to feel sad that people want their childrens independance so fast?

[nokidshere]

Lots of posts on here this week about how old you were when you did certain things.

I think its really sad that so many are saying "I did my own washing/cooking/cleaning etc from the age of 12/13/14" "My mother never gave me money again after I got a job at 14" and so on.

My own two boys are prefectly capable of doing all of the above but why would I want them to? Sometimes they offer to do stuff and sometimes I ask them to but I would not be up in arms about doing all this stuff for them for a few more years yet. They don't need or deserve the responsibility of adulthood at this tender age. Surely its enough that they are taught to do these things without actually making them do everything for themselves?

I don't wash/cook and clean for my children from some misguided sense of wanting to keep them children for longer, I do it because I love them and want them to have a happy, stress free childhood. After all, they have many years of being an adult - far more than they have of being a child.

Also I met someone at uni who asked me how to crack an egg? Not boil even. How to crack an egg. WTAF?

Maybe they were raised by feral vegans in the woods?

Just think, if DCs do their fair share of the chores, Mum will have more spare time to do fun, physically or intellectually stimulating things with them instead of slaving away in the kitchen while they footle with their Xboxes.

I think im far more relaxed than most on here re this after reading the other posts. Growing up i had very little free time due to chores and being expected to babysit younger siblings and heavily resented being the oldest.

I teach DS the odd thing but he has plenty of time to be just a child before having worry about house stuff. As long as he learns before he goes off to uni or first job im not overly fussed.

I don't think it's completely obvious how to crack an egg - it's quite a controversial subject (crack it on the flat of the counter or the sharp side of the bowl, with a knife) maybe they were trying to find out something about you by how you did it?

"My dh on the other hand did JACK SHIT as a child because, as my MIL points out, 'they were so busy with their music and sport and clubs I just thought they didn't have time."

Indeed.

It is really lazy, indulgent parenting to give children millions of expensive leisure activities and hobbies (which get them out of the house) and not teach them to do any chores.

I was expected to keep my room clean (which I did occasionally), my mum did all our washing, ironing, cooking etc and we were expected to help out whenever she needed us to and emptied the dishwasher etc. She did all this until I left home in our early 20's.

I am perfectly capable of looking after my house, husband and children in spite of not being forced to do lots of stuff whilst living at home. The important thing is my mum taught us what to do and her brilliant example meant that we were able to do what we should in our own homes.

Of course I would always expect my boys to clear up after themselves and help out around the house but I would never insist on them doing their washing or ironing etc all the time (unless they are here till they are 25!!!)

I think it is so important to teach independence but npt to go over the top!

Similar experience to MadameCupcake here: while I lived at home my Mother did all the washing and cooking, a cleaner did other household stuff and ironed. It does not mean I did not learn how to cook/clean/keep house. On the contrary, I was used to a very high standard on all of those and have been striving to keep it since. DH boarded from 10 and was expected to cook/wash etc when he was home but it did not result in his being tidier or better at keeping house etc. He can tolerate much higher levels of untidiness than I and at nearly 40 still does fold his clothes at night (but is lovely in many other respects).
So in our experience being taught how to do things and regularly having the benefit of seeing them done to a high standard is a better way of learning to look after oneself...

Sorry, at 40 still does NOT fold his clothes at night...

SuoceraBlues

well up a thread, well said!

I agree with the OP

agree with the OP in hating people doing things no-one does? Good for you