For this little girl to have put me off sending dc to private school.

[reallythough]

Name-changed as I have a feeling I'm going to get flamed and I'm a bit scared.

We are unsure of whether to send our dc to private school or state school at the moment, we have one starting school next September.

DC who will be starting school next year attends pre-school at a nursery attached to a private school which we really love, the staff are brilliant, dc is very happy and has lots of friends. Last week I picked dc up and walking out of the school an 11ish year old girl and her siblings ran out shouting 'oh Daddy you've got your new Range, look at Daddy's new Range everyone' on repeat about 5/6 times whilst looking around to show everyone that she didn't know (it was a particularly nice car).

I don't want our dc growing up surrounded by people who place importance on materialistic posessions at such a young age. It made me wonder whether a state school will be a more organic surrounding for dc to grow in rather than the quite narrow selection of people they will be socialising with at an independent.

I read something the other day about how we try to re-create our own childhood for our children and I went to private school but after juniors was desperately unhappy there and felt trapped. I am not criticising the girl at all but it did remind me that on the whole a lot of the people I went to private school with were very materialistic and quite narrow minded. AIBU for this to have jolted me to have a serious re-think?

Not sure that not being connected in some way is not a way in look at our cabinet :(

Things have changed but the shifts back and forth will carry on for sometime years of this structure will not change overnight.

i think it is human nature to prefer the people you are already acquainted with to the unknown candidate. Failing that, people go with the type they are most familiar with.

and many studies show that recruiters choose people they see as being like them. 'recruitment in their own image' amounts to nepotism.

I was simply making the point that some people, obviously not all, choose to spend their money on other things. I couldn't afford to send three children to private school either!

Which other comment do you not agree with?

Yep- people choose spend their money on other things- like food, and rent......

Disagree- if that wasn't the case everyone would have friends from all socio economic groups in adult life, but they rarely do.

Or horses seeker???

Really,not in my experience.I have friends from all walks of life.It's not that unusual unless you live in a bubble or don't look at people for who they are instead of where they've come from.

I've never said I couldn't afford private education, Scarlett!

Although, to be fair, our nags would probably make us enough to fund about 10 days of private education if we sent them to the glue factory.

So you think that an employer of a profit making organisation in this Economy is going to recruit someone who is most like them over someone who is going to generate the most income. Equally, an employee who has worked their way to the top on merit is a far more attractive prospect as they have got there through a natural aptitude, determination as opposed to those who are privately educated and it is unclear as to whether their results at 'A' level are largely due to the 'A' level factory they attended or natural intelligence.

"So you think that an employer of a profit making organisation in this Economy is going to recruit someone who is most like them over someone who is going to generate the most income"

not only do i believe that they do, there is evidence to support my belief. after all, they will no doubt see the person who is most like them as also the most worthy...

have a look at this or this

it's not a good thing - arguably a bad one- but it does happen and i don't see any point in pretending it doesn't.

Yes, unlike some I'm not ignorant to these realities but I read a paper, I listen to the radio, I know a few privileged people and it is not as it was. You are doing you children a disservice if you think it is important to teach your children shallow concerns of what constitutes being working class, middle class or upper class. Your children know that buying things excessively is an underclass attribute - big fucking deal. With that knowledge go forth dear children, this overpriced and overrated education has served you well! (??)

wha?

who are you replying to?

I notice Xenia has offered no retort. Come back Xenia, offer us your profound wisdom on these comments? I want to hear from those with exceptionally high IQs, it is not something I ever had the privilege to be surrounded by in my 'sinking comp'.

'sinking comp'

heheh, my old school has fully been demolished, and thanks to the recent downpour, is now a muddy bog.

I was referencing Xenia.

The current employment market is more competitive than ever. This is exactly why going to a private school is of benefit. If you have brains and contacts you will do better than someone who just has brains. Not all children who go to private schools are thick. My daughters school has just won financial times independent school of the year, based on their exceptional academic record.

I was the phone for quite a while. I just read this page. What am I being asked?

I know a lot about recruitment as I've had 3 chidlren graduate in the last few years. For the best jobs everyone is pretty brilliant, all have their 2/1 from the best places and all meet that criteria whether from comps or not. So then you are picking other things - like can they talk, have they some work experience, are they coherent, do they know what clothes to wear. I agree employers want the best candidates and not just those who are like them although I have seen departments which have become almost 100% gay for example or 100% Asian or male or public school when people recruit too narrowly. Most employers want the best candidates. However the candidates need to dres properly and speak properly and know how to spell and write and need to have enough in common with the customer you serve which may be the council tax payers of Tower Hamlets or your landed gentry customer base in a very few industries.

It is not true that good A levels from private schools are manufactured. Plenty of private schools are for rather thick children and they don't get stellar A level results by any means. They may get good added value and perhaps they will get a C not a D but you cannot get Prince Harry to get good A levels no matter how much you spend on an education. It is very unfair on private school children who gets As at A levels to say they have somehow been bought those. My daughters have worked exceedingly hard and taken 7 years to qualify and it has been a huge load of slog when friends are out at parties - they have the capacity to defer gratification something we can test in toddlers at age 3 - do you want 1 sweet now or 2 later.

I don't think 'contacts' from school are that advantageous tbh. 'Contacts' aren't going to help you pass your exams or get you into the best universities or get you the place on that graduate training scheme. They might help you get some limited work experience but apart from that, I think you're pretty much on your own until you build up your own work contacts.

I went to private school, my dd goes to a state school.

When I was at school there was a mix of people, mostly all had working parents. Some had parents who were millionaires, others had parents (like me) who were office workers/nurses/teachers etc. Some lived in big houses, some lived in small flats.

There probably weren't any dc with no working parents. But apart from one or two, the majority were just normal.

If you believe in their natural ability that much you would feel confident in not paying for their Education.

Of course people who attend Indepedent schools can be exceptionally bright, intelligent, thick. State schools also include an array of abilities but if your life is not cushioned by privilege and money and you have reached your potential intellectually and in your career, that is truly exceptional and more impressive an achievement!

"If you believe in their natural ability that much you would feel confident in not paying for their Education"

Rather than raising an eyebrow why don't you explain your opinion. I do not have a clue as to what you're trying to say by inserting the frowns face after a quote from myself?

"If you believe in their natural ability that much you would feel confident in not paying for their Education"

Yeah, we all send our DC to private school 'cos we have no confidence in their natural abilities. Do I need to explain myself further?