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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think allowing children to pick teams has no place in a modern school

121 replies

ReallyTired · 21/09/2012 21:44

Ie. the set up when sadistic games teacher picks two favourites as team captains and then the team captains pick children for their team. The last three are the fat kid, the kid with smelly breath and the kid with hearing aids.

Surely its possible to have a hockey lesson in a primary school with without the painful experience of being last to be picked. I feel that a teacher could have games groups just like they have groups for maths and english. There could be two top groups, two middle groups and two bottom groups. Each group of children would be challenged competition wise and there would be no popularity contest.

My son's teacher has been using this approach and I have made a formal complaint to the head teacher. My son was the second last to be picked as he is very uncoorindated. (Ds has had child phyio in the past) He felt sorry for the kid with bad breathe that no one wanted on their team.

My son's school will not give out any prizes on sports days to the winners for fear of hurting the feelings of children who don't get prize. It is not logical that they don't chose to spare the feelings of the rejectee child who is put off sport for life.

OP posts:
NellyJob · 21/09/2012 23:51

today's school bully is tomorrow's PE teacher

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 23:51

Good for you Dark, it's good to look back and know you took control back over the situation.

I wouldn't have put in a complaint about this either, or think it's because the teacher is being lazy, but it is a bit odd for someone to not know it could affect a child if they're consistently being picked last and then to carry on doing it.

Maybe you only notice if you've had it done to you?

No, surely that can't be right.

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold · 21/09/2012 23:56

Agent its at worst sadistic and at best wilful neglect on the teachers part.
And i knew damn well those arseholes would have had a go at me on sports day. All they cared about was themselves. i was very badly bullied at school and regret that i didnt stick up for myself more.
Im proud of standing my ground in this case though.

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold · 21/09/2012 23:57

Agree with Nelly. Spot on.

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 23:59

I have the same regrets Dark, they're not easy to live with.

I think I overcompensate now Grin

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold · 22/09/2012 00:05

Yes i know what you mean. I stand up for myself a lot more now. But unlike men who are seen as assertive we are seen as aggresive simply because we are female.

LadyBeagleEyes · 22/09/2012 00:09

I thought this sort of thing disappeared long ago.
It brings back the worse memories of sport in school for me.
It encourages bullying and is so, so wrong.
Your dc is at the wrong school, or you have to actively discourage it.

THEMardy · 22/09/2012 00:13

I was always picked last. Dreadful practice.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 22/09/2012 00:15

You are very much not being unreasonable.

THEMardy · 22/09/2012 00:18

PE in the 70s and 80s put me off sport for years

sawseesaw · 22/09/2012 07:29

I was always one of the last to be picked, just before the really big kid and the kid with a limp. It is evil.
I'm a primary teacher now and wouldn't dream of doing it, but, when I was training and we had our 2 days on PE, the tutor said it was a good idea to get the enthusiastic children to pick teams. I tried to disagree and she wasn't having any of it so I walked out in a huff.
You are not bu to complain.

BlueSkySinking · 22/09/2012 07:38

I agree with you

PetitIndice · 22/09/2012 07:41

Yanbu
It's unnecessary and just lazy planning on behalf of the teacher IMO

Kalisi · 22/09/2012 07:49

YADNBU!! Disgusting out of date practise that does nothing whatsoever for 'character building' and everything for bullying and lowering self esteem. It does make me angry that every other subject seems to have a support system for children that are a bit behind, except PE that just seems to humiliate the weaker kids. Sorry probably a bit of assumption going on there but always being picked last obviously effects kids as I'm still getting angry about it 20 years later!!

DowagersHump · 22/09/2012 08:19

I'm really shocked this goes on still - it's crap. Being always picked last made me not bother to do anything - the hockey ball would fly towards me and I'd just stand there, watching it.

You don't want me on your team, I'm sure as hell not going to help you win.

What good does that do anyone?

YADNBU

OhSoSimple · 22/09/2012 08:41

Seems odd that they allow this but no prizes for winners?! YANBU to feel hurt for your DS.....but (as this is aibu) would it change the fact that no one wants your son on their team.? Wouldn't they still sigh and grumble when he gets put on their team? Will formally complaining really change things for your DS?

marshmallowpies · 22/09/2012 08:54

Doodlekitty yes, but a teacher noticing the moan and telling the kids off at least shows the teacher notices the issue. I went through years of feeling I was invisible in PE lessons, always picked last and the teacher never even acknowledging what was going on. So you definitely do better to pull them up on it.

The only person who got picked after me was my best friend who was disabled. If the only disabled child in a class was being picked last in PE even now, I'd be horrified. Now it would be classed as discrimination, then, it was just the way people were treated.

Proudnscary · 22/09/2012 08:56

My kids are very sporty so this has never bothered me and I've never really thought about it!

But I was shit at sport and always picked last.

However, I genuinely didn't give a fuck.

Because I knew I was good at other things. Things I thought were far more important and intereting.

THEMardy · 22/09/2012 08:57

I was luckily good at other things proud. But I still hated being picked last.

Rosebud05 · 22/09/2012 09:00

It's good that you didn't give a fuck about being picked last proudnscary but unfortunately this thread shows that lots of people did and do.

I think it's horrible and unnecessary. I assume it's an out-moded way to create balanced teams, and it should be the teacher's job to do this.

teacherandguideleader · 22/09/2012 09:01

On my training we were told specifically not to allow this to happen. I always put the children into teams myself - trying to mix up the ability. It is awful to allow children to constantly be left until last. However, on my teaching practice I did witness one teacher who used to say things like 'right - all the ginger kids in that team please'.

I do have one class that I allow to sort themselves into teams - 15 year old girls. I don't do it as a formal 'picking of teams' though. However, I know my class well and they all respect each other - for example the girl who is not good at PE is great at academic subjects. They are all good friends and mature when it comes to grouping themselves.

I haven't really had problems with kids moaning about having someone put on their team - in most cases although they might not pick the child, they wouldn't be nasty to them. If that did happen though it should be challenged by the teacher. Every child has their strengths - the kid who is good at sports might need the help of the one that is good at maths one day.

Personally, I would be having a word with the school. In an age when we should be promoting everyone participating in activity for their health, this practice is only going to demoralise those who are not naturally athletic.

Lonecatwithkitten · 22/09/2012 09:01

We have setting for PE it just makes it worse there is an elite squad and a development squad. But it is not changed for different sports so you can be an excellent swimmer, but because you are rubbish at hockey and netball you are still the development squad in the summer term. I don't think there is a right answer to PE.

Original poster
ReallyTired · 22/09/2012 09:01

I just come back to my thread.

My complaint has been upheld and senior management have reassured me that it will never happen again. They agreed with me that such a practice cannot exist in a school which claims to be supportive of children with special needs.

My confidence in my son's school has been restored.

OP posts:
BlueCanary · 22/09/2012 09:04

Yanbu Op. Its a horrible experience and a lazy way to do things.

I remember always being picked 3rd from last, and the huge relief that I happened to have been deemed 'better' than the 2 poor sods who the teams would fight NOT to have. Nice Sad

Proudnscary · 22/09/2012 09:15

Mardy/Rose - I appreciate others do care, I get that. I suppose I meant my post to be inspiring rather than heartless!

Tell your dc they can't be good at everything. They are not good at sport but they are bloody brilliant at XXX!