To be shock at the parents on the 999 show on channel 4

[Notcontent]

Watching now. Teenagers being arrested. Parents seem to think that's fine and part of growing up. I cannot believe people like that exist...

Glitterknickaz if there was anything in my earlier post that offended you, I apologise and am happy to clarify. No offence was intended by me. And I suspect none was intended elsewhere either.

I'm going to assume that it was either me or kids who offended you given that (to my knowledge) we are the only ones who have mentioned the children in the way you are suggesting.

My husband's nephews are growing up in a similar (but not quite as bad) family (both parents work) and we turned the TV off because he found it upsetting that he could draw so many parallels between those children and members of his own family.

I only mentioned his middle nephew's SN to illustrate just how neglectful the parents are in not caring for him properly (and they don't) I wasn't suggesting that I believed his SN was a result of poor parenting.

They are just 3 unlucky kids with crap parents. The fact that one has multiple SN is what makes it so much more tragic for him.

sorry kids to drag you into my post - I don't want to speak for you.

Kayano, this particular 'cry of rape' will not impact anyone!

The woman was well known to the police as a working prostitute and was seen by various holiday makers having consenting sex in full daylight.

So it was not a genuine rape report. It was a very feeble attempt at wrigging out of it knowing full well the police knew what she was up to - I think she was probably joking actually.

Of course women who falsely accuse men of rape are making life harder for true victims.

And before anyone says it, yes of course prostiutes can be rape victims and sadly often are.

I mean it was not a genuine rape report - she was basically messing about and it took the copper a nano second to work that out. Then she made a joke and shrugged.

no pobs folk

the thing about here is if you mention adhd its felt that all are genuine cases and dare anybody suggest otherwise

and then you spend ages and repeating yourself your side which never is given a fare read and your labeled as disabilist,talking crap etc

nobody denies there is genuine cases but you will find in families that are chaotic compared to "normal" (waits to be picked up on that) do have a higher number of kids classed as this

but now im waiting for a flameing regarding this,proving my point about what i said upfront

basically yes i know adhd is medical but some kids will slip into this not because its medical but of enviroment

im also not going to repeat myself endlessley on this matter as i really am fed up of the same old debate and turning into a fight

Don't be so naive

Yes she didn't report it properly but it doesn't matter because she said t to the policeman. The policeman who will also be dealing with genuine claims from other women. Some of them women in very similar circumstances to her. Of course the policeman will think 'well these are similar and the other woman lied so easily I'll just ask this women again of she is really sure if that's what happened'

And the woman will feel not believed.

The police are the first people a genuine rape victim will have contact with when making their reports. If those sent out to talk to her have all experienced women like her making it up it get out of trouble of course it will lead to increased skepticism.

I don't understand why people get so so so upset about words like 'FRAPE' being damaging to the cause and then also don't condemn a woman crying rape as being the same if not worse

She feeds the people peddling the rape myths, and believe me many of those will have watched that too.

So to say that not one woman will be affected by this woman is a bit naive. I honestly think any woman who lies about it - however briefly - is awful

kids Yes, I know. Subject closed.

Oh ok sure don't listen to a word I said.

Just lecture me like I'm a complete thicko. One who isn't a fully paid up member of the We Believe You campaign.

The woman was turning tricks on a busy beach in broad daylight and was seen by many people - the police of course weren't having any of it. She didn't 'cry rape'. She didn't file a report or get anywhere near that! And therefore the police wouldn't align this 'case' with another rape report with entirely different circumstances.

I'm not saying it wasn't awful to say she was raped. In fact I'm not sure what you think I am saying.

Of course I am reading , I just don't agree with you at all. I'm not lecturing you , I'm just disagreeing and stating why I think it's naive, ESP as it was on tv and that officer will remember her regardless if he writes a report on not

I haven't lectured anyone, I think you will find eats it the only one to have lectured anyone

Just watched it. Shocked that anyone's actually shocked to be honest. This is the result of the no judgment or no stigma society. Disgraceful. As for the prostitute, whether she requires sympathy or understanding doesn't really interest me when viewed alongside toddlers left to walk the street whilst mum's otherwise engaged.

'where i come from if you were a sahm and had a cleaner people would be shocked and wouldnt understand it,same as the esa/dla debates on here alot of mn'ers wont believe that people are swinging the lead but in this enviroment it goes on alot

You're right of course, my cosy council estate upbringing in no way helped me understand what it was like to be anything other than priveledged- or something.

And no I don;t think DLA is regularly over claimed, I have a form to do right now for DS1's renewal and am bricking it; I haven't even applied for ds4 despite Paed telling me to it's so horrid to do.

ADHD- you CANNOT get a dx of it that easily. The people whose parents treat like them like shit- and I know they exist, I worked for a parenting charity actually going in and helping- tend to self diagnose, which is not in any way the same thing. Most cases of ADHD, according to research, show up on a high res MRI as damage to the corpus callosum. We can't use that diagnostically as it quite simply coasts megabucks, but that should be evidence enough for people to finally lay off (and no, I don't have a child with ADHD, mine are autistic and in a special school).

It is of course easier to neglect a child with SN- pure exhaustion, genetic links that mean a parent often has that or a related syndrome at a far lower level, massive increased poverty risks, lack of support, increased family break up- but there is nothing on that list that can't be addressed if people wanted it to be. very few actually do though, they like to judge, blame then go home and shut the door on it all.

GlittaKnickaz darling look after yourself and take a break if you need one, don;t let it get you down! Personally I really don't care if I derail, get accused of a lack of humour or any such thing- but breaks help with that

Cheers Peachy.
I'm actually quite chipper, I'm fine
Not letting the bastards grind me down.

I've met several parent diagnosers of ADHD. Where they don't actually have ADHD just the parents say so. Some parents have even asked me for tips on how to get a dx

Yes there are little shits out there. But the way it was spoken about on this very thread does very much belittle my kids' disabilities.

I bet the Blackpool tourist board are thrilled with this programme....!!

proved my points exactly peachy

and no im not explaining again before you ask

I have a daughter who has ADHD and ODD, you could never meet such a nicer teenager. I do feel having other brothers who are disabled has gave her a different take on life, one for the better. She channels her hyperactivity but we do get a lot of the attention deficit. I don't claim DLA for her even though she bedwet till 14yo, sleepwalks when she does manage to sleep. However school will tell a different story. I think the point is everything can't be blamed on ADHD.

I agree with Peachy,Glitter take a break, stay safe, don't let this get you down.

Bloody hell, I've been deleted left, right and jeffing centre.

I didn't realise I was dealing with such delicate flowers.

omg u have,honestly this is what gets up my nose about mn

I wasn't even rude! apart from go and boil your head

thats the madness of mn for you

I know this thread has moved on somewhat but just wanted to add my two penneth about the "Jeremy Kyle" comment.

Without outing myself, I work for one of the services that is featured on the programme and the staff that are featured will have been very carefully selected by the managers of that particular emergency service to ensure that they are professional, capable etc. They wouldn't have used the staff that are shit at that job, aggressive, argumentative (and yes there are emergency staff out there who are like that) so that policeman will be highly thought off and therefore I assume that his comment is perfectly acceptable in those circumstances.

I actually laughed out loud at the Jeremy Kyle comment

'the thing about here is if you mention adhd its felt that all are genuine cases and dare anybody suggest otherwise

Ah see, I don;t think all cases are genuine; but I beleive ALL genuinely diagnosed cases are- there's a difference, sadly.

Also of course it appears in chaotic families, I don;t know your life story but having 3 autistic kids, I bet I have periods of coming across pretty chaotically myself.

I didn;t ask you to explain again did I?

(I'm not really confused, I am being passively aggressive)

PS_

my quals:
parent of 3 disabled kids

Former manager for children's parenting charity

Last few months of MA in ASD.

I know stuff. Not everything, but more than many.

I thought the policeman who made the Jeremy Kyle comment came across pretty well. However, I thought the policeman who arrested Logan was extremely antagonistic and his actions inflamed the situation.

I used to be a foster carer in Blackpool and have worked in a Blackpool school, so I wasn't shocked by the programme, just saddened. A lot of help is directed at 'problem' families in the area, unfortunately you can 'take a horse to water'.....

I went on an Earlybird (autism) course with a woman who came across very 'Jeremy Kyle'.

Apparently her son was autistic + ADHD, although I never met him. Having met the mother however I couldn't help judging.... She didn't seem to have any learning difficulties or whatever that would explain her, she just seemed like she would fit in perfectly on Jeremy Kyle.

She would say things like 'My son won't let me brush his teeth and now they are rotten'. To which someone said: 'Have you tried the kids flavoured toothpaste'. Her: 'Oh yeah he likes the strawberry one, but I heard it's bad for your teeth, so he's got to use the mint one.' Me: 'Surely it's would be better to brush his teeth with strawberry toothpaste than not at all.'

Her son (about 4-5 I think) was assaulting people at school and the first week she came with his dedicated support worker. She also came with her grandma who seemed like a respectable lady, a sort of maths teacher type (not sure if she was), not sure what went wrong down the generations.... I don't think the support worker came to many sessions because the son got excluded from school so they no longer had any stake in him.

The mother came across as totally useless and lazy, and although she was talking about herself and her child constantly, you couldn't tell how much of it was her crap parenting, how much the ADHD, etc., and you did wonder whether he was autistic at all, or just completely fucked up by a useless shit mother.

Oh and she possessed a theatrical limp + walking stick and an encyclopedic knowledge of how to claim benefits.