to unborn babies, Worra has simply outlined what these risks are - it seems that having a big baby is not the only thing overweight women who ttc need to consider. That seems self-evident to me.

Pointing the finger at those who drink or smoke is NOT helpful in this instance. At the worst, just because someone else chooses to put their baby at risk through drinking and smoking, does not make it "ok" to put your baby at risk through being overweight.

There is also a fair amount of evidence that "moderate" drinking poses no risk to an unborn child. If there is similar evidence that obesity proves no risk, then you could do worse than rooting it out.

*I didn't get it wrong I was told wrong there's a difference.

And you did say ignorant further down.

Worra people did pull you up on how unpleasant you were being so its not as if its just my opinion.

maybe you should address why you can't be honest without being rude ?.

And the consultant led care isn't a huge part of the pregnancy either I've seen 2 different ones twice everything else has been MW led.

Oh FFS I was TOLD these things , by a medical staff so the fault is theirs not mine if my information is wrong. blaming me for being told the wrong info is not helpful.

What is moderate though>? most people by and large drink an unhealthy amount. If its okay to compare obesity/smoking then my comments are fine.

Thank you cakebump

OP just because someone else sees honesty as rudeness that's not my problem.

For every person who interprets my posts on this thread there will be others who don't.

Maybe you should address why you're so snippy about me posting facts on your thread?

Anyway, that's the last post I'll make on it unless you come back with any other unfounded allegations.

Anyway in answer to your original question, the doctors are unlikely to "humiliate" you, unless you find the usual diet/weight/health questions humiliating in themselves.

"most people by and large drink an unhealthy amount"

Really?? And in pregnancy??

Sorry, I have to disagree

Yes they do i.e

I glass of wine = I large glass of wine.

as well as obesity there is a huge binge drinking problem in this country so they are alike then people think.
And its surprising how many 'educated.respectable' people drink and smoke too, and largely they drink too much.

Oh and I've just scrolled right the way back through the thread and no-one accused me of being unpleasant OP.

One poster (Chaz) called into question how helpful I was being and that was all.

But as I said I will leave your thread now.

Good luck.

I have no issues with you posting facts,where have I said that?
I said the 'ignorant' comments were rude, that's all.
many others have posted facts I haven't called them rude because they weren't.

Agh fine OP, think what you want.

But it looks to me that you are attempting to make yourself feel better about your weight problem by pointing the finger at some unspecified other "people" who have a "binge drinking problem" which is actually utterly irrelevant.

I was merely pointing out the double standard.
and someone being rude that's it. If its come across another way then that's unfortunate.

No, its not a double standard.

Obesity in pregnancy carries risks.

Drinking and smoking in pregnancy carries risks.

But just because you can point at someone else who is taking risks, doesn't reduce the risks you are taking.

Oh for christ sake if you're still banging on about me being rude OP you clearly don't understand what the words (meant in the true sense of the word and not as an insult) actually mean.

I couldn't have put it any clearer than that.

I obviously meant you were ignorant of the facts (which you admitted because you were only told about the 'big baby' thing)

I did not say or mean that you personally are an ignorant person.

Do you understand now?

No she doesn't and most likely never will worra .

Perhaps this will help Worra...

Ignorant:
Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular ie "ignorant of astronomy".

OP, Worra is only trying to help, by pointing out the facts behind what the consultant told you. Believe me, I've posted about being classed as obese in my pregnancies upthread, I'm on your "side", as it were.
Its one thing to make a choice (as you have put, as many smokers do) that you will willingly put your babies health at risk when you know the risks. But from your post of what the consultant said, you clearly didnt know the risks of obesity, so its best for you that someone clarifies them? :)

Where I was coming from was that if the OP had been asking about TTC then pointing out all the risks of obesity would make sense because there is still time to do something to mitigate those risks. If the OP is already pregnant then there isn't much you can do to reduce the risk save stopping it getting any worse by following a healthy diet and exercising as much as is safe to do.

Heavy drinking in the early stages of pregnancy is a bad thing, but if someone had gone on a bit of a bender before they realised that they were pregnant would it really do them any good to list all the potential harm they may have done to there baby because of that bender when there is nothing they can about it.

their not there

I agree with your point Chazs - it's too late for the OP to do anything about it now.

its not too late, you can improve your lifestyle during pregnancy

To echo what others have said, WorraLiberty is talking complete sense here.
It's perfectly clear that she was using the true meaning of the word 'ignorant'- not bandying it about as an insult.

The fact is, being obese during pregnancy carries huge risks, and it makes no sense at all to try and play down those risks by suggesting that smoking and drinking while pg is somehow 'worse'.

I honestly think, OP, you should take in the helpful info that Worra has offered, rather than leaping on the defensive.

MsElisa
What you you think the OP should do with the helpful advice given that she is already pregnant and obese? She can't materially alter any of the risk factors now. She can follow a healthy lifestyle to stop the risks getting any worse (and possibly reduce them slightly) but she can't diet enough to remove the obesity risk.

I was faced with the same problem in my second pregnancy so I focussed on a healthy diet and reasonable exercise and kept my weight gain to baby related weight c1.5 stone in total. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight in 2 weeks and back in my jeans in 3. I got told off by the MW when I lost weight between appointments. I think I probably did all I could to manage the risk but I was realistic that I couldn't reduce it significantly once I was pregnant.