To be a bit shocked by what other mother said

[dysfunctionalme]

At my son's birthday party, another mother wanted to talk about schools. She is a teacher and generally takes an authoritative line on schooling. She said her dd was doing very well at school, "she's an advanced learner, just amazing" and then, in the very same breath, suggested I consider sending my ds to another school "where they have a great programme for special needs boys".

Which would be possibly a helpful comment if my son had special needs.

But I am not aware he does. He is 4 and is a busy and seemingly very normal child. I thought?

It all took me a bit by surprise and being busy with the party, didn't go any further with it. Now I'm wondering why she said that and if there's something glaringly "special" about my son.

To explain what he's like, he is 4, physically fine, extremely verbal, sociable (has several good friends and manages group situations normally), can stay on task for extended periods of time e.g. yesterday he worked independently on a craft kit for around 30mins (which had flummoxed me tbh)

He likes to run and climb and throw things and I do ask him about 20 times a day not to squash/throw/stretch whatever it is.

Is that weird?

I didn't notice them in DD until she dramatically regressed and looking back the signs were there, didn't have any other children to compare her to.

It happens.

Lougle Thu 13-Sep-12 10:43:16
It might be true, but once a word has passed from normal usage to an insult, polite people see it as such and stop using it.

I worked overseas for a while and referred to someone as a spastic when I came back. I was pointedly told it was an insult, and they had cerebral palsy.

The issue is that some may not see it as an insult, and so, of course, your casting people as polite/not polite is a convention based on your understanding of the term.

I'm sure OP will be aware of concerns about the term now.

[cf. Negro/coloured/Black/people of colour/African-American] which has tripped me up on more than one visit to the US in 30 odd years.

The op was, I am sure, aware of the connotation of the word- otherwise why the inverted commas?

Now, Seeker, you cynic. The OP obviously put the word in inverted commas because she thought the woman was saying her DS was too wonderful to be in the same school as her mediocre child

Of course she knew the connotation. Of course she knew that it wasn't a positive phrase when placed in commas. But of course, we with children who are 'special' should just laugh it off, because it's only words, isn't it?

Lougle Must you drip with sarcasm when I've just taken a sip of my coffee? It's dangerous! Now I've got to clean my laptop up.

What a waste of good coffee

true..didn't do my laptop any favours either