to be jealous of my friend with only one DC?

[Mooq]

Name changed because I'm a bit ashamed of this. I have two DC and would hate for them to every find out (as if!) that I've posted this...

I sometimes wish I'd only had one DC. Not that I don't want one of mine (love them completely and equally), but I think life can be a lot more pleasant with one.

I have a friend with 'just' one, and she seems to have the best of both worlds. As well as all the lovely stuff that comes along with having a DD, she and her DH seem to have a lot of time for themselves. They also have plenty of dosh to spend, relatively speaking, although we must have a similar sort of income. Little things, like their house is immaculate. It's always peaceful when you go in there, and there aren't toys and washing about like there are at ours. The living areas all seem nice and 'adulty', although the garden has play stuff and so does the DD's bedroom apparently. Their DD is pleasant to be around and can have a nice conversation with an adult, probably because that's what she has most of the time at home. She's also doing extremely well at school (although only in year 3 so I suppose anything could change), but you can see she's very bright and that her parents spend a lot of time encouraging her and helping her with school work and other things - time that doesn't have to be shared with other DC, clearly. Basically, they seem to have a lot more fun and a lot less 'drudge'! For example, at the weekend they got up and climbed a hill and watched the sunrise - they can do that because there are no other DC to think about. There are a million examples of things like this.

Sometimes I think that their DD must be lonely, being an only, but she's popular and seems to have a lot of playdates. I envy the parents for not having to listen to sibling squabbling.

Sigh. It just seems a bit like that situation on Outnumbered, with the perfect neighbours next door (although we have 2 DC and they have 1!)

So, AIBU? Is jealousy just an ugly trait and I should count my blessings? All two of them?!

Oh, just thought of another - they're always immaculately turned-out on the school run. They have the time!

I have two and often they are lovely together and enjoy each others company, and often they are not!
Mostly I am glad they have each other as I am one of three and although we are not close we are there if we need each other.
However, I did recently think how different my dds life would have been of we'd not had ds. He is a bit of a tear away who loves to wind her up and she is an attention seeker. Without him she'd have had much more attention and also would not be getting told off all the time for retaliating and hitting him.
I felt quite sad and disloyal to even think this as ds is also an absolute poppet and I wouldn't not have him for the world ( & the more he grows up the easier he gets)

I have three, all close ish in age. I recently had a still birth and am going to try again for at least one more.
My house is nice and clean, we always look clean and well dressed, I'm not frazzled in any way, I have time for myself and my DH. I also work full time.
Each to their own.

Bongaloo - you should look at wifeofdoom's comment near the start of the thread. This is where all this has come from I believe and is quite nasty, imho.

I cant imagine not having any of mine.
Of course her daughter has more time with her parents and has more money spent on her but for all you know her daughter might have moaned all the way up that hill thinking "id rather be in bed than watching a sodding sunrise"
Having said that i think f you really wanted to you should look at thingswhch really bother you and think about whats going wrong, things like the school run etc you could try to make more organized.

lucky, I don't see how what she has said is any more upsetting than LeFreak saying earlier that she feels guilty.
People are allowed to have their own feelings that they can't help without everyone taking it as a criticism surely.

Also, declaring you'd kill yourself or become a junkie piles on a sort of survivors' guilt - like a person is rather indecent or a freak for being able to live on.

zeno I am so very sorry for your loss, obviously I don't know what it's like and I can't say for sure how I would react, and I would never pass judgement on how another parent would act.

But I stand by my right to speculate. It's something I worry about from time to time and it feels good to get it out in the open - although I am very sorry if it offends.

I am 40 years old and by now, I pretty much know how I react to tragedy. When I was younger (teenager) I suffered from depression and tried to kill myself. I also turned to drugs for a period of time to escape how I was feeling. So saying I'd kill myself or turn into a junkie doesn't come from nowhere. I wish I could say I'd be one of those people who would use my tragedy to help others, set up a charity or whatever as some people have done, but that is very unlikely!

Forgot to bold the first sentence, which were zeno's post, not mine (otherwise it's a bit of a confusing post).