To be cross with this dog owner and to have told her she is a stupid cow

[Vagaceratops]

To get home DS2 and I have to walk across a large playing field which is also the local dog walking spot.

DS2 has SN and is not confident around dogs (I wouldnt say he was afraid but he cowers when he sees them). Today dog passes us coming down the hill as we are going up, about 2 metres in front of his owner. Dog stops to give DS a sniff. It was only a small dog but DS was still hiding behind me. Dog owner tells him not to be silly, that the dog wont hurt him. I say that he doesnt like dogs. She gives me a face and picks up the dog to bring it nearer to DS, saying there is nothing to be afraid of. DS squeals in fright so I bend down to pick him up. She brings the dog higher, telling DS again there is nothing to be scared of, the dog is friendly. DS starts to cry.

I walked off quickly carrying DS and over my shoulder I said 'stupid cow'. I know I lost the moral high ground at that point but I was so cross and DS was so upset. Its taken a good half hour to calm him down.

GGGGRRRRR and RAGE at people who tell me a dog is FINE and FRIENDLY and that I'M SILLLYYYY... fuck off. They may be right. Maybe I don't care.

Actually I love dogs, but I hate people like ^ that. They are bona fide knobheads.

YA definitely NBU. IME dog owners are incapable of comprehending that other people don't like or are afraid of dogs (often for perfectly valid reasons). It was totally unacceptable of the dog owner to try and force the issue with your son.

YANBU. She should have asked you whether you wanted her to hold her dog so that you could explain to your DS. And she had no right to call him silly for being afraid and avoiding the thing he was afraid of. That is a perfectly normal fear response. It is not as if he was hurling rocks at her dog and screaming the place down!

She was silly - if your DS had ended up screaming when the dog was face to face with him, then the dog could very easily have panicked too and bitten someone

I have several dogs myself. And as far as the law here is concerned, a dog does not have to cause injury for it to be seized, it only has to be classed as causing a person to feel that they are at risk . So sorry, but taking dogs up to people who are clearly afraid of them is tantamount to saying "Hi, I hate my dog so much that I want you to call the authorities and have it seized and PTS!"

I would have called her a few choice names myself, under the circumstances...probably harsher than stupid cow, mind you!

Not you hazeldog the sort in the OP. THEY love their dogs, I don't have to. Dogs gotta run, kids gotta run too... kid is not silly if they don't like dog. Fine to say "The dog's okay don't be scared, look, I'll put in on a lead is that better? Would you like to stroke him? He's annoying when excited... " etc etc etc do not refer to dog haters as silly. They are higher up in the food chain.

YANBU. I think my dog is the best thing since sliced bread but I do not expect anyone else to! I don't let her run up to strangers. What a horrible thoughtless lady to distress a child in that way.

I don't know why people think it's acceptable to be rude. Even the OP was questioning whether she was a bit OTT in the heat of the moment
I just think this is something that my mother would have done. Thought she was doing the right thing, just wanting to strike up conversation, mortified that the little boy was upset and then (wrongly) trying to make things better by continuing
However, she would have been absolutely distraught if someone had said that to her and would have been in tears for days, horribly upset
I know what happened was upsetting for the little boy, and I do think dog owners sometimes forget that people are genuinely scared of dogs. But the woman's intentions seemed good and a firm, 'please do not put your dog near my child, he is terrified of dogs and I would appreciate it if you keep it away from him'
Appreciate that's easy to say with hindsight, so not really getting at the OP, just the many people who have looked with hindsight and still think it's ok

YANBU. She sounds like a very rude, pushy woman and a bloody know-it-all to boot.

I wouldn't respond to anyone saying they were really frightened of X by grabbing X and shoving it at them. It's cruel. I don't blame you for being cross. it's easy to sit back now and say you were wrong to swear (and when you are out of the situation, it is wrong) but when it's you there, with a frightened child and you are cross with someone's stupid behaviour, it's easy to lose your temper and say something you really shouldn't

Phew aldi :) I would never call someone silly for being afraid of my dog she has massive teeth, can run at 35mph and take down an adult deer. What a delightful fluffy pet I have chosen.

YANBU she was being a silly cow and you informed her of such. Maybe next time she will think twice before shoving her mutt in a terrified childs face.

She sounds very rude and pushy...I am a dog owner and accept that not everyone wants them to come up and say hello...some people young and old are frightened of them. She should have respected your reaction YANBU

This and.. one time my danes got ahead of me in a local beauty spot and ran off to say hello to some people, the kids were petrified and ran, of course dogs love anything that runs so followed, luckily they are good natured or the children could have got hurt :( I'm usually up on this sort of situation, not everyone wants dogs round them so usually i would have leashed the dogs.

I couldn't apologise enough, and it was definately a one off.
Didn't help with the father of the kids shouting and swearing right in my face about my 'savage' dogs after profusely apologising i ended up losing my rag and saying 'you should teach your fucking kids not to run and stand fucking still'

Unreasonable of me really

"GGGGRRRRR and RAGE at people who tell me a dog is FINE and FRIENDLY and that I'M SILLLYYYY... fuck off. They may be right. Maybe I don't care. "

This is what someone we knew said to my mum as she cycled into her own drive and seconds later his " friendly" alsations teeth sunk into her calf...

"I think she sounds like she was trying to help your son come over his fear knowing full well her dog wouldn't hurt him! I think she was just probably trying to be nice :-) "

Know one knows whether thier animal might turn and hurt another - dogs are animals.

as said before - a lady from a&e said most dog attacks had come not from chavs with pit bull types but from FRIENDLY FAMILY dogs.

Its this 100% BLIND BELIEF that makes dog owners all the more scary to me.

The whole of society should have to be trained in how to respond to our dogs.

people have the right to walk without dogs scaring them!

I don't think YABU, but next time glare at her and say 'NO, take your dog away NOW PLEASE' because some owners are incredibly stupid about that sort of thing and really won't be deterred unless you look like a threat to their darling pooch.

I like HeathRobinson's post about having your fear shoved in your face.
Being as I love spiders and snakes, I ought to ensure every arachnophobe gets the chance to experience the beauty of a huge garden spider close up.
Because they can't hurt you.

mince does your mother have a dog? Does she want it put to sleep after she sticks it in someone's face, they scream, and the panicked dog bites?

I like animals. "Good Intentioned" people kill animals and it makes me rather sad. I'd like them to stop it.

I´m sure she meant well.

But why didn´t you just walk away??

She doesn't no. But I'll bear that in mind if she ever thinks to get one.
Just trying to see the other side to the hysteria (not the OP btw)
She probably picked the dog up so that it didn't jump up.
Who knows

Why is it so hard for dog lovers to keep their animals to themselves?
To train them to ignore other humans, to not chase runners or cyclists?
Why is it so hard for them to understand?

mince do you see? Good intentions just aren't enough. It is a pet-owner's responsibility to keep their animal safe. Physically and mentally.

I've said it before, if the dog lovers don't self-regulate and control their animals, not thrusting them onto other people, then the dog-dislikers will continue to make the laws more restrictive as the years roll by.

If a dog-owner wants to help, they would be better saying to you, 'My dog is really gentle with children, would you like me to hold him so that your dc can see, and maybe approach him if he would like to?'
Rather than shove him right in the DC's face.

That way, your DC can stay in control.

Stupid woman.

I've said it before, if the dog lovers don't self-regulate and control their animals, not thrusting them onto other people, then the dog-dislikers will continue to make the laws more restrictive as the years roll by.

totally agree. But not even dog dislikers I like dogs, I have a dog but some dogs and owners scare me!

If I owned a large dog like an alsation etc I would simply muzzle them in public anyway.

If it stops people being afraid - saves a few people from attack - its worth it.

Some dogs you can tell are very very well trained and under control - but some - are clealry whilst cute and boundy etc are not well trained...

That's the funny thing, wofflingOn. The laws are already quite restrictive in some respects, (not something I disapprove of, tbh) yet so many owners don't seem aware of it!

I'm not sure if I ever want a dog, because when it comes right down to it, they're not my favorite animal. But if I had one? Hell would freeze over before I would knowingly take it near a scared human. It's like setting your dog up to be put down under the dangerous dogs act.