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Original poster

To be angry that the Chief Constable chose the words..

999 replies

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:20

"gentle" and "a chatterbox" respectively to describe the two women police officers who were murdered on duty yesterday.

Can you imagine those words ever being used to describe a man?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 19/09/2012 13:41

It's not meant to belittle, it's an endearment

I said the same on a thread the other day. I agree though Bups

limitedperiodonly · 19/09/2012 13:43

cake it is not terrible for friends and family to call you gentle or a chatterbox if that's the description they knew you liked.

It is terrible for your boss to speak of you in that way because that will hold you back in your career. It is hard enough to be a female police officer or a woman trying to succeed in many other jobs without unthinking prejudice from superiors.

Especially if that prejudice is well-meant. It's harder to argue if people keep saying: 'but he/I was being nice. Stop being so horrible about him/me.'

BupcakesandCunting · 19/09/2012 13:44

Thanks, Val.

I also think it's all about the context that decides whether it is patronising or not. If you do whta seeker has done and just extracted the "offending" words from the quotes then yes, they may sound offensive, but hearing those words in the right context, I just thought "that's a really lovely thing to hear about those women." :(

squeakytoy · 19/09/2012 13:45

"It is terrible for your boss to speak of you in that way because that will hold you back in your career"

Really?? I would rethink that comment in light of WHY they were making the statement about this person.. Hmm

WorraLiberty · 19/09/2012 13:46

It is terrible for your boss to speak of you in that way because that will hold you back in your career. It is hard enough to be a female police officer or a woman trying to succeed in many other jobs without unthinking prejudice from superiors.

But that's totally out of context on this thread.

The boss was quoting what the colleagues of two dead police officers had said about them.

cakeismysaviour · 19/09/2012 13:48

They are DEAD! When they were alive, it would have been inappropriate for their boss to describe them using those words, but they have been tragically killed and have been paid loving and personal tributes straight from the moths of those who served alongside them.

The police force has lost two friends and they have understandably paid tribute to them as friends as well as collegues. It is very disrespectful to pick apart their tributes in this way.

limitedperiodonly · 19/09/2012 13:48

worra he should have chosen different words because he's speaking as their boss. Not their friend or their dad.

He could have chosen different words - 'brave', 'selfless', 'always did the right thing no matter what the danger to herself' - and been just as moving.

Sirzy · 19/09/2012 13:50

But he was also reflecting on them as people not just officers. He was the person who yesterday had the awful job of annoucing the details of what had happened at the press conference he needed to give a picture as to what they were like as people not just officers.

cakeismysaviour · 19/09/2012 13:50

mouths not moths. Sorry, my spelling is awful today...

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 19/09/2012 13:50

wow all these posts about some harmless words.
where is the anger that these police officers were murdered?
ffs time and place

Binkyridesagain · 19/09/2012 13:51

He was quoting their colleagues, do people not understand what quoting means.
If you are going to quote me you do not remove/ change words, if you did then the words would not be mine, they would be yours!

It is not a difficult concept to grasp!

cakeismysaviour · 19/09/2012 13:51

he should have chosen different words because he's speaking as their boss. Not their friend or their dad.

He was speaking on behalf of the force as a whole. A force that includes her close collegues and friends.

limitedperiodonly · 19/09/2012 13:52

okay squeaky if you want to split hairs you are quite correct.

I should have said that as a boss, and an important public figure, he has a responsibility to the way other women under his command are viewed in their careers.

Is that all right?

QuangleWangleQuee · 19/09/2012 13:54

It sounded like he was speaking about them straight from the heart in an affectionate way. Rather than trying to be as PC as possible.

WorraLiberty · 19/09/2012 13:54

Limited his job on this occasion was to speak on behalf of the women's colleagues and that's exactly what he did by quoting their own words.

squeakytoy · 19/09/2012 13:54

This whole thread IS about splitting hairs and making a fucking great feminist ISHOO about some heartfelt words concerning two murdered people.

Is that all right?

BupcakesandCunting · 19/09/2012 13:54

It's not often that I say this but I really think some people need to get a hobby.

grovel · 19/09/2012 13:56

I don't think a hobby would be enough, Bupcakes. Getting a life might do the trick.

cakeismysaviour · 19/09/2012 13:57

Well they certainly need to ger something..

A grip perhaps?

TheBigJessie · 19/09/2012 13:58

Language is important. I will generally happily argue about the sexist/racist/anythingist implications of language.

But there is a time and a place. And criticising the words of people who saw their friends who saw their friends for the last time yesterday isn't it.

Here's an analogy. I'm a pedant in my spare time. But I don't correct the spelling on cards at roadside tributes or funerals.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 19/09/2012 13:58

This thread is so disappointing. Direct your rage towards the scumbag who murdered them, not the man who spoke so kindly of them.

Mumsnet actually baffles me sometimes.

TheCraicDealer · 19/09/2012 14:00

Do you realise how hard it must be for someone like a Chief Constable to write one of these, to try and "package" someone to represent what they were really like? To try and paint a picture of them that their friends and colleagues recognise in less than 500 words?

The words used by the Chief Constable are not vastly different from the phrases commonly written by superiors to describe men killed in Afghanistan- "cheeky", "fun-loving", "joker", "larger than life" are all some that have been used recently. Trying to write something like that is difficult enough without attempting to pander to the prejudices of the permanently offended.

Abra1d · 19/09/2012 14:00

I have had bosses call me 'pet', 'honey', etc.

Often they were also the ones who pushed me forward in my career.

squeakytoy · 19/09/2012 14:00

And while we are at it... what do you think the families of these women are going to think if they stumbled across this thread? Are they going to be outraged on the behalf of the women too. Does anyone really think that right now they will even care what words he used to describe their loved ones so long as it was something compassionate?

BupcakesandCunting · 19/09/2012 14:01

If one of those women were my daughter/sister/wife I would be really comforted to know that their superior had spoken about them so personally, rather than trotting out some hackneyed cliche about how they loved their job etc.