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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry that the Chief Constable chose the words..

999 replies

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:20

"gentle" and "a chatterbox" respectively to describe the two women police officers who were murdered on duty yesterday.

Can you imagine those words ever being used to describe a man?

OP posts:

Original poster

seeker · 19/09/2012 17:28

I didn't say anyone ahold trot out impersonal stuff. Just that people in positions of authority should choose thwri words with care.

OP posts:

TapirBackRider · 19/09/2012 17:32

It's obvious that it doesn't matter what anyone else says on this thread, the OP has her mind firmly made up that she is right; nothing we say is going to make any difference.

Either that or the OP is enjoying stirring up other posters; the thread was slipping down the AIBU list, 20 mins had gone by without a post and they pop back up for another little go.

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 17:32

Yes, seeker of course people in his position should choose their words with more care. The man has made a bit of an arse of himself here.

Original poster

seeker · 19/09/2012 17:33

Cakeismysaviour. I'm really sorry- and you have made it practically ip possible to reply- but a 12 year old is a child. Chatterbox is a word used about children, and sometimes women- but never men. And certainly never in the public sphere.

OP posts:

cakeismysaviour · 19/09/2012 17:34

The man has made a bit of an arse of himself here.

No thats just yourself, seeker and a few others.

Original poster

seeker · 19/09/2012 17:36

"AIBU list, 20 mins had gone by without a post and they pop back up for another little go"

Sorry- I didn't notice. I came back to the computer, saw a comment and replied.

OP posts:

FermezLaBouche · 19/09/2012 17:36

I don't understand the venomous reactions of some people here. I thought exactly the same as Seeker when I read the article. The words chosen were not appropriate in the context. "Bubbly," "chatterbox," - what's wrong with hard working, dedicated, respected?

EasyFromNowOn · 19/09/2012 17:36

I will say again, it is clear the Chief Constable did choose his words with care. He chose words given to him by those who knew the deceased officers best, and shared them with the public. The statement he made is clearly meant to personalise the officers and illustrate how their deaths will affect friends and family. It was clearly not just to describe how good they were at their jobs.

I cannot think that a statement which only described how professional someone was at their job would be a good idea, or would in any way help the public, to whom the statement was made, to understand the characters of the deceased officers.

I will also say that there is possibly the slightest point in the use of the word 'girls' by the Police Federation spokesman, however criticising the Chief Constable's words is just wrong.

cricketballs · 19/09/2012 17:37

Bob Marley wrote a song called Mr chatterbox - does that count for the £10?

EasyFromNowOn · 19/09/2012 17:38

Fermez - because the words were those of the officers friends and family, repeated by the Chief Constable. Do you really want your friends to describe you as hard working, in the event of your untimely death?

Empusa · 19/09/2012 17:38

""Bubbly," "chatterbox," - what's wrong with hard working, dedicated, respected?"

The former are warm affectionate words, the latter much cooler and more distanced.

GoldShip · 19/09/2012 17:40

If I die I do hope I don't get described as something as mundane as 'respected'. I'd rather be bubbly anyday!

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 17:42

Will have to agree to disagree here. To me his words did sound rather wrong when used to describe grown women and I find myself very just in stating this. I also think it wasn't his place to try to be so "personal", that should be left to their families.

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 19/09/2012 17:43

Clipped - that's the part that's interesting. But I think it's indicative of the extra/different shock of women being killed

LydiasMiletus · 19/09/2012 17:44

Firstly a hetro sexual couple CAN have a civil ceremony. They can not have a civil partnership. Different thing.
Any victim has their life panned out in the papers. Had she have been marrying a man it would, 100%, have been in there.

Is the OP saying the CC should have refused to use certain words collegues and family used because they are not 'pc' and may offend some so called feminists?
That's just talking bollocks now. Or more so than earlier.

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 17:46

I'd also far rather be respected than known as bubbly in such an establishment.

TapirBackRider · 19/09/2012 17:48

My bad Lydias - I was posting and cooking tea at the same time. I do know better as I was 'best woman' at my cousins civil partnership ceremony!

ColouringIn · 19/09/2012 17:51

As has been said numerous times to you seeker, the term girl was used by family ......anything else you want to criticise them for while they grieve?

QuickLookBusy · 19/09/2012 17:51

Seeker you agree that friends, family and colleagues are allowed to say what they like. So what do you suggest the Chief Constable did, when giving a press conference, other than read out what friends and colleagues actualy said

Do you suggest he said, "oh sorry I don't approve of the way these officers have been described, please can we have some different comments"

He would have been absolutely heartless to do that.

TheBigJessie · 19/09/2012 17:52

The Chief Constable's statement is not just for us. It is for all the police officers who knew her, and who are probably still at work, because crime doesn't go away.

I think that if I was a police officer, and some of my colleagues had been murdered yesterday, I think that I'd want to feel like none of us were just "dedicated, hard-working" badge numbers to our superiors.

I'd want the chief constable to make it clear that my colleague wasn't just a uniform.

amillionyears · 19/09/2012 17:53

Hi Seeker.
If the 2 women poice officers described themselves in that way,and their families did too,and their families oked the words to be said to the public,in your opinion,is it then ok for the Chief Constable to say them?
Am slightly wincing at writing on this thread because of the awful situation,but if this thread can be "resolved",it might be for the best.

ClippedPhoenix · 19/09/2012 17:53

This is where I'm coming from here.

Say for instance you have called for police assistance and a high ranking officer in charge says to you they'd send round PC whoever because she's very bubbly and a bit of a chatterbox???? I'd tell him to cock off and stop being so condescending.

amillionyears · 19/09/2012 17:55

x post with QuickLookBusy I think.

iknowwho · 19/09/2012 17:55

I'd also far rather be respected than known as bubbly in such an establishment.

Why can't you be both?

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 19/09/2012 17:55

Everyone seems to be arguing at cross purposes here. I get what seeker meant. I do, personally, find the 'young girls' thing a bit . In the end, though, it's still utterly, utterly shit that two police officers were lured to an address and murdered based on the uniform they were wearing. I hope that the man that killed them never sees daylight

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