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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to report a mum to her health visitor?

164 replies

Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:00

Not sure what to do really. Do I mind my own business or report her to her health visitor?
An old collegue of mine is feeding her 9 week old baby with baby jars, cereals and rusks, has been since baby was 6 weeks old. Dad said baby was ready. Can't believe this myself.
WWYD? Confused

OP posts:
bubalou · 14/09/2012 10:44

WOW - poor OP you are really getting a battering.

I think it's right to be worried, I have worried about dozens of children who I don't even know in the past who's mums I have seen smack them quite hard in public or feeding a 5 month old chips from McDonalds etc.

However shit this all is there really isn't anything reasonable you can do. It is her baby. She's a fucking idiot - that is undeniable, but it's her choice to make. I swear some selfish parents try and do things like this for an easy life thinking it will make baby sleep longer etc - one genius piece of logic I heard from someone who once tried to advise me to give DS baby porridge at 6 weeks old. Confused

Hopefully her health visitor will tell her when she goes for a check up that it isn't the right thing to be doing.

Smile
Tanith · 14/09/2012 11:25

A friend of mine weaned early on the "advice" of her husband, too. He was an arrogant, bullying know-it-all who insisted on her making up the baby's bottles to his specification because he knew best.

She used to be frantically making up all the bottles before he came home from work, terrified he'd be home early and catch her.

catwoo · 14/09/2012 22:27

6 week weaning is not' anecdotal' It is documented NHS advice in the late 60s and early 70s.

aufaniae · 14/09/2012 22:40

catwoo I think you have misunderstood.

No one is saying people didn't wean at 6 weeks in the past. They did in vast numbers, of course.

What we are saying is that just because a poster may have an anecdote about a baby who was weaned at 6 weeks but didn't come to any harm, it doesn't mean all babies who are weaned at six weeks will be OK.

Clear now?

catwoo · 14/09/2012 22:47

Yep.But the fact that 100s of thousands of babies were weaned at that age in the past shows it's not as drastically harmful and dangerous as the OP seems to be supposing.

aufaniae · 14/09/2012 22:59

catwoo how many of those 100s of thousands of people have suffered allergies / gut problems as a result, do you have any idea?

The fact that 100s of thousands of people were weaned so early doesn't prove anything at all, unless you know for a fact that there have been studies comparing their incidence of allergy / gut problems to people who weren't weaned early and there was found to be no significant difference. Are you aware of such research?

Seeing as the guidelines have been changed I would assume the opposite - that there's evidence that it can be damaging, wouldn't you?

catwoo · 14/09/2012 23:03

Yes I agree with you that it must have subsequently been shown that later weaning is , for some babies, preferable. But the mum in question is hardly sending her child out to play on the motorway, or similarly hazardous activity, which the OPs slightly hysterical reaction would suggest

Viewofthehills · 14/09/2012 23:23

I'd be interested to know the statistics for allergies now, compared with the sixties/seventies.
I don't remember any friends I grew up with having allergies and very few with eczema, where as I know lots of children now with quite severe forms of both.

WorraLiberty · 14/09/2012 23:34

View it wouldn't surprise me if central heating and over use of anti bac had something to do with that.

WorraLiberty · 14/09/2012 23:36

Bugger I read eczema as asthma....ignore me Blush

RaisinDEtre · 15/09/2012 00:05

article about the baby that died from being fed weetabix etc terribly sad case

OP YANBU to be concerned at ALL

bobbledunk · 15/09/2012 00:32

Could the hv do anything about it if you did call? I don't know tbh, I wouldn't report it because although it's wrong, there are so many parents who do it and they are the types who ignore the hvs advice anyway, there is nothing legally that can stop them and appealing to their common sense isn't going to work because they have none.

GothAnneGeddes · 15/09/2012 09:22

It's a bit of a horror-show on here isn't it?

O.P YANBU and don't let anecdote toting types and people who have just come on to be stroppy, tell you otherwise.

Jumping - that was the most blatant loadsamoney boast I've seen in quite some time. I wouldn't have thought I thread on baby feeding could have produced any boasting, but life is full of surprises.

Traceymac2 · 15/09/2012 10:23

The HV could give advice, education and support to this mother. There is no need for her to tell this woman that she has been reported. If she is feeding a six week old baby solids because obviously it's suits her and her dh then there may be other aspects of her parenting that may be questionable also. The poor baby was probably having a growth spurt and wanting to feed more often and the parents have interpreted this as a cue to start solids.
Personally I think weaning, whizzing up purrees, making sure you set aside time into your/baby's routine for spoon feeds, etc, is a real pain and can't understand why a parent would want to add that to the long list of things to do each day until it's necessary.
That little baby can't speak up for himself so it has to fall onto someone else to do it for him.

Titchyboomboom · 15/09/2012 10:24

What a minefield weaning is! In terms of protecting children in general I can see why people advise health visitors of concerns they have - then you feel that you have done your bit, out of your hands, and the health visitor can assess the situation. A friend of mine went discreetly to her friends health visitor as said friend was very depressed and not leaving the house. This helped in the end. If you feel like you need to, please do. The worst thing to do is not report a concern and something happen. What's the worst that can happen here, the health visitor mentions it and gets told to sod off :)

unhappyhildebrand · 15/09/2012 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Socknickingpixie · 15/09/2012 13:04

who would have thought a thread like this would get so heated (but intresting)

fwiw the baby who died of salt poisening was fed pretty much anything and everything the parents had ready break instead of baby rice and gravey made from granules. even in 1999 people would have known that was dangerious they would have also known that back then guidelines where also 'best after 6 months but if you must 4 months.

weetabix on occasion is a perfectly suitable weaning food when you factor in fruit and other baby suitable stuff and the rest of the diet when the baby is over 6 months.

op perhaps you could when you see her outside of work just work it into the convo. and if shes actually said 'hv dosnt need to know' then i would guess she knows its stupid but is taking advice from an idiot who has probally told her the baby will sleep better/cry less/be less hard work.

SneakyNuts · 15/09/2012 13:17

YANBU, OP. Do it- she's either ignorant or misinformed so definitely speak to her HV.

I couldn't give a gnats chuff if it offended or upset her, a baby that tiny isn't ready for food, whether she thinks it is or not.

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 15/09/2012 14:46

Jeez, I came on here for a bit of advice and get slated for the job I do Shock charming.

For what it's worth, I do have qualifications and had a well paid, highly stressful job before the children came along. While the children are little, I want a job that fits around my life and has zero stress. Is this a crime?

God knows what all this has to do with my original question though. Some of you stuck up posters need to get your heads out of your behinds Grin

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/09/2012 15:07

I'm a bit surprised that baby rice and rusks at 6 weeks have been extrapolated to the baby having a "hard life" and most definitely developing serious health problems.

It's not ideal, no, but then the vast majority of the population who were weaned this way for decades did not develop all sorts of problems.
The guidelines are there to protect the babies who may develop allergies etc.
Avoidance tactics if you will.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 15/09/2012 15:18

If the baby was 14/15 weeks then one could argue that the baby was very hungry etc but the baby was six weeks!!! If she said to u that the health visitor doesn't need to know then she bloody well knows she shouldn't be doing it and if someone is stupid and selfish enough to wean a baby at six weeks then god knows what else she could be doing. For the sake of that baby id say something :)

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 15/09/2012 15:59

Salmotrutta: It's not just baby rice and rusks though, it's all manor of baby jars being stuffed down the poor lads neck.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/09/2012 16:10

Meh. I'd mention it to the HV.

If the baby was 4 months I wouldn't bat an eyelid; but 6 weeks is just daft.

Dominodonkey · 15/09/2012 16:25

OP YANBU at all to be concerned - I would probably mention it to the HV in passing without naming names and see what their reaction was.

It would be lovely if people actually read threads properly. It is totally different because you know her. And sorry that some people are snobbish idiots on here.

holyfishnets · 15/09/2012 18:22

No baby is ready at 9 weeks and in fact it is very damaging. I wold ring the HV without doubt. Poor kid

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