Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that the Chief Constable chose the words..

999 replies

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:20

"gentle" and "a chatterbox" respectively to describe the two women police officers who were murdered on duty yesterday.

Can you imagine those words ever being used to describe a man?

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 20/09/2012 11:42

Don't we infantilise men? Maybe we should then. However, given the society we have, "young girls" works. You don't like our society? I agree with you. But there are 100,0001 other places to change it. Hell, probably 100,001 uses of infantilising words than the words of a shocked man, a few hours after a murder. Times where there are no circumstances like regionalisms, or shock or grief.

Sallyingforth · 20/09/2012 11:43

It is a colloquial term on many of the response teams
I have accepted there is an argument about challenging it
But not on this thread and not about this particular case - please

Unfortunately SharonGless it seems that either they are not listening to you or they choose to ignore.

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 20/09/2012 11:46

tbh I think the op was wrong to start this thread, she was wrong to use a link to a terrible murder to get her point across.
it is a shame as if she had started a general thread with no sick link, it could have been interesting.
she lost the debate when she used the murder of 2 woman as her starting point.

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 11:47

I can see though that some people have had such a strong emotional reaction that they feel it inappropriate to discuss anything other than that emotional reaction.

^^ again

Unfortunately, people will discuss whatever they want, it is probably better that those that don't want to stay away rather than trying to stop those that do.

MadgeHarvey · 20/09/2012 11:48

No bupcakes - you won't. But I do applaud your persistence in trying. Sadly you are farting against thunder here.

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 11:49

threeOrange, IT WAS THE DESCRIPTION OF THE TWO MURDERED PROFESSIONAL POLICE OFFICERS THAT WAS THE POINT.

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 20/09/2012 11:49

then why not start it in feminism topic? this is AIBU

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 11:49

It concerns all of us who are women. It is not something to be shoehorned away.

EasyFromNowOn · 20/09/2012 11:50

Why, Hully? If those who disagree had stayed away, then seeker's factually inaccurate point would have stood unchallenged. Is that helpful to anyone?

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 20/09/2012 11:50

but then you have to accept that people will disagree with you.
and find this thread sick

gordyslovesheep · 20/09/2012 11:52

and - sorry but that is supposed to mean no one can challenge that?

it's WRONG - it might be the norm but that doesn't mean it's RIGHT

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 11:53

No, I mean those who are upset by the discussion and don't even want to have it should perhaps stay away, not those who disagree

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 20/09/2012 11:54

but there is more than one debate.
you can't decide who can join in.
you can't suggest people stay away.

gordyslovesheep · 20/09/2012 11:54

sorry that was to the point made by someone that because an actual police office had said it was the norm to call women 'girls' we should all shut up and not talk about it any more

I am not a police woman ...I am however a woman...in society ...who has the same right as anyone to object to partonising language - hth x

Blistory · 20/09/2012 11:55

Similarly, no-one can dictate that the discussion shouldn't be had.

QuickLookBusy · 20/09/2012 11:56

If you want a proper debate, you do not post in AIBU.

Every one knows that.

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 11:56

Are you being deliberately obtuse threeOrange?

Pagwatch · 20/09/2012 11:57

I think that the whole 'this thread is offensive' ship has sailed tbh.

I said way upthread that I thought seeker had a point but I stepped away because an aibu barney seemed inappropriate. I think posting this in aibu rather than 'news' let alone feminist topic, was tasteless but thatis a matter of personal judgement.

But those who continue to fight about it whilst tryingto take the moral high ground about that are failing IMHO.
You can't loftily announce that's thread is offensive and disrespectful whilst continuing to bludgeon other people.

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 11:58

I don't agree QLB, there is no need for irrationality and nonsense under any topic. We are not children, or indeed "young girls" we are grown women who can surely behave ina civilised and rational fashion?

Blistory · 20/09/2012 12:03

AIBU is used for all sorts of threads. Some light hearted, some serious. Are you seriously suggesting that posters aren't able to distinguish ?

QuickLookBusy · 20/09/2012 12:03

Well I don't agree Hully.

Anyone with any knowledge of MN, knows with absolute certainty that if you want a proper debate, you do not start a thread in AIBU.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/09/2012 12:04

Sadly, the ones that should have been on here, the serving police officers and their spouses have left this thread.
They are the people I want opinions from, and one made some very strong points yesterday, but was too pissed off to argue any more.

Hullygully · 20/09/2012 12:05

Well I think that's a bit of a mad statement because I do know MN really quite well and I and others often have long and rational discussions under its auspices.

Perhaps we frequent different threads?

QuickLookBusy · 20/09/2012 12:09

I'm not the only one to have that view of AIBU.

iknowwho · 20/09/2012 12:09

I have been thinking about this for two days now.
I have put myself in the position as if it had happened to my kids.
Impossible but I always try to see as many POV as I can.

If a statement or tribute that I had some input or had apprived to describe my child even if they are a grown adult had been altered to keep some members of society I hadn't met or likely to meet I would be hopping in rage and grief. I would(I'm very much sure) like the comments from the colleagues read out as they were intended.

If the statement that the CC read out had been out my child apart from the misery and numbness I would feel I am sure I would be able to take some comfort with those words maybe eventually.
I certainly wouldn't be offended.