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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked my Mum to not buy DD a pram?

66 replies

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:04

About a week ago I mentioned to my Mum that DD aged 4 wants a pram...she hasn't got one so I said I would be buying her a nice one for Christmas.

Mum told me that there is a shop close to her with lot's of lovely, clssic toys that allows you to put things aside and pay them off over a period. This is great for me...as I'm on a budget....she then offered to drive me down there one day this week to choose one. Great...I said yes I'd love to thanks.

She has just rung me and said "I've just got DD a pram!" and I said "Why? I want to get her one for Christmas...." and she said "Oh it was a cheap wicker one...she can just have it now as a junk present..."

And I said no....I don[t want her to have two prams...you'll have to take it back Mum...

And she said "Why! It's just a cheap one!" and got VERY shrill on me.

I said "I dont want her to have two Mum...Id arranged with you that I would buy a really nice one for Christmas."

And she said "Well I can see you're very angry though I can't see why! i'll go now and let you get over yourself."

And I said "I'm not angry...I just want to choose a pram for DD for Christmas"

nd she said BYE"!! and went.

AIBU?

I don't want a "cheap junk pram just for now"...I don't want her to have two...it's wasteful and will take the shine off the one I was planning on getting. I feel really upset!

OP posts:
pictish · 22/09/2012 17:08

Yanbu - but then, neither was she I suppose...she's just not seeing it from the same perspective as you, so she thinks you're just being awkward. I don't think you are though....I understand what you're saying, and good for you for sticking to your guns.

This one needs talked out....you should explain to her about the wow factor, and how the cheap pram would take the shine away from the big reveal. Remember to thank her for her thoughtfulness though - she didn't do this to piss you off.

Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:09

She'll call me pathetic. I know she will. The shine's already off it isn't it?

OP posts:
pictish · 22/09/2012 17:10

She'd call you pathetic?

That's not nice.

minceorotherwise · 22/09/2012 17:10

I don't think you are being unreasonable
Could your mum keep it at her house so she can just play with it there?

Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:10

I just think it's WEIRD to do what she's done.....who does that? Person A says "I am buying X a THING for Christmas" so person B goes off and buys one before they can!

OP posts:
SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 22/09/2012 17:10

Argh no, YANBU. MIL did this when we said we were getting DS a scooter for Christmas. Why must they do it?!

Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:11

mince She could I suppose. But then when she does that, DD will ask to take things home and Mum always lets her.

OP posts:
smileyhappymummy · 22/09/2012 17:11

Don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Maybe a compromise might be to say that she can give dd the cheap pram after Christmas to keep and play with at her house? Then dd gets to have it, but it doesn't take the shine off the lovely one you will get her?

pictish · 22/09/2012 17:11

Has she form for thunder stealing this way?

Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:11

Peasant I think it's that they want the pleasure of providing the dream toy. That's all there is to it.

OP posts:
pictish · 22/09/2012 17:11

I agree with smiley - suggest that the cheap pram stay at your mum's house.

Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:13

Pict not really but she does have form for getting them sweets even when I tell her that DD1 has fillngs and so is not allowed them....and buying them loads of crappy bits and bobs.

She was SO angry that I think she may have seen the error of her ways but she'll never admit it.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:13

Pict I don't want to. DD will see it...know it is for her...she'll have a new pram to play with anyway!

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 22/09/2012 17:16

YANBU

Your Mum sounds like a bitch.

Imagine trying to compete with your daughter for her daughter's attention like that?

Just stop telling her important stuff.

She obviously has a screw loose.

thebody · 22/09/2012 17:16

So your mum knew you wanted a pram. She directed you to a good shop, she brought you one as a stop gap until you can afford to get the one you really want for Christmas.

God she is a right bitch isn't she op.

BlueSkySinking · 22/09/2012 17:17

Part of me thinks 'oh it's only a pram, whats the fuss' but I do think your mum should have run it past you first.

Original poster
BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 17:18

thebody WHy should DD have a pram as a "stop gap" instead of learning the value of things and waiting for one till Christmas? Why should she just GET one???

I had fuck all as a kid...maybe she's trying to make it up.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 22/09/2012 17:22

There's no such thing as a "stop gap" pram.

It is super bitchy and weird to buy a child something you know is planned as their Santa present.

A 4 year old won't think "oh great, a better pram" on Chrustmas morning.

They'll think "a pram? I've already got a pram."

dottyspotty2 · 22/09/2012 17:24

grandparents are there to spoil grandchildren without the responsibility/backlash of children getting things for no reason was a real bugbear of mine in the end I never mentioned anything to my parents as they had to get one over on all of us they where shite parents and thought they could make it up to us.

Stop mentioning what your children want or what you are thinking of buying them I've seen it many times on here as well.

ENormaSnob · 22/09/2012 17:32

Yanbu

I think your mum has been a bit sly tbh.

thebody · 22/09/2012 17:33

Maybe she just brought her granddaughter a present.

I actually can't belive the nastiness on this thread, she probably didn't think it was a major crime, Jesus Christ I feel very sorry for her to be honest. She probably thought it would be nice for your dd.

If my mum or sadly now dead mil had done this I would think it was rather a sweet thing to do.

Shocking that so many mumsnetters put the worst possible slant on a present... What tortured minds you have.

Viviennemary · 22/09/2012 17:35

I think YABU. But only a little bit. I agree with those folk who say let your Mum buy the pram and keep it at her house. And try not to mention what you are getting for your DD.

usualsuspect3 · 22/09/2012 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheresmygalaxy · 22/09/2012 18:22

YANBU, Shes probably thought she was doing something nice for her grand daughter, but trying to be the best in a way and getting her what she wanted. knowing that you were already planning on getting her one for christmas is spitefull.

im having the same issue with my own mil, i told her we were getting 3month old ds a walker for christmas which he'll be big enough for by then, shes rung last night to say she'd bought him 1 from argos. why do they do it ????

Narked · 22/09/2012 18:24

How is it a nice thing????

Your daughter says, 'I'm buying my DD a pram for Christmas.' The mother knows she's on a budget and suggests a nice place to get one, then she goes and buys a cheap one to give to the child instead. Total one up-manship. And what the hell is a 'stop-gap pram'?