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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think allowing children to pick teams has no place in a modern school

121 replies

ReallyTired · 21/09/2012 21:44

Ie. the set up when sadistic games teacher picks two favourites as team captains and then the team captains pick children for their team. The last three are the fat kid, the kid with smelly breath and the kid with hearing aids.

Surely its possible to have a hockey lesson in a primary school with without the painful experience of being last to be picked. I feel that a teacher could have games groups just like they have groups for maths and english. There could be two top groups, two middle groups and two bottom groups. Each group of children would be challenged competition wise and there would be no popularity contest.

My son's teacher has been using this approach and I have made a formal complaint to the head teacher. My son was the second last to be picked as he is very uncoorindated. (Ds has had child phyio in the past) He felt sorry for the kid with bad breathe that no one wanted on their team.

My son's school will not give out any prizes on sports days to the winners for fear of hurting the feelings of children who don't get prize. It is not logical that they don't chose to spare the feelings of the rejectee child who is put off sport for life.

OP posts:

kim147 · 21/09/2012 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ouluckyduck · 21/09/2012 21:46

Yanbu. And [shudder] at the memories...

AKissIsNotAContract · 21/09/2012 21:48

YANBU, they did this when I was at school, I was always picked last and it was awful.

FrameyMcFrame · 21/09/2012 21:48

Horrific, hope you get this stopped :(

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/09/2012 21:48

You are taking it a bit far by suggesting they set for PE, but the school does seem to be contradicting itself if they won't even do sports day!

I don't completely disagree with picking teams, but I think it does have to be done with some thought. It's not something that is appropriate for every class.

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 21/09/2012 21:49

yanbu
I have been the kid not picked and it stays with you.
I do not think any child should have to go through that ever

Itsjustafleshwound · 21/09/2012 21:50

YABU - it might not be fair or pleasant, but it is just the law of the jungle .... what help is it if the school try to sugar coat reality ...

BeatTheClock · 21/09/2012 21:52

Blimey do they still do that?

Ah PE at school - if ever there was a subject to put you off for life there it is. I guess many many people have an awful PE based story from their past.

Doodlekitty · 21/09/2012 21:52

While I sort of agree with you, and always find a way of randomly generating teams, it's still soul destroying for the kids who are not good at sports. The other kids reaction (often a moan followed by a telling off from teacher) is just as demoralising.

As the teacher who was the last picked fat kid at school I've tried everything, nothing works when it comes to team games

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 21:53

YANBU, the children who DD1 go to school with used it as an effective technique of isolating her further than she was.

thefirstmrsrochester · 21/09/2012 21:53

YA most definately NBU!!!!!
Humiliating and outdated.

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 21:54

But then compared to us all having to shower together after PE (girls and boys separated obviously ) getting picked last is small fry

I had a period solidly for 5 years

EvilTwins · 21/09/2012 21:57

I am that you felt the need to make a "formal" complaint. Really- do you have nothing better to do? I really hope that the head teacher smiles, nods and then does nothing about it. Apart from anything else, I would be genuinely amazed if this is how it is ALWAYS done (and no, I won't be taking the word of your child for that- particularly not at this end of the academic year). I teach drama- another lesson where groups/teams are used most lessons. Today, I appointed 4 captains (not "favourites"- carefully thought about choices to ensure that the class mixed and communicated effectively) and asked them to pick teams. Yesterday, I let the same class chose their own groups. In their previous lesson, groups were based on target grades. Don't assume that the PE teacher is being lazy. You have no idea how much thought and preparation goes into groupings- and evidence needs to be presented if required. Maybe the teacher in question is doing the "pick your teams" thing NOW, but I would be very surprised if this is the way it is done every lesson.

BeatTheClock · 21/09/2012 22:01

Omg those 'showers'. Not to get clean but for humiliation purposes only. And our showers were always full of crane-flies.

Dd doesn't have showers anymore thank god, but her pe teacher sounds as awful as mine was. Why do they have to be so unpleasant?

Softlysoftly · 21/09/2012 23:07

I hated having to tell if you had your period, how bloody awful.

And don't get me started on the vest and pants deal if you forgot kit

NellyJob · 21/09/2012 23:10

YANBU - what a way to 'teach' sports - my kids' primary did this too.
I suppose it does teach kids that life's a bitch, at least.

aldiwhore · 21/09/2012 23:11

I don't think its a fair way of doing things.

Names out of a hat, you learn better how to get on with people you don't much like.

Picking your own small groups for drama is different in my opinion. Picking teams that are say, larger than four, should be done randomly at Primary level.

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 23:11

I didn't mind saying about periods if it got me out of the communal showers Softly.

But worse than pants and vests in PE, is just wearing your pants because you've not got your swimsuit and you've been told it doesn't matter because you haven't got anything 'up there' (that was my mum not school though)

Seenenoughtoknow · 21/09/2012 23:21

Evil twins - how can you pretend to know all teachers and how they do things? I was very good at sport at school - was never picked last, but felt really awful for the poor kids who were. Both of my sports teachers were bloody evil with respect to the picking of teams and seemed to not understand at all that some children just didn't enjoy or weren't good at sport - somehow they played a part in the cruelty just by allowing it to happen week in and week out, and by watching (and just smiling - as you say) as it was going on. Your way might be better, but it doesn't excuse the OP's child's teacher for laziness on the subject. Thank goodness you don't teach at my DS and DD's school if that's your attitude!

SirGOLDBoobs · 21/09/2012 23:27

YADNBU. I was bullied horrifically at school, and this humiliation was just another way for them to get at me.

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold · 21/09/2012 23:29

I had the always picked last thing too.
In fact it went a bit further than that. At the end of the choosing teams bit they used to fight over NOT having me on the team
"no you have Dark we had to have her last time" etc.
Both PE teachers knew what was going on and did FUCK ALL.
So i walked out of a PE lesson and refused to take part any more until the teacher sorted out the bullying. (did her fucking job)
A couple of years later the same bastard kids who were treating me like shit asked me to take part in the relay on sports day cos they didnt have enough people to do it.
I wondered why they were asking me if i was so shit at it.
They said they were one short and just needed me to make up the numbers.
So i then said "but you will be moaning and having a go at me if i cant run fast enough"
"oh we wont" they insisted.
Well going by past experience and the way you have treated me in PE lessons i think thats bollocks.
So i refused to do it and to this day im proud that i stood my ground and refused to be used by them!

BackforGood · 21/09/2012 23:30

EvilTwins is putting forward an opinion - a knowledgable opinion, just as you are Seen. You have no idea that the teacher isn't doing what she said, any more than ETs knows for sure that she is. We all have to make some assumptions on here. We all, also come to the board with different experiences, which is why it's useful to hear "from the other side" as it were, mentioning things some people might not have thought of.

youonlysingwhenyourewinning · 21/09/2012 23:31

I hate this! ...and I say it as someone who was picked amongst the first in sports

It's a horrendous way to make kids feel even more shit about themselves in sport than they already do.

My dd's school do set for PE though ...I thought that was typical?

BeatTheClock · 21/09/2012 23:45

It's a crappy way to pick teams or groups if it humiliates the less able or popular in the group.

Nodding and smiling and doing nothing about a legitimate concern? Like stepping back in time to my school days when I hear that.

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold · 21/09/2012 23:48

Todays school bully is tomorrows workplace bully.

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