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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to report a mum to her health visitor?

164 replies

Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:00

Not sure what to do really. Do I mind my own business or report her to her health visitor?
An old collegue of mine is feeding her 9 week old baby with baby jars, cereals and rusks, has been since baby was 6 weeks old. Dad said baby was ready. Can't believe this myself.
WWYD? Confused

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 14/09/2012 01:44

My eldest is nearly 16 and the guideline when he was a baby as stated in his red book was 12-16weeks.

Guidelines are adaptable, that's why they are called guidelines.

The way people act like you're poisoning a baby if you give it anything other than milk before 6 months is hysterical.

Some babies who were weaned before 6 months will develop allergies, some wont, same goes for babies weaned after 6 months.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt · 14/09/2012 01:46

Can you not read?

The OP knows the mother in question.

She is not just a random customer.

This is clearly stated in the OP.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt · 14/09/2012 01:46

Can you not read?

The OP knows the mother in question.

She is not just a random customer.

This is clearly stated in the OP.

MadameDefarge · 14/09/2012 01:48

a six week old baby's digestive system is not the same as a 12 week olds....is this so hard to understand?

WorraLiberty · 14/09/2012 01:59

Yes I read the fact that they are old colleagues

I also read the fact that they share a HV

But most importantly I read the fact the OP whilst scanning the woman's personal goods, decided to clearly overstep the line and consider 'reporting' this customer to her HV because through her work she has become privy to what she has decided to feed her child Hmm

Therefore I stand by what I said....Scan the goods, take the money, give the change, wave bye bye

If Mrs Goggins from number 52 was buying a pregnancy test and the OP knew her DH was incapable of having sex, would she be within her rights to poke her nose in there too?

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 14/09/2012 03:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

CheerfulYank · 14/09/2012 03:37

It's a terrible idea to feed a six week old baby food like that, but my Grandma still talks about giving my dad and his brothers and sister cereal at 2 weeks. It's not going to kill the baby.

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 14/09/2012 03:38

Lol at the olden days comment. Men also used to drug their wives with lithium to make them agreeable and quiet... That ok by you lot cause it happened in't good old days.

CatKitson · 14/09/2012 07:06

What is it, the supermarket Stazi? Are you going to report people if they have a few too many bottles of wine in their trolley too, or monster munch and no broccolli?

People need to learn to mind their own business, there is far too much of this over-interference in people's private choices and lives.

Diddydollydo · 14/09/2012 07:19

Wow. The snidey comments regarding the OP being 'a checkout assistant' like she is therefore not worthy of opinion are really shitty. I'm surprised at a couple of posters here, I've never thought of them as the 'superior' type and what the OP does for a living is irrelevant.

I would be inclined to keep my nose out too OP, it sounds like your friend has made up her mind anyway and it's not unheard of for people to do this.

captainmummy · 14/09/2012 08:25

Queen of diamonds - your post at 3.28 is offensive (more so than the others, I mean). I've reported it.

OP, wotchoouuu done?

DinosaursOnASpaceship · 14/09/2012 08:35

Someone I know has been feeding her baby rusk in his bottle since birth to make him sleep, baby also has apple juice and baby rice. Baby doesn't sleep, is sick a lot and cries what seems like constantly. She gives him the extra hungry baby food as he's "obviously still hungry" and gaviscon for the throwing up. Baby is also left to cry during the night to "teach him not to cry for attention"

She took him to the health visitor about the crying and the hv said he had wind as he was pulling his knees up and was constipated but mother failed to mentioned she had weaned so hv is trying to help without knowing the poor child had stomach ache constantly.

She is very young, and is following advice from an 80 year old woman who thinks she is the worlds main authority on child reading. Little baby spends half the day at the end of the garden in a pram. I don't go round anymore. It's to sad.

ReallyTired · 14/09/2012 08:49

Sparklyblue
I think its lovely that you care. People who think that checkout assistants are stupid are beneath concempt. We all have a responsiblity to the nations children, including supermarket checkout people. Lots of people work in supermarkets because it fits in with their lives rather than because they lack qualifiations. It is surprisingly competitive to get a job at Tescos these days.

I remember being in a similar situation with a friend at church who proudly weaned at 6 weeks and choosing to bite my tongue. I now wished I said something as that poor child now has ezcema from hell.

There is a fine line between parental choice and what is dangerous. Guidelines do chop and change all the time.

Badvoc · 14/09/2012 08:52

My sil weaned my neice at 10 weeks.
I tried to tell her the advice, even suggested it may make her ill, all to no avail.
Not much you can do I am afraid.
still shocked by bro went along with it tbh....

redexpat · 14/09/2012 09:02

Yes you could contact the health visitor. No one would ever know.

My friend was struggling with her newborn. DH runs cubs with her HV so he had a very subtle word. Also I told her priest (because he's one of those super happy super supportive priests) and suggested he visited. She has no idea that I did either of these things, but got some extra support and is now totally fine.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 14/09/2012 09:08

Surely ss and hv and the like cannot be aware of everything or be everywhere at once. They rely on people keeping them informed of potentially worrying or neglectful circumstances. I do not believe any baby can be sooooo hungry at just six weeks that it needs food other than milk!! The baby could face at best serious malnutrition or major allergies and gut problems at first baby could die so yes a gentle word wouldn't do any harm. Op I believe u are genuinely concerned for the welfare of the baby are are victim of some harsh responses. If you dong speak up for the baby who will ?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 14/09/2012 09:08

Worst not first Blush

aufaniae · 14/09/2012 09:48

"If Mrs Goggins from number 52 was buying a pregnancy test and the OP knew her DH was incapable of having sex, would she be within her rights to poke her nose in there too?"

Can't you see that situations is totally different? Not least because only adults are involved, but especially because no one is getting physically harmed in your example.

She is worried about the physical health of a baby whose mother seems to be harming it through wilful ignorance. That's a completely different situation.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 14/09/2012 09:53

i doubt very much that a baby died of salt poisning from eating weetabix alone. It was kin the case you are probably think about a mixture or ready made mash potato and the likes.

aufaniae · 14/09/2012 09:58

I thought of that case too when I saw this.

I googled it, and found that the coroner did indeed state that the baby died from salt poisoning from the cereal. Weetabix however denied they had salt in their product and were taking legal action.

I don't know what the outcome was.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 14/09/2012 10:03

ah ok that is odd that there is disagreement between coroner and weetabix.

catwoo · 14/09/2012 10:05

When I was a baby that advice was to start weaning at 4-6 weeks .No babies died!

aufaniae · 14/09/2012 10:14

"No babies died!" How do you know this exactly?

If there's a link between early weaning and asthma, then some people could die as a result of early weaning. Asthma is manageable for the most part, but sadly it can kill. (That lovely actress from Four Weddings, and Oranges are not the Only Fruit sadly died from asthma).

There are many negative outcomes other than death! Many people are suffering as a result of early weaning. SIL for example (weaned at 6 weeks) suffers terribly from her allergies, she has a miserable time.

It's possible she might have been saved from that suffering by someone giving her mum better advice and holding off weaning for a few weeks.

The OP could potentially be saving another human being from a lot of suffering. She's doing the right thing by trying to help.

The attitudes of some people on this thread make me Sad

brdgrl · 14/09/2012 10:31

Don't you all realise that anectdotal 'evidence' outweighs science, statistical analysis and common sense?

"My grand-dad smoked three packs a day, and he lived to be 100"

"I know lots of people who don't use rear-facing car seats and none of their babies have sustained brain damage in a car accident"

"My mum fed us all on a diet of pig shit and twix bars, and now I earn a six-figure salary"

Sigh.

aufaniae · 14/09/2012 10:36

"Don't you all realise that anectdotal 'evidence' outweighs science, statistical analysis and common sense?"

Oh, yes, my mistake, I forgot, silly me! Thanks for the reminder brdgrl!

(Frustratingly isn't it.)