To be cross with this dog owner and to have told her she is a stupid cow

[Vagaceratops]

To get home DS2 and I have to walk across a large playing field which is also the local dog walking spot.

DS2 has SN and is not confident around dogs (I wouldnt say he was afraid but he cowers when he sees them). Today dog passes us coming down the hill as we are going up, about 2 metres in front of his owner. Dog stops to give DS a sniff. It was only a small dog but DS was still hiding behind me. Dog owner tells him not to be silly, that the dog wont hurt him. I say that he doesnt like dogs. She gives me a face and picks up the dog to bring it nearer to DS, saying there is nothing to be afraid of. DS squeals in fright so I bend down to pick him up. She brings the dog higher, telling DS again there is nothing to be scared of, the dog is friendly. DS starts to cry.

I walked off quickly carrying DS and over my shoulder I said 'stupid cow'. I know I lost the moral high ground at that point but I was so cross and DS was so upset. Its taken a good half hour to calm him down.

YANBU. She was a stupid cow.

YANBU. Why on earth would anyone put an animal closer to someone if they clearly didn't like it?

It's not up to a dog owner to decide when someone else's child "should" learn to like dogs.

I'm heartily sick of dogs bounding over, jumping up, nearly knocking people over. And you know what? The owners never apologise, it's always "he's just being friendly", or they make a joke of it

YWNBU and I think quite restrained.

Why why why do people feel the need to get your child to like their dog? It's a bit like a man who thinks he can make a lesbian heterosexual. Well not really, but you know what I mean... I am so sick of random strangers trying to "help" with my child's fear of dogs. She will get over it in her own time and I know I'm not aiding it as my other children are not afraid. Makes me so mad too! I'm sitting here typing madly for you!!! Arghh

Oh, I don't mean just the approaching. I'm being unintentionally vague.

It's the what happens next. Scared humans don't stand there calmly- they panic, they react unreasonably. Then the dog gets scared, and... Whose fault was it? Well, the owner. Especially if the scared human was a child.

There is a tendancy on nere to be blindly in favour of anything a dog does.

I was walking along a street with my 4yo, when a dog ran out of a house on the opposite side of tge road and blocked our way, growling and snarling. The owner just stood there until I asked him three tmes to control his anmal.

Someone an AIBU told me 'if the dog was going to bite you, it would have' and i was made out to be hysterical for being annoyed.

Imo all dogs need to be either securely fenced in (and not so they block access to the letterbox and doorbell) or on a lead at all times, except in designated dog parks. Sick and tired of 'shes just being friendly'. You choose to get a dog, you control it. People get priority over dogs, and need to feel safe and not get jumped at and slobbered on.

Like a pp said, if I let my child behave like that I would be in trouble, and my child doesn't have huge teeth and claws.

Friendly dogs block your way and growl and snarl at you Britta, didn't you know? Can't imagine why you wouldn't want to give the fluffy little thing a pat

For example, I have arachnophobia. I've worked on it a lot. If I see a spider in the bath, the whole street no longer knows.

It used to be the whole works. Uncontrollable shrieking, sudden movements, etc. Lashing out if the spider moved towards me.

How many dogs are that bomb-proof? Most of the ones I see can't walk without straining at the lead. Never assume that it'll be all okay because your dog is "friendly".

This happened to us the other day. DS(7) isn't keen on dogs, and has good reason not to. When we've visited family members who said "oooh my dog is perfectly safe, she's just being friendly" etc etc, twice now, said friendly dogs (different ones, from different branches of the family) have bitten him. He wasn't even near either of them, not making any noise, not being disruptive- He was drawing the 1st time, building with Lego the 2nd. So he's understandably wary.

We were out walking the other day when a large sheepdog bounded towards him. He hid behind me, and the owner of the dog looked at him like this and said "she won't hurt you, you know!" as if he was being silly. It's not an acceptable way to behave. I think people do it a lot more with children- it's as if the fears of children don't count.

YWBU to call her a cow, and I think your route home is problematic. But other than that, YANBU.

Walking down the road a pug launched itself at dd (20m) and was straining at the leash snarling. Dd stood her ground. (ds would have freaked out because he is scared if dogs after similar incidents)

The dog owner picked the dog up, cuddled it and said

'don't worry I won't let the girl hurt you'

I almost said "its not her you should be worried about, if that dog came an inch closer I'd have booted he thing"

Everybodys

YANBU.

In hindsight 'What the actual FUCK do you think you are doing, you stupid cow?' might've been more appropriate.

She'd already heard & ignored the OP saying 'Ds doesn't like dogs'.

Not, for example, 'Ds doesn't like dogs, why don't you shove yours in his face?'

The OP speaking to her, the ds crying & the squeal of fright would've suggested to any non stupid cow that maybe she should back off, no?

I will freely admit that I don't see the point of dogs & I'd rather not have them pester me, but I have to share the planet (& the park!) with dog lovers, so I will teach my dc not to be unnecessarily scared of them, but to be sensible & respectful & keep a safe distance unless a dog owner invites them to approach.

Doesn't mean they should have to put up with a faceful of dog if they've clearly indicated they'd rather not!

YANBU to think she shouldn't have pushed her dog onto DS but you were also right that you lost the moral high ground too. You should have just told het that DS really isn't ready thanks and walked away. If you didn't ask her to stop it wasn't really her fault and i'm sure her intentions were all good.

EverybodysCryEyed and yet some dog owners think that it's parents teaching children to be scared of dogs!

What a stupid woman!

I think the OP deserves a medal for not punching the dog owner - the dog owner WBVVVU, especially aftr being told that the DS was scared of dogs!

I'm not scared of dogs, but I wouldn't have one myself (cat person). However, my DGPs do have a dog and 12 years ago I spent an afternoon training my cousin not to be scared of DGPs' alsatian because the dog was jumping at the patio doors to be let into the livingroom because it felt left out while all the humans were indoors. Even at 18, I wasn't stupid enough to grab my 5y/o cousin & shove him up to the dog. I spent time in the conservatory in view of my cousin to he could see me playing with the dog, then asked him if I could bring the dog in to the room so she didn't feel lonely - I gave him the control. Then everyone gave the dog a fuss and after a while my cousin joined in when he was ready. You should never force a child into doing anything they're scared of doing.

So the rule of thumb seems to be don't approach a strange dog unless the owner confirms it is OK.
Equally, don't approach a visibly frightened child with your dog unless the parents says it is OK.

piprabbit

And also, don't approach a strange dog with your own dog without asking!

All in all, it's pretty simple, isn't it?

Why are these twits failing to ask?!

"don't approach a visibly frightened child with your dog unless the parents says it is OK."

In fact, don't approach any child with your dog. I'm sure if they and the parents are interested in seeing the dog, they'll make the first move.

My 22yo Dbro has Aspergers. He is so afraid of dogs (AFTER counselling, still not resolved) that if one is off lead, he will run out in the road in front of traffic to get away from it. He has been hit by a car before because one woman refused to call her dog to heel, despite my dad asking. My dad couldn't keep hold of him to stop him from bolting.

Why people can't just understand that NOT EVERYONE LIKES DOGS is beyond me.

And I am a dog lover myself, but I would never have behaved like this.

OP, YANBU, the woman WAS a silly cow!!

I will say though .. The DDA wouldn't cover being approached by a dog, TheBigJessie.

Yes, it does.

Its covered by Sec 3 of the DDA

Here is the info on the Direct Gov site someone only needs to be afraid that the dog could harm them, even if it only approached to sniff them.

And please, although not a responsibility, try your best to teach children what to do when approached by a stray or strange dog .. There are two safety postures that your children should know about to protect themselves against a possible bite from a strange dog.

If the children are standing, they should
STAND STILL LIKE A TREE.

Stand straight with their feet together.
Make fists with their hands and place them under their chin.
They should not stare at the dog but look down at the ground.
The dog will soon loose interest and wander off. When the dog is gone, the children should tell a familiar adult about the dog.

If the children are on the ground, they should ACT LIKE A LOG.

Lie face down with their feet together.
Make fists with their hands and place them behind their head.
Cover their ears with their forearms.
The dog will soon loose interest and wander off. When the dog is gone, the children should tell a familiar adult about the dog.