was mil unreasonable to tell dp off for having his (clean) feet on tge coffee table in our own home?

[honeytea]

Trivial post really, I was more surprised than annoyed.

Mil, fil and grandparents (in law) came over for dinner last night. DP made a lovely dinner for everyone. After dinner we went to sit in tge living room, he insisted his parents and grandparents sat on the sofa and he sat on the office chair. The office chair tips back slightly so dp put his feet on the coffee table, its a big table so he wasn't interfering with anyone's drinks. Mil snapped at him "take your feet off tge table!" he did and looked a little sheepish.

He had just socks on and had just had a shower before they arrived so his feet were clean, we have no shoes in tge house so it's not like the floors get dirty from outside germs.

I mentioned to dp when they had left that I think it was a bit unfair for mil to tell him what to do in his own home, he's 35 years old and he wants to out his feet on his coffee table in his house he is well within his rights to do so in my opinion!

Aibu to think she was rude to tell him off like a naughty child?

Don´t give yourself a headache, What

L

Well I would look upon what she says about baby as her opinion/advice.

Take it or leave it.

But don´t overthink it!

You lot make me laugh

I think some people on MN are from a different planet. Are those of you who would recoil in horror from feet on a coffee table the same that wash towels after every use, or don't own toilet brushes?

OP YANBU, I don't think parents should tell off their adult children, although if it was just an occasional lapse out of habit I wouldn't mind. I also think there's nothing wrong with feet on a coffee table and I don't even wear clean socks every day

I think some people on MN are from a different planet. Are those of you who would recoil in horror from feet on a coffee table the same that wash towels after every use, or don't own toilet brushes?

A rough guess would be yes

No feet on a coffee table. Check.

Wash towels after every use. No, but replace daily.

No toilet brush. Check. I did buy one last year just to see, but got rid of it.

No toilet brush, towels last a long time, but get your feet off my coffee table.

What age exactly are us mothers of sons no longer allowed to talk to them like a mother? I'm agog to find out.

Feet on coffee table isn't nice so YANBU

WhatYouLookingAt I would expect to have an adult relationship with an adult, so as soon as your child becomes an adult you lose the right to mother them. Adulthood would happen some time after the age of 15 normally, but it would depend on the child, I expect the more you "mother" your child the later it will happen.

I'd changed the relationship with my mother by 15 certainly - although of course she no longer lived with me so it was slightly different, mind you it was the same with my Dad who I did live with.

No toilet brush? How are you supposed to clean the toilet?

We have no toilet brush...everyone cleans their own shit up here. With a wipe and a squirt of bleach.

Honey on mumsne it's the done thing to chuck your loo brush away, don some marigolds and scrub the bog with your hands - it's cleaner. Apparently. Although I have never met anyone who does this in all my 41 years

I'll take you out for a coffee Valium. I do it!

Thanks Folk but we'll go to Costa if you don't mind as I know where your hands have been and don't want you making the coffee

Hmm, towels get two uses here before washing & I do own a hive of filth and contagion toilet brush, but even I think feet on a table is minging.

My MIL tells dh off for all sorts - if his hair is too long, he hasn't shaved, attempts to wear jeans & Iron Maiden t-shirts to a dinner party etc. Sometimes it does my head in, sometimes it comes in use (if I need to nag him and can use the line "I'll tell your Mum!" )

YABU

Of course!

Folk

We buy Ikea 1 pound loo brushes and change them every month.

I think slobish living must be good for our immunity because dispute the foot/loo germs we don't get ill often.

We do too *honey and it's not like the loo brush gets used for anything else, is it, so I can never quite understand the hysteria over them.

Where as if you use Marigolds - where do you put them and what do you scrub the loo with?

KenLeeeeeee Tue 18-Sep-12 12:35:02
Hmm, towels get two uses here before washing

Yikes.
Bath towel weekly, hand towels every 3 days or so.

& I do own a hive of filth and contagion toilet brush
Yep, me too.

but even I think feet on a table is minging.

Nah.
Shoes on a sofa/chair - now that's minging.
Kick your slippers off and rest your feet on the arm of the sofa, the pouffe, or the coffee table. Just not the cat.

I would be annoyed at my MIL telling my husband off in his own home. My MIL regularly nags at my hubby and when he ignores her she tends to try and tell me I should be telling him off!

MN does make me laugh sometimes! Glad I'm not easily led or I'd be aquiver with nerves over breaking some of the MN "rules"

OP - I also think it's a throwback comment - she's been his mum for a loong time, she just can't help it. My Dad pulled a similar stunt on me a couple of years ago, when I was 43 (different circs but definitely going the "I'm the parent, you're my child" thing) - I was most put out, because it was in front of one of my friends and I told him in no uncertain terms (after she'd left) that it was utterly inappropriate of him to speak to me like that now! He hasn't done it since.

Re. your baby - I agree, duvet and pillow = no-no. MIL made a set for DS when he was born - never used the duvet, and no pillow until he was ~12mo.
Disposable mattress protectors should be ok to use without overheating the baby.
The thing to do is nod and smile, pretend you're going to do it her way and then do exactly what you please. :)

I never considered myself (or my family) as skanky but it has never occured to me not to refrain from putting (clean) feet on the coffee table . It is at just the right height to rest your feet. It's not an eating table!

But then, we let our cats walk across it too and let them sleep in our beds with us and only wash the towels roughly once a week and own a years old toilet brush I could go on , so even though I considered myself well-bred (and can come across as posh to other Glaswegians), in MN eyes, I am obviously dead common

well pretty its either very common or very posh dependant on what camp your in