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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that the Chief Constable chose the words..

999 replies

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:20

"gentle" and "a chatterbox" respectively to describe the two women police officers who were murdered on duty yesterday.

Can you imagine those words ever being used to describe a man?

OP posts:
ColouringIn · 19/09/2012 17:55

Cannot beiieve his thread...using the deaths of two women to make a point..unbelievable.

Moaning about the words family, colleagues and friends used to describe their loved ones.

How utterly heartless and cruel.....as I said previously seeker why don't you take it up with them....am sure they really need to hear your words of wisdom while they grieve

Worst of all is that you haven't got the common sense to realise you have started a really stupid thread so are defending your idiocy to the hilt. Pathetic.

FermezLaBouche · 19/09/2012 17:56

Well I'm disagreeing and bowing out as there's clearly loads been discussed before I saw this thread.
Just really that by my BOSS I'd rather be described in the terms I mentioned. By my family and friends...whatever words they see fit to use.

Original poster
seeker · 19/09/2012 17:57

If the family want to call her a girl- that's obviously fine. But it's not fine for the police hierarchy to call her a girl.

OP posts:
Isityouorme · 19/09/2012 17:57

[applauds colouringin]

Isityouorme · 19/09/2012 17:57

Seeker, really..... Really..... You know shit about this .... Get a grip.

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 18:02

If we stick to what the actual thread is about in a non-emotional way then she has a very very valid point. I winced when he spoke I really did.

LydiasMiletus · 19/09/2012 18:03

seeker why not? Because you think its condescending? The CC should have told the grieving people he spoke to 'choose different words as some people may not like it. I know you Re grieving buy can you come up with something more pc?'.get over it.
Also I note that your first post didn't mention the term 'young girl' but that is the one you are defending.
Can you say back track?

Empusa · 19/09/2012 18:05

"it's still utterly, utterly shit that two police officers were lured to an address and murdered based on the uniform they were wearing"

That's the other thing isn't it? They were murdered because that fuckwit saw them only as the physical embodiment of their job, he will be congratulated by people who also do not see past the fact that they were police officers, using words like "chatterbox", and "bubbly" is drawing attention to the fact they were more than their job. In a way that "hardworking" and "dedicated" don't.

QuickLookBusy · 19/09/2012 18:08

I'm origionally from the general area where this tragedy happened. I still have family up there. I have been called a "girl" more times than I care to remember, until I was about 35. I have lived down south for many years and have never heard anyone over the age of 18 referred to as "a girl". I can say the same about terms such as "love" and "dear" .

I think people are being offended by regional endearments which family, friends and colleagues are perfectly entitled to use.

GoldShip · 19/09/2012 18:10

'Say for instance you have called for police assistance and a high ranking officer in charge says to you they'd send round PC whoever because she's very bubbly and a bit of a chatterbox???? I'd tell him to cock off and stop being so condescending.'

What the actual fuck. How is that a bloody comparison. Seriously though. Im speechless. They are dead. He was speaking warmly of them. Because they are dead. And he has been effected by it.

iffysquiffy · 19/09/2012 18:11

My god these poor 'girls' were shot in the head and had a hand grenade thrown at them. You are insensitive and way off the scale with your stupid post op, shame on you.

MadgeHarvey · 19/09/2012 18:14

It's clear what the majority opinion is here and it's clear that the OP is never ever going to concede that she is in any way wrong. That being so, and to save the blood pressure of 99% of the posters here I can't help thinking it's time to let this go. The very idea that family of these two officers could come across this heap of steaming radfemcrap fills me with horror.

GothAnneGeddes · 19/09/2012 18:16

YANBU. I noticed it too.

P.S I find the "THIS is why I'm not a feminist" proclamations v tedious. One thread in Mumsnet is really all it takes?!

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 18:16

I'm also not grieving for them due to the fact that I didn't know them. These people put their lives on the line for us, male or female every day and that commands respect. They also know that they may not be going home once reporting for duty.

However, it doesn't mean that certain issues, as seeker has voiced, should be dismissed or taken totally out of context.

limitedperiodonly · 19/09/2012 18:16

You don't have to resort to bland words instead of words like chatterbox and bubbly - which are in fact, bland cliches in themselves.

How about: witty, funny, friendly, caring, outspoken, brave, clever, loved, admired, envied, warm, affectionate and a million other compliments up to and including 'bloody good officer'.

How about taking a short time to talk to a few people so you can use some personal anecdotes of things they did? And if you're going to say there wasn't time, let me assure you that there always is.

It's a chief constable's job to phrase a speech so that we know just how valuable his officers were not just to him and to the community.

Chatterbox and bubbly are fine if they come from friends and relations struggling to describe a loved colleague in their grief and not used to being quoted. But I expect more from a chief constable and I think the rest of you should too.

squeakytoy · 19/09/2012 18:18

but he was quoting what OTHERS had said!

SigmundFraude · 19/09/2012 18:18

This is a really badly timed, ultra insensitive thread..and I've read some doozies.

Bristling with misplaced indignation and totally lacking in humanity. It's probably not a good time to try and weave your personal tenets into a tragedy seeker.

Empusa · 19/09/2012 18:19

"Chatterbox and bubbly are fine if they come from friends and relations struggling to describe a loved colleague in their grief and not used to being quoted. But I expect more from a chief constable and I think the rest of you should too."

But he was quoting the friends and relations Confused

Original poster
seeker · 19/09/2012 18:20

"this heap of steaming radfemcrap"

Now that really is a bizarre thing to say!

OP posts:
GoldShip · 19/09/2012 18:20

gothanne "one thread is all it takes. "

Nope. This is just one example.

Original poster
seeker · 19/09/2012 18:21

There is loads of misplaced indignation, but none from me!

OP posts:
Empusa · 19/09/2012 18:23

For people talking about how important words are there's an awful lot of not reading all the words

QuickLookBusy · 19/09/2012 18:29

Exactly Empus. It will go on and on as the thread is now so long, posters will not read it all. Those who haven't seen the TV or read a newspaper correctly over the past 24 hours will take the thread title as true.

The thread title is incorrect.

Mellower · 19/09/2012 18:29

Confused easily

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 18:31

There's also a lot of out context "wailing" going on and feminist bashing which is sad, very sad. These wonderful strong women were in a male dominated workforce, the commanding officer highlighted that in my eyes. Very bad judgement on his behalf.