Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Changing nappies in church

211 replies

StormGlass · 09/09/2012 16:47

We went to a christening today.

After the service had finished, and as people were starting to leave the church (quite slowly, as the family group were loitering around the font so guests could take photos if they wanted), one woman changed her little girl's shitty nappy on the end of one of the pews.

I thought this was very bad behaviour.

Okay, shitty nappies need to be changed before too long or the kid could get nappy rash - but the service had finished. People were leaving the church. I've never been in that church before, so no idea what the toilet facilities were like, but surely the mum could have found somewhere outside the church to change the nappy, if it needed doing urgently. Like the well tended grassy verge outside the church, or their car, for instance.

I didn't mention anything, as the family group didn't seem to notice and I didn't want to spoil their day by making a fuss about it. But I'm sort of wondering if I should have said something.

AIBU to think this was unacceptable behaviour? And pretty grim.

OP posts:
RightBuggerforGOLD · 09/09/2012 21:02

Yabu. It's a nappy change, nbd. I'm sure nobody minded (except you for no good reason). Churches are supposed to be family, caring places. People should feel able to give their baby a change there if they need to and there is no proper facilities (unlikely in an old church).

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 09/09/2012 21:03

Can I join in the Great Train Debate? If:

  • the train didn't have a toilet: I'd change the baby on the seat next to me/floor on a changing mat.
  • the train was packed, I was travelling for hours and moving would mean standing for the rest of the way: I'd change the baby on my lap on a changing mat.
  • the train had a toilet but it was filthy: I'd change the baby on the seat next to me/carriage floor on a changing mat.
  • the train had a toilet that was reasonably clean with space to change a baby: I'd change the baby in the toilet on a changing mat.

Et voila.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 09/09/2012 21:04

raspberry you are my kind of atheist!

NellyBluth · 09/09/2012 21:04

Don't, Sarry, now you're making me want a fag and I'm supposed to be cutting down!! Grin

While I admire you immensely for doing 5 hours on a train with a wee one, I don't quite see what difference that makes to changing a nappy? I don't mean that in a snarky way, I just mean if you are on a long journey then you know there is a high chance of poo at some point...

TheCuratesWife · 09/09/2012 21:06

My husband is an ordained minister. The two churches we have attended over the past several years both have baby changing facilities, but 75% of the time I don't use them. I much prefer to change nappies, poo or otherwise, on the floor. I would do it on a pew too, but probably not just as the service was letting out. (I would use a changing mat though...most of the time).

5madthings · 09/09/2012 21:07

yes that sounds fair enough superiorpeasant i am yet to travel on a train that has a toilet big enough to change a baby in or that is remotely clean enough to do so either! and i travel on trains regularly! so its mat on the seat next to me, or the floor inbetween carriages, with a mat again.

i often have several children with me as well so i cant take them all to the toilet with me, would leave the elder 3 but not ds4 at just 4yrs old, tho i may do in the next few months depending. i try and travel as light as possible and that means no extra blanket just for nappy changing, i have one of those fold up little mats, it has a couple of pockets for wipes and nappies etc, its teeny but does the job.

DowagersHump · 09/09/2012 21:07

You really don't a plastic changing mat out with you? Seriously, why the fuck not?

If a church doesn't have a loo, take the baby outside, change it on the grass, change it in some back room or something, don't do it one a pew. It's just grim.

5madthings · 09/09/2012 21:08

umm being on a train means there are often no other facilites or anywhere else to go and change a nappy, the toilets are too small to change a baby in, and often disgusting.

5madthings · 09/09/2012 21:09

who doesnt take a mat with them? i take a small fold up change mat but i dont as another poster suggested take a blanket to put on a dirty toilet floor in a train.

Sirzy · 09/09/2012 21:10

What if its raining? And generally the churches small enough to not have toilets aren't going to have back rooms which can be used either.

Its a nappy, it takes seconds to change. Nobody has to look, nobody is eating nearby. Its not ideal but if there is no alternative its better than a baby sitting in a shitty nappy

CSIJanner · 09/09/2012 21:14

Just putting in my tuppence thought here. God is everywhere. Consecrated buildings, grass, pub eating area or labour ward with legs strapped up. God's seen it all.

You'll find most congregations accepting of nappy changes, breast feeding and teething babies. They're little - as that PP's wonderful vicar said, Jesus would have done the same. As did the Queen. It would have however been disrespectful waving it around and then leaving it behind. As Slightly says, it's the reasons that God looks to, not the actions itself (James 3:7). Personally, I would have asked if there were facilities or ask to use the vestibule if it was an absolute stinker, especially if there was another service afterwards. But that's me. However, saying that, if the baby needs changing, it needs changing. God would understand.

Original poster
StormGlass · 09/09/2012 21:22

Personally, I think it's disrespectful to change a nappy in a place of worship. Although I can see that plenty of people don't feel the same way.

I've also just spent some time googling the church in question, and it's got a church hall attached. So I'd guess it's likely that there would have been a toilet or back room there to change a nappy in.

And it was a warm, sunny day where I live, not a drop of rain to fall on a baby having it's nappy changed outside in a discreet corner.....

OP posts:
DowagersHump · 09/09/2012 21:27

I never took a blanket but I always took a mat. I'm trying to remember back to when I was in some in extremis situations. I've changed babies on the ground, under a tree, on the back seat of a car. I can't do it on my knees but I'm bloody impressed by people that can.

I just think it stinks and it's pretty unpleasant for everyone else so it's incumbent on you to find somewhere to change your baby where it's going to bother other people as little as possible. There may be times where it's absolutely impossible to find a place that you can feasibly change one without bothering other people but that doesn't sound the case in the OP's scenario.

crashdollGOLD · 09/09/2012 21:34

I think some of the parents here are totally blinded by saying "it's only a nappy". I understand why because it's your child and to you, it is only a nappy but to many non-parents it is quite another matter. I'm not yet a parent but I've been looking after toddlers and babies for 6 years. I've changed a lot of nappies, so I'm a lot less fussed but still, it can be quite a task and doesn't come naturally to me because I don't have that bond with the child.

apostropheuse · 09/09/2012 21:35

mrskeithrichards....

I'm another one who always changed my four babies on my knees. My daughters asked me to show them and that's how they do it with their babies too.

It's no hassle to do, no mats necessary.

apostropheuse · 09/09/2012 21:39

crashdollgold,

I admire the fact that you can changes nappies for babies who are not your own.

I changed my own four children's nappies, and I've changed my six grandchildren's. However, I could never change my nieces' or nephews' nappies, nor my friends' children's nappies. Any time I tried I was almost sick!

To clarify - I'm talking shitty nappies!

SrirachaGirl · 09/09/2012 21:40

Yuk! P(ew)

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 09/09/2012 21:44

I couldn't understand why DH moaned so much about changing DS's dirty nappies until I babysat for a friend with a DS the same age. To me, DS's dirty nappies were a bit pongy but no big deal. I nearly threw up changing my friend's baby. The smell was disgusting. I held my breath and was still retching. After that, I let DH off changing DS's dirty nappies most of the time.

watermargin · 09/09/2012 21:48

When I've had my baby on a train I have changed her in the space between the carriages, more room than the toilets but quiet and I have a changing mat :)

apostropheuse · 09/09/2012 21:49

Slightlysuperiorpeasant...I sincerely hope you never admitted that to your DH!

iggi777 · 09/09/2012 21:51

It's as well some of you don't work in a nursery!

I'm not sure how easily I would find my way to the toilets or hall in a church I hadn't been to before. And who would I ask? Other folk around are visitors too, and the priest is tied up at the font with the picture taking.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 09/09/2012 21:52

On that occasion I apologised for spending 18 months thinking he was being a lazy git. He was appropriately smug.

5madthings · 09/09/2012 21:56

water i change there as well if i can, but often on trains that bit has bikes/pushchairs in and there isnt the space.

apostropheuse · 09/09/2012 21:58

iggi777...no money in the world would entice me to work in a nursery Smile

I also couldn't be a nurse/carer for the same reasons.

Strangely enough, though, I did nurse my terminally ill mother at home until she died and obviously had to deal with her toileting needs.

Perhaps it's a case of being able to do something if you really HAVE to IYSWIM.

larks35 · 09/09/2012 22:02

Only read OP but even the title just made me think of a hymn I used to sing at church/school years ago

"Suffer little children to come unto me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven!"

It's based on the bible story where Jesus tells all the adults to let the children through to him. I reckon Jesus himself would say YABU OP Grin!

Swipe left for the next trending thread