to move my 9mth old babies cot into the bathroom during sleep training

[elcap]

I have just started back at work, and my 9mnth old is still not sleeping through. We have started controlled crying but it wakes her sister in the adjoining room.

I am getting a bit desperate. AIBU to move her into the bathroom for a few nights while we go through the controlled crying journey (battle...)

My husband seems to think its child cruelty.... I just think its practical solution for everyone to get more sleep in the long run.

Your husband is right, it is child cruelty. Poor baby!

For those of you who said "there's nothing wrong with CC", you might want to have a read of this

I should add that my eight month old wakes once or twice a night too and I am also back at work in a demanding job and have two other children. Never once have I thought that teaching a baby that of they cry they will be ignored would be a good way to sleep all night! You just pick the baby up and bring them in for a cuddle, and if you don't have much room get your husband to go somewhere else! Why would you deliberately let a baby cry? There is a reason why medical and child care professionals do not recommend controlled crying!

For the sake of argument, assuming you did CC with her in the bathroom and it was successful, as soon as you moved her cot into another room then she'd probably start waking up again so not a good idea for that reason alone.

Could her sister sleep somewhere else she cant hear her (in your room?) while you do CC?

CC doesn't work if they are ill/teething and you may have multiple relapses if you go away overnight, she gets ill etc. Saying that, its the only thing that has worked to get my DD (now 18 months) to sleep through, its just taken a very long time.

I really wouldn't. For right or wrong I would just put up with it.

DeliaRose that article is not about controlled crying (google it) its about crying it out which is not what the OP said she was doing.

No I wouldnt,

Have you considered any other options besides CC?

I think people are over-reacting a bit by calling it child cruelty, but can see that as your family is already having to adjust to your returning to work it might not be an ideal time to try it regardless of the bathroom issue.

Would it be that disruptive to bring her in with you at 3am? She might then sleep later than 5am anyway which would balance it out a bit. Then perhaps in a few months time when she's a bit older you could both book a week off work and try the CC then when you/DH and DD1 could catch up on sleep the next day.

I must admit I never tried it, purely because I couldn't be arsed with the up and down every five minutes it was easier to just bring DD in with us and go back to sleep.

What exactly is the difference between crying it out and controlled crying? They both work to the same agenda- mummy wont come to stop you crying you have to sort yourself out! Controlled crying just sanitises it a bit so mothers that justify it as being acceptable!

You sound selfish. I think you need to re-think your priorities. I'm sorry your tired. I understand. I am too. But really, just because YOU are back at work does not mean your baby suddenly needs to fit in with that.

I think the generally consensus is that its a bad idea, as is the cc at 9 months.
But I'm guessing from your replies so far, u r going to ignore the majority and focus on the few that share your view and reinforce this as a good idea.

Is this post some kind of joke? Your 9 month old cries so you want to stick her in bathroom to cry it out so you can get some sleep?

Myself & plenty of other women I know manage FT work, sleep deprevation without resorting to sticking our children in a damp room which is used to shit in.

Learn to sleep less

Can't you co sleep? You want to leave your baby to cry herself to sleep in the bathroom?!

Can't your partner soothe her? She is crying because she needs you and some comfort, poor baby being left to cry. You think going back to paid work means she doesn't deserve to be comforted in the night?

I understand being tired at work, welcome to parenthood, how come u have escaped it so far?
Try being a single parent, doing it all from day one, no lie ins, no DH to help with night terrors etc. U really have no idea what tired is. And still I wouldn't contemplate cc at 9 months or using a bathroom as a bedroom!

This would not be acceptable in my opinion. I don't agree with this rocking to sleep for hours business. But moving a baby into a bathroom. No way!

I haven't met a mother yet who works and is permanently exhausted when their children are little. You just get on with it!

MrsOscar - It's pretty much the same, but here's another link for you

and a quote, to get to the point;

""Controlled crying" (Perhaps the most ironically termed practice) "cry it out", or whatever new fashionable term has been applied to "leaving a baby to scream", have been shown to flood the brain with Cortisol (a stress hormone) and Adrenalin; which has amongst other things been linked to depression, anxiety and violence in later life. If the child is comforted, these levels then drop rapidly - if left uncomforted, although the child may eventually stop crying - the levels remain elevated and drop slowly."

and a link to the research behind these findings

and what Doingakatereddy said.

A 9mo baby waking just once in the night?! I'll swap for my 20mo toddler who has NEVER slept through. And I can't imagine why you would put your baby in the bathroom.

Poor thing. Why not just accept that for now, your baby isn't ready to sleep through without waking once? Having to wake just once a night is not going to leave you so sleep deprived that you can 'barely string a sentence together'. If I am still up with a 20mo three times+ a night, who ends up co sleeping as we share a room, and fidgeting all night, and I can still function (most days, I had a moan today but I'm ill, that's allowed!) fine, then that is a bit of an exaggeration.

I think she's getting the message actually!

Bloody Nora.

It's amazing how all of us who were left in a pram outside the front door everyday made it to adulthood....

I think it's damaging to not teach your baby to self soothe, and very selfish to want that baby to only rely on you for its comfort.

I firmly believe happy mum = happy family however you wish to parent.

And yes, though I am not working too, I HAVE done 60hr week night shifts with just 4 hrs sleep in 24, and a baby, a toddler and a school age DC to look after during the day in the past.

Tiredness when working and having DC's is par for the course.

And now I have the non-sleeping toddler, an 8yo with SN's, a 10yo, a 14yo with SN's AND I have two disabilities myself. Oh, and I do all that alone as I am now a Lone Parent, and have been for 16 months...

Sleepless nights don't last forever (except in the case of certain SN's...)

I don't agree with putting the baby in the bathroom as I said earlier.

But it's a bit annoying how some folk seem to want everyone to parent the exact sane way as them.

If she wants to start to teach the child to self settle and sleep in its own room at 9 months what's the problem with that?

Some people all sleep together in great big beds for years, each to their own.

YANBU