to lock DS out cos it's Sunday night and I want to sleep, tell me quickly please!

[flow4]

OK, I think I probably ABU, but what do I do? I'm just not good at dealing with night-time arguements when I'm tired, so I need some advice please...

I went to bed at 9ish tonight, to watch a DVD and then sleep. DS (17) had a friend in, and I'd said he needed to go home at 9:45, so I phoned at 9:55 (when my DVD finished) to check he'd gone (too sleepy to get out of bed)... Turns out DS himself has gone out, without telling me, and is now "at the takeaway".

I asked him to come home. He said he'd be back by 10:45. I said that was too late. I shouted, which never helps, but I'm tired. I asked him to come back by 10:15. He didn't. At 10:30 I texted him to say I'd lock the door in 5 mins. He still isn't back.

I'm cross. I'm tired. I've dug myself a hole cos if I lock him out, then either (a) he'll wake me up knocking to get in, or (b) he won't come home, and I won't be able to sleep and he probably won't make college in the morning either

Help, please! What should I do?? Can someone be the voice of reason for me please? Because left to my own devices I'd be texting swear words to him and plotting revenge and retribution in an unhealthy and unhelpful way

It's nasty to lock your son out in the cold just because he doesn't want to be treated like a child.

I didn't mean it nastily at all, the OP had the option of name changing.

I'm bowing out anyway. After seeing other threads the OP has posted there is much more than meets the eye and I'm not going to comment

I am amazed he can get out of the house with those apron strings holding him..

OP, whatever has happened in the past, he is an adult, and the issue is yours. You will drive him away if you carry on like this.

Well, I can understand why you are annoyed. especially if this goes on until later. I have the same when my DH goes out!! I can't sleep until he is home safe, he says he will be in at say 12ish and then i get a text at 2am saying 'in casino'. It's selfish. 17yos are selfish though. My sister is 17 and she does have a curfew of about midnight at the weekend.

Thankyou worra that is why I did it.

If I wanted to make a point nastily I would have linked the others.

I mentioned the other thread first so I'm sorry GoldShip has got all the flack. It just struck me that I thought I remembered an ongoing issue.

For me the link showed this wasn't a one off little rant in the face of lack of sleep / annoyance. Relevant. I usually don't like links or dredging up old threads but twice in just over a month?

Oh and as for what do you do? Defo don't lock him out. I think all you can do, is speak to him tomorrow and explain that he needs to think about the other people he is living with and that it is bad manners to leave the house without saying you are going out.

I agree Wanksock that is is bad manners, but I think the OP's son probably thought his Mum had fallen asleep watching her DVD or that she would kick up a fuss and embarrass him in front of his friend because he wanted to go out for a takeaway at 9.55 pm.

I am going to retract my comments actually, as I have now read OPs older posts.

Sorry OP, yanbu actually, and it sounds like he is making life bloody hard. :( so I apologise for my previous posts.

OP i think it maybe a good idea to get this thread deleted and if i have cause offence i do apologise