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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to report a mum to her health visitor?

164 replies

Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:00

Not sure what to do really. Do I mind my own business or report her to her health visitor?
An old collegue of mine is feeding her 9 week old baby with baby jars, cereals and rusks, has been since baby was 6 weeks old. Dad said baby was ready. Can't believe this myself.
WWYD? Confused

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 13/09/2012 21:25

Yes, disciplined. I go to a supermarket to purchase goods, not have the checkout girl/woman/lady/non gender specific comment on my lifestyle. If I want an opinion, I'll ask for it from someone qualified to give it. You're employed to go blip, blip, blip, £57.80 please ... nothing more nothing less....For example, I do not like checkout staff commenting that my weekly shopping bill is more than they get paid monthly. This is not my problem. My advice was they enrolled at college and got some superior qualifications and a better hourly rate. They did not like that advice mainly because it was unsolicited. However, I felt compelled to offer advice back on the comment made to me.

Advice is like an arse hole, everyone has one. She should have kept her's covered.

enteramusingnamehere · 13/09/2012 21:26

Does the baby look ill? If it does then say something, if it appears fine then don't.

wigglesrock · 13/09/2012 21:27

I'd complain about you too, you're at work, she's doing her shopping, you're advising her on weaning Hmm Do you do the same to those that buy alcohol, food that's high in fat, lots of sweets etc?

No, she shouldn't be weaning that early but not really sure why you would have a chat to her HV.

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:27

I no it's not illegal, just wanted the health visitor to give her some guidance, but I will let it go. I know there are bigger things to worry about.
I suppose I am a born worrier Blush

OP posts:
numbertaker · 13/09/2012 21:29

I am sure my son went on baby rice at 8 weeks.

For goodness sake, leave the woman alone, report her to the HV.

I really can't understand how anyone would report someone to the bloody authorities for anything less than child abuse...get a grip.

MadgeHarvey · 13/09/2012 21:30

Good God. Keep your sticky beak out! I had a 90's baby and was advised by more than one professional to start using baby rice at 6 weeks. I did. Amazingly the strapping healthy intelligent happy 21 year old is upstairs doing his Uni work as we speak. OP - you need not one but several grips - shall we have a whip round?

ModreB · 13/09/2012 21:30

DS1 was on rusk, baby rice and liquidised porridge (made with formula) from 8 weeks old. This was 1990. He needed it as was also having 8oz bottles every 3 hours as well. The 6m guidelines are that - guidelines. Every baby is different.

numbertaker · 13/09/2012 21:30

lol I meant to say, do not report her to the HV. Must type better when outraged

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:30

I was talking to her about all manor of things as I know her. I wouldn't speak to anyone else like this.
I'm leaving this thread now as it is getting nasty.
Thanks for all your advice.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 13/09/2012 21:30

Worry about something that is your business, then.

MadgeHarvey · 13/09/2012 21:31

Yeah see - you can run away from the 'nasty' thread - can your poor friend run away from the officials you want to report her to?

crackcrackcrak · 13/09/2012 21:31

yanbu. your friend is an idiot. 6 weeks ffs what is wrong with people?

the guideline is 6 months because when it was 4 months lots of other idiots thought they could do it earlier.

sigh

midori1999 · 13/09/2012 21:32

I too know someone like this. I think they're a twat that ignores up to date advice and is potentially risking harming their child by doing so, but they are aware of the guidelines, so it's up to them as it's not illegal and I certainly wouldn't 'report' to the HV. Tbh, I doubt any HV would care anyway, most I have seen are of the age where it would have been the norm to wean at that age.

However, the person I know frequently posts on her Facebook about how she 'can't believe xxx has just eaten a whole jar followed by pudding' (been doing this since he was about ten weeks old) and I often feel like posting 'neither can I'... Grin

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 13/09/2012 21:34

how do you even know what she was buying was for that baby Hmm. how do you know who she is and who her HV is Hmm.

MadgeHarvey · 13/09/2012 21:34

Holy smoke! Another one! crack - it's a fucking 'guideline' not the law and just as it was when 'guidelines' were different you can't go to jail for not slavishly following it.

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:36

I said up thread (if you would like to read it properly Madge) that report was too strong a word. I just thought a bit of guidence from her health visitor would help.
I've taken all the advice on board and will leave it. As I said above, I worry a bit too much and I would never dream of commenting on strangers shopping, it's only because I know her that I mentioned it.

OP posts:
GoldPlatedNineDoors · 13/09/2012 21:37

Loving how hypocritical some of you are being. Someone asks for weaning advice or says "im going to wean at nine weeks" and get faced with a barrage of "wait....bad for the baby....its 17-26weeks for a reason" and here the OP is getting a bashing for being Hmm at a baby being weaned at 9 weeks.

OP yanbu. A baby being weaned at nine weeks is not good. Ill bet my hat that should the media ever report a story of a baby taking ill or worse due to being force fed at such a very young age would warrant a thread full of MNers saying "why didnt anyone talk to the HV...surely their friends or family could have reported them....theres tons of advice out there.....this is about the children".

YANBU.

PropertyNightmare · 13/09/2012 21:40

I don't think there is anything wrong at all with you speaking to her HV. Poor baby. Reckon it's in for a hard life Sad.

marriedinwhite · 13/09/2012 21:41

My DS is nearly 18. He was a very hungry baby. When he was a baby the guidance was to start weaning at 16 weeks. My GP said he needed something more than milk at about 11 weeks, ie, two weeks older than this little baby and he gobbled it down, taking to it straight away. My grandad thought that was a bit late as they started weaning my mum at 6 or 7 weeks. Guidelines and advice changes.

whispers gently

MadgeHarvey · 13/09/2012 21:41

Poor baby. Reckon it's in for a hard life

What an incredibly stupid and offensive thing to say. Does that cover those of us who brought up babies differently based on DIFFERENT advice given at the time?

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:41

Thank you Gold. As I said, I am just worried about the baby.
TheEnthusiasticTroll: I know her, she was talking about feeding the baby with the food. She has the same HV as me.

OP posts:
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 13/09/2012 21:43

unless the child is ill no one will be able to do anything about it. The authorities certainly cant step in unless something was happening as a result to affect the childs development. Therefore reporting to HV will be pointless and it is a matter of opinion, guidlines and not the law that children are weined at any certain age. It is not abuse or neglect wether anyones opinion is that it is wrong or unwise, unless anyone can prove it childs at imediate danger, which I doubt very much any one could.

ClimbingPenguin · 13/09/2012 21:45

Now you see what you should have posted was AIBU to have not said anything about friend weaning her child at 6 weeks...

Original poster
Sparklyblue · 13/09/2012 21:46

Marriedinwhite: I know what my job entails. I wouldn't dream of commenting on the shopping of people in general. But as I said up thread, I know the girl and we were talking about how the baby was. She told me about the weaning as I put her shopping through.

OP posts:
aufaniae · 13/09/2012 21:47

Yes you should do something. Speaking to her directly would be the first thing but I see you've tried that. Can you try again, perhaps somewhere less public / pressured than at the checkout?

"they were often weaned that young in t'olden day"

SIL was weaned at 6 weeks (MIL still has her weaning diary).
She has every allergy going and really suffers. Sad

There's stuff that's a parenting choice, and there's stuff that's bloody stupid and possibly damaging to the baby. This is second type IMO.