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AIBU?

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Original poster

Changing nappies in church

211 replies

StormGlass · 09/09/2012 16:47

We went to a christening today.

After the service had finished, and as people were starting to leave the church (quite slowly, as the family group were loitering around the font so guests could take photos if they wanted), one woman changed her little girl's shitty nappy on the end of one of the pews.

I thought this was very bad behaviour.

Okay, shitty nappies need to be changed before too long or the kid could get nappy rash - but the service had finished. People were leaving the church. I've never been in that church before, so no idea what the toilet facilities were like, but surely the mum could have found somewhere outside the church to change the nappy, if it needed doing urgently. Like the well tended grassy verge outside the church, or their car, for instance.

I didn't mention anything, as the family group didn't seem to notice and I didn't want to spoil their day by making a fuss about it. But I'm sort of wondering if I should have said something.

AIBU to think this was unacceptable behaviour? And pretty grim.

OP posts:
CoolaSchmoola · 09/09/2012 18:01

If the minister didn't care - then it's a non-issue.

When my daughter is teething she has to have dirty nappies changed immediately as she gets blisters if she has to wait. In literally a couple of minutes. In that instance, to save my DD a couple of days of pain, if there were no facilities available then I would change her anywhere I could. And if that gave anyone the "absolute RAGE" I wouldn't care.

No adults disdain or fury is worth my DD being in absolute screaming agony. Sorry!

That said I would have looked for somewhere else but if that was all there was, then so be it.

As for a family christening - they're often part of the Sunday service - so the assumption that people will drive to them only really applies to the families of the babies and not the congregation. This person may be one of the congregation and if there are no facilities then waiting til the end of service and using a pew may be the accepted way in that church.

But seriously - who cares?! In my church we wouldn't - babies are the most welcome people there, and pooing is what they do. We wouldn't force a child to stay in a dirty nappy just to prevent pearl-clutching...

sillymillyb · 09/09/2012 18:02

I've just asked my mum who regularly takes my ds to church for me so I can sleep

She says it wouldn't bother her, but she wouldn't do it as the "old ladies" would think it was beyond the pale and she wouldn't want to offend anyone.

GoldShip · 09/09/2012 18:02

If this had happened in a mosque there'd be uproar.

There's plenty of other places she could have gone. Couldn't she have waited?

alittlebitshy · 09/09/2012 18:03

Hmm. Not sure. I tended to my my mat on the floor on church (at the back) when mine were young. I kind of think that a wet nappy would be a different issue, as easy to whip it off and a new one on. Am sure the floor at the back/flower room/a vesty are good options but tbh if she was not a church goer she may have been embarrassed to ask and assume (wrongly it seems)that it was easiest to just do it where she was.

No a lot of churches do not have changing facilities. it is all down to finances and many churches do not have the funds to do many of the jobs they need to do.

CoolaSchmoola · 09/09/2012 18:04

"But I'm sort of wondering if I should have said something"

Like what? Hardly your place to say something - unless you are the minister/vicar or a church steward. If they didn't have a problem with it why should you?

You were a visitor to the church, it's not your church, why is it any of your business what someone else does there? It's a CHURCH - a place of acceptance. And you were in there judging - doesn't quite fit with the ethos....

Napdamnyou · 09/09/2012 18:05

It's not the church thing, I wouldn't do it in a village hall either. I would nip into the church porch or the loo if there was one.

Abra1d · 09/09/2012 18:05

I would never do this. Nor would I change a baby's nappy at a cafe table. I'd use the church loo. Which is what it's for, no?

Abra1d · 09/09/2012 18:06

Obv. not the church loo if I was at a cafe.

Mintyy · 09/09/2012 18:06

It is everybody's business if they don't like seeing shitty nappies changed in front of them. People can think what they like, and say something, if they have a mind to.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 09/09/2012 18:07

Since God made babies and babies poo, then I wouldn't offended. As long as she kept the pew clean, I wouldn't get too worked up.

Sirzy · 09/09/2012 18:08

The porch would probably be fuller after the service than the church!

Sometimes their is no alternative especially in older smaller churches

cat · 09/09/2012 18:08

I breastfed in a confessional box at Midnight Mass.

Shoot me.

MrsKeithRichards · 09/09/2012 18:08

There is carol

What I meant to say there is absolutely no fucking reason for this, it's rank and undignified.

Sirzy · 09/09/2012 18:09

Simply solution minty is don't look, in a pew with the mother with the back to the aisle is hardly doing it in glaring view of people unless they stop to have a look

Mintyy · 09/09/2012 18:10

Dear God, what the actual fuck has breastfeeding got to do with this convo?

Scream!!!

conantg · 09/09/2012 18:11

YANBU. She didn't need to do this in the church. Would she do this in a restaurant? At a wedding reception? Some people have no decorum.

SarryB · 09/09/2012 18:13

It's just poo.

I had to change LO's dirty nappy on the seat next to me on a train journey the other day. Needs must.

bonnieslilsister · 09/09/2012 18:13

I would get more irritated by you fussing tbh

Kazriina · 09/09/2012 18:18

Hmm we did this today, at a christening. In our defense our daughter is 7 weeks old and we bent down onto the floor of one of the back pews during the service. Noone seemed to mind, however now I'm thinking was this us (with a few alterations in the OP?!)

I'm sure god didn't mind, being all family friendly and stuff
Hmm

ValiumQueen · 09/09/2012 18:21

Breastfeeding is completely different to changing a nappy. I would not dream of changing a baby in church, but regularly breastfeed. If the church does not have a toilet, which I doubt, I would use the hall. I would probably ask someone where the best place to do it was.

Sirzy · 09/09/2012 18:24

My church has a toilet but it is tiny and changing a nappy in there would be impossible. We also don't have a church hall.

CoolaSchmoola · 09/09/2012 18:25

Wonders how many of the people who think this is so very wrong actually regularly go to church?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 09/09/2012 18:25

You know it is a mortal sin to breast feed in a confessional...... :)

SarryB · 09/09/2012 18:27

Coola - just what I was thinking.

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2012 18:29

it wouldn't have crossed my mind to do it in a church. I was a bit flabbergasted when we went out for a meal with SIL, BIL and their baby one night. It was a fairly expensive Thai restaurant (so did have decent sized toilet facilities), SIL just put the baby on the floor (in the middle of the restaurant) and changed the nappies there. I asked her if we shouldn't go to the ladies instead but she said it wouldn't be as convenient. I found that odd behaviour. When people are eating around you, it is a bit unnecessary to set your baby on the floor amidst them and deal with poo, at least in my book.

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