to move my 9mth old babies cot into the bathroom during sleep training

[elcap]

I have just started back at work, and my 9mnth old is still not sleeping through. We have started controlled crying but it wakes her sister in the adjoining room.

I am getting a bit desperate. AIBU to move her into the bathroom for a few nights while we go through the controlled crying journey (battle...)

My husband seems to think its child cruelty.... I just think its practical solution for everyone to get more sleep in the long run.

9 months = desperation anxiety and developmental leap. This means not much sleep.

You need to work out how to cope with less sleep - baby needs to be near you not in a bathroom.

YABU for putting her in a bathroom.

Also CC isn't always a magic bullet. You could get your DH to try and resettle her instead? That's how a friend of mine got her baby to sleep through.

But give her time - its probably because you're at work. My ds did that to me but I let him be and he got better. I go back to work in two weeks and expecting dd to be unsettled again. Sleeping with her at night makes her happy as she can "check in" with me again.

Good luck with whatever you decide OP - it horrible being tired and at work.

Maybe the living room would be better noise wise. I dont think the bathroom is bad though. I used toi sleep in ours if i was poorly as it was warmer ! Maybe my parents just had a nice bathroom

Training is for dogs, not babies... Not only are you prepared to let your baby cry themselves to sleep (I wonder how you'd feel if your DH left you to cry yourself to sleep?) but you want to shut them in a bathroom in order to do so, so they don't disturb you while they are doing it...

I do wonder why people have babies if they're such a fucking inconvenience...

Controlled crying isnt the same as cry it out. You dont leave them to cry themselves to sleep. Or at least if you do , you are doing it wrong.

@midori1999

sleep training might not be for you but there is no need to be rude.

YABVU, and very cruel. I thought this thread was a joke when I clicked on the title.
Please consider what you are proposing to do to your already troubled little girl. Instead of taking the time to gently help her learn to sleep better you are going to 'train' her to sleep by teaching her no one will come to her when she cries. Can you put yourself in her position and think about how it feels to cry and cry and cry till you fall into an exhausted sleep? You're going to do that to your baby? And shut her away in the bathroom? Words fail me.
You may well be tired, but you are her mother. Act like it rather than inflicting this cruelty on a small, frightened baby. Poor little thing.

OP, I know you were asking about the bathroom, not whether or not you should sleep train, but you must have had a very good 1st baby or you forgot that babies and toddlers wake up through the night. What if she is teething? I am tired too, but my DD wakes up every night, at different times for different reasons ( very gassy baby, reflux etc). I take her to our bed when she first wakes up if I am very tired so we partly co sleep. I can see her slowly getting better, but when I started working, she was waking up sometimes 4 times a night.
I don't mean to be rude, but if you try putting yourself in her shoes...she is a baby, she may have started going through separation anxiety. She does not have a mental capacity to understand that if you leave her to cry, this is because she is supposed to sleep. She cries because she hasn't got any other means of communication at this stage.
I think I feel so strongly about sleep training, because I have never heard about this until I moved to UK and when I first read about this, I thought it was a joke. I think it's a very cold parenting method.

@iwantsomepeachcookies

she isn't a troubled little girl. she is an absolute delight but not a great sleeper. this isn't about sleep training its about the pros/cons of using the bathroom.

Waking up at 3 and 5 doesn't actually sound that bad, a full night of no sleep sounds bad.

I know it's hard with lack of sleep but you're going to have to deal with it without putting her in the bathroom. Why not try pulling her cot up against your bed, when she wakes keep the room dark and quite without any stimulation other than a calming cuddle or stroking her face or something, give her a few minutes to settle herself back to sleep with you nearby and if she wakes further perhaps offer her a drink.

CC is something that you either love (because it works) or you hate. It's like shoes on or off in the house or if you rinse your dishes. No one will ever agree the other is right or has a point.

This post is about whether sleeping in the bathroom would be ok.

Guessing nobody has read 'that wife' blog. She kept her baby in the bathroom for 2 years...

Sorry you're getting a bit of rough time, OP. If you want to try CC then do, it is not for everyone but it has also worked wonders for other families.

I'd say it depends what your bathroom is like. A lot of bathrooms are colder and echoey which wouldn't be ideal for anyone. Is there a way you could move her to maybe the living room?

I don't understand the idea that your 9 month old is big enough to sleep for 8 hours plus. I don't think that's how it works.

However that's not what you asked. No I would not do this.

Would you want to move your bed to the bathroom ? i know you are doing C C and I know you need your sleep but id try and find a better solution in the room she is in , pick her up and put her back down is better way if sleep training than letting her cry it out and no chatting during the night,

I have recently started back at work, and my 9mo DD has started waking in the night again, at midnight and at 3am. No matter how tired, or stressed, or wanting her to leanr to sleep through, I would never consider putting her in the bathroom.

Put her bed in your room if you are concerned about your other DC.

Bathroom?

CC won't work if you are going to be changing her environment to do it, so this isn't about proper sleep training.

Putting her in a tiled room with completely different acoustics would be horrible for her.

You need to think of something else, or wait until she is old enough to sleep through or self settle.

She wakes twice in a night, so you deal with her once and your DH does the other time. Not exactly exhausting? If you are doing controlled crying I assume you need to be able to hear the cries yourself, can you if she's in the bathroom? Also, isn't it supposed to work at some point so the dsis won't be wakened?

If you move her into a different room for sleeping you will make her even more unsettled. They need familiarity at that age.

How does she fall asleep at night?
Is she able to fall asleep by herself?
Everyone wakes up during the night, but quickly fall back asleep. Babies often wake up but if their environment is different from when they fell asleep, then they will wake up.
I found that as long as DS did fall asleep by himself to start with, and I had to use a mild version of CC (1 min crying, repeat a few times, increase to 2 min, repeat a few times) he wouldn't wake up during the night.

You may also want to try other methods that require less crying.

Plus, babies wake up more frequently during developmental changes.
Chances are her sleep will get better soon, regardless of method used.

If you are doing CC and she is in the bathroom that means you are going to have to get out of bed wander to the bathroom put a light on somewhere so you can see and try and settle baby then go back to bed, so you are still going to be awake and probably going to hear anyway, the whole house is going to be disturbed with you or dad going to the toilet to settle her,

I did the same sort of controled crying with dd1 as Lueji seemed to work fine,

It's not ideal, but coping with returning to work and a baby that doesn't sleep is horrendous so you have my sympathy.

Providing it's clean, warm and not damp I don't see why not for a few nights. My main concern would be that when you move her back she may be unsettled again anyway because of the change of room.

I'm sorry but she's a small baby still and she's waking because she needs you or/and milk.

You need a better solution. Cant you co sleep?

Controlled crying wouldn't be my first choice! You sound a bit mean.

Agree with MorningGromit and anyone else who's sensibly pointed out that the atmosphere and accoustics of a bathroom will unsettle your baby even more. CC is one thing (not something I necessarily agree with at 9 months) but sticking the poor child in the bathroom so nobody else can hear her scream is pretty callous, IMO.

Please put yourself in her position for a moment. She doesn't understand why you're letting her cry and cry all of a sudden in the first place. Then you move her from a room she's familiar with, into a chilly (?) echoey room that smells very different and let her cries bounce off the walls. And then (assuming it 'works') you move her back into - where? Her own room? Your room again? Sorry, I might have missed that. In any case, it's really going to confuse her again.

If you tried cosleeping again - a 9 month old baby is much larger and more robust than a tiny baby, and honestly - you won't squish her! Get a bed guard and see if it works. Please please don't put her in the bathroom. Honestly, I can't really believe I read an OP like that on here.